Thank you.
I can piece it all together now.
You are wasting your talent.
Writing 17lb. religious screeds like the lonely Unabomber is tragic. You don't need this in your life.
Religion is for losers. You deserve a real life and a good one. You are only a loser if you throw away the "real" in life and go for the "effect".
We no longer live in a world where homosexuality is a disease. It is only pea-brained morons who view homosexuals that way. Why throw in with that lot? It is the religious people in Christianity who made life for gays the living hell you describe!
Hating somebody because an ancient book of propaganda tells you that you must is hideous! Why embrace such a book and such a mindset?
You have brains and talent and humanity in you. USE IT to better yourself. Hang out with rational people. Go to a Philosophy discussion group. Visit an Objectivist Center. Become political. Throw in with artists who are creating something.
You'll only make the world a taller pile of steaming dung if you continue to uphold religious ideas and perpetuate the soul-killing!
Better to be a part of the solution rather than the problem.
You are better than you think. You don't need an invisible guy in the sky to select you for fantasy fulfillment to be important! Let a living, breathing, thinking and caring person who is REAL into your life instead.
SNAP OUT OF IT!
Do some good for yourself.
I'm pulling for you, man. I really am.