A Jesus Fish-Bone: The Life and Experiences of JCanon

by GetBusyLiving 89 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Great story JC (aka Jesus Christ?)

    Here is an interesting thread on JIOR http://www.jehovahswitnessonline.com/viewtopic.php?p=324461&sid=35bf1a2574a00f872f4926c3b7a65682

    JIOR stands for "Jehovah Is Our Righteousness." That basically addresses the secret nature of the true followers of Christ who are hiding out from Satan and his spy organizations. Because of this, they sometimes have to appear as non-Christians or do things not normally considered appropriate for the righteous people they are, say like smoking or celebrating Christmas or something like that. Otherwise, they could be easily spotted as a goody-goody-two-shoes fundamentalist type, if you get my drift. So to make up for that, Jehovah overlooks what they have to do in breaking the rules. Jehovah forgives them for their sins committed to carry out their work in anonimity. Thus they get dubbed as "Jehovah Is Our Righteousness" group, or the "JIOR."

    So Knorr was one of these.
  • Dragonlady76
    Dragonlady76

    WOW

    That'a all I can muster right now.

  • JCanon
    JCanon
    Hating somebody because an ancient book of propaganda tells you that you must is hideous! Why embrace such a book and such a mindset?

    Actually, in the Bible what we call "gay" is called a "eunuch." It is considered a gift. And eunuchs were socially expected to bond with other men for companionship. It was considered a gift because there was no intense desire for someone of the opposite sex, which saved you from marriage. But sexual urges were expected to be taken care of with masturbation. (1 Thess 4:3-8)

    In other words, when you read in the Bible about John, "the one whom Jesus loved", what do you get out of that? What were they talking about. John and Jesus were "together", if you get my drift. They were both eunuchs. They loved each other, but there was no sex because that was just beneath them. But there was nothing wrong with loving another man, even kissing each other in the mouth. There were social concepts where the lines were drawn, just as family members kiss and hug each other in ways considered inappropriate for non-relatives. In that culture, two men who were "together", in love with each others, seen as companions, were not presumed to be engaged in sex.

    But let's look at this two ways: (1) socially and (2) sexually graphically.

    (1) Socially, a straight male was not to have sex unless he was married. He was free to masturbate, however. So the sexual issue didn't come up. Some engagements might even have lasted for a few years. But if you knew you could relieve any built-up sexual tension privately, it wasn't all that much of problem. Gave you something to look forward to. Well a gay couple were like to people dating who keep postponing the wedding. The thought of dishonoring someone's chasity made a difference. In the end, especially for a holy man, the chaste mind was more enjoyable than being so focussed on the sex.

    (2) On the other hand, from a sexually graphic point of view, "gay" is a broad topic. And depending on how broadly you draw that topic can limit your sexual expression. For instance, some gay men like to be tied up and beaten. Urinated on and defecated on. Is that the wholesome "gay" state being really free means? Some gay people have sex in groups with people they don't know. Is that what is supposed to be acceptable. Stepping back a bit, we all know some play distinct roles in relationships. Some prefer being aggressive (a top) and another rather passive (a bottom). These are self-defined or at least self-realized roles each associate with themselves. But that also says there is CONTROL. That is every gay person doesn't like doing the same things. So if you have two bottoms together, not much is going to happen, is it? They may still love each other though. Plus there's the ultimate and total hypocrisy of it all any way. Let's say you're gay, you've been celibate all this time and you just can't take it any more and you're going to give in and have your first sexual experience. You go to a gay bar and there, drunk in the corner is this 86-year-old badly dressed and overweight man whose available. Great, right? Any man will do? No way! Gay desperation drastrically comes under control when age and looks are factored in. Yes, of course, you can't resist if it's a Brad Pitt lookalike who happens to be rich who wants to show you his beach house. Those are the times when it is really hard not to be gay right? But really, it's not simply homosexuality, but the attraction to beautiful man and a beautiful romance. So there are ways to manipulate the mind and sexual desire.

    On the other hand, it's quite another thing to think being "gay" or a eunuch isn't natural and try to change yourself. Now that's a lot of pain right there! But God doesn't require that. He doesn't care if you have a boyfriend and you're in love with another human. He just feels it not not necessary to play in each other's feces to express that affection and respect. Think about it.

    Hating somebody because an ancient book of propaganda tells you that you must is hideous! Why embrace such a book and such a mindset?

    You have brains and talent and humanity in you. USE IT to better yourself. Hang out with rational people. Go to a Philosophy discussion group. Visit an Objectivist Center. Become political. Throw in with artists who are creating something. Are we all not quite in control. You see a handsome guy at the end of the bar, you have a nice conversation, you decide to go out for dinner. He pulls himself down into a wheelchair and says, "C'mon, let's go, my car is right outside." Suddenly, oh gosh! An appointment you forgot about! You've gott run! In fact, "I'm LATE!" Raincheck! Oh, let me get that drink for you, it's on me! See, even if the face is pretty, we expect a whole person. Love with a cripple is not quite what our fantasy was about. Do you realize how lonely and how painful it is for those people are are imperfect in some way? They don't get the romances a lot of times. What about them? There are so many outcasts out there.

    And I sort of know both sides. As a guy I wasn't really particularly good looking. I was the typical nerd maybe. But once I put on my makeup and transformed into Diana, a whole set of people were surrounding me all of a sudden. I once knew another drag queen. Her name was "Reyna". She was tall and thin, quite nice, but a nose that wouldn't quit. It looked like a beak. She wasn't attractive. Well at some point she got plastic surgery and when that beak was gone she was a dazzling beauty! Suddenly she could get any man she wanted. Know what she told me? She was going to pour on the charm and break every man's heart she ran into as payback for all the times she got passed over when she was the ugly duckling! So you have a different perspective when you see both sides.

    And how about this! I don't know if anyone knows about Orange County, in California. That's where all the white people ran to when blacks started moving into the suburbs of LA. It was known to be a racist place and blacks always got stopped and harrassed by police. Sure, what else is old? But guess what? It's totally different if you are an attractive black woman. I actually had one white officer stop me and proposition me. And I wasn't dressed like a postitute just a woman, a suburbanite! Totally different when I happened to be in men's clothes and got questioned by police. But I learned something. There's something that divides white men and black men that isn't there between white men and black women. I suppose that barrier is not there between black men and white women -- apparently not.

    So yes, the God does care if you sodomize your boyfriend, but he doesn't care if you love him and live with him and make a vow to be a couple. And if you have urges, he expects you to work it out privately with some vaseline. That's about it.

    JC

  • JCanon
    JCanon
    JCanon, have you ever considered getting some counseling?

    Ahh, I can see you didn't quite get through my little novel... I'm a study case for the University of Hawaii. I sought help at one point for my gender dysphoria. I can't think of what prompted it, really. But I'll tell you. In those days, I always knew more about the topic than my therapist! I researched all the latest information on it. Plus I knew a lot of people who actually went through the operation. I was on hormones, the whole trip. But I never really wanted to go through with the whole thing. And I wasn't unahppy. I got a few of my questions answered. But its like finding out you have cancer and you go to a specialist and find out which kind. Great! You still have cancer. In fact I think the Hawaii taping was me explaining certain things that were going on from a semi-medical point of view. I was more honest than most. I wasn't just there to get hormones or drugs. But I might have been exceptional. You see, when you take female hormones, your breasts swell up. The hormones kinda make you crazy, sort of like a woman on her period I guess. But then after that, you're calm. But inevitably you get off and you sort of go through a withdrawal and your breasts shrink down. Well at one point my body started producing its own hormones and my breasts kept growing on their own. So it's kinda embarrassing I have these breasts now, which are just a lad bit too large for a sagging aged old man... In his days Judah will be saved, and Israel itself will reside in security. And this is his name with which he will be called, Jehovah Is Our Righteousness.” 16 In those days Judah will be saved and Jerusalem itself will reside in security. And this is what she will be called, Jehovah Is Our Righteousness.’” So these secret members are like hiding out from the WTS goon squad who are always on the outlook for them. Because they have to have secret lives, in order not to be spotted, they are allowed to break some of God's laws. For doing that, they depend on Jehovah to accord to them approval and thus they are called "Jehovah Is Our Righteousness." For instance, witnesses are known not to celebrate Christmas. If someone out there is not celebrating Christmas then that's a red flag, right? Or if someone is always reading the Bible and studying religious things in the library and never goes out to any bars, then they become suspect. So they celebrate Christmas and bar hop and do things not expected for the goodie-goodie-two-shoes they really are. So they remain invisible for the most part. You can't tell who they are by their behavior. A very high concentration of the JIOR is in Korea of all places! Not sure if they are pretending to be Christians or witnesses either. So its very mystical. Very secretive. They bring me lots of research and I answer lots of inquires for them. That's why I know the VAT4956 and the SK400 are not accidental. Both contain references to the original chronology. Likely Jehovah inspired Jews who were astronomers back then to create these texts and hide those references to prove what the original chronology is, if only to just get past the rhetoric and suppressed or destroyed records. I'm the one who discovered the two "errors" in the VAT4956 matched the original chronology. Only by accident. I just happened to have had my program turned to that position and checked on another reference and remembered that's the position of the moon on that date from the text. I couldn't believe it. When I checked the second "error" it was precisely in place as well. It's too profound not to have been set up for revelation in the end-times. And who knows what other original documents are being held in secret? But others know or believe these documents likely exist, so obviously they are looking for them, perhaps in hopes of controlling them before they go public. Obviously, they can't prevent it. That's what the JIOR is. A lot of "holy ones" out there pretending to be big-time sinners! JC

  • eclipse
    eclipse

    JC, I loved reading about your life story, it made my heart ache and leap at the same time.

    Thank you so much for being the brave person that you are and sharing it with us.

    You have had a very interesting life! I feel that you are happy, and that makes me feel good.

    I am glad that you can feel free to be gay and not feel guilt.

    Guilt has been the oppresive tool used by religions and I am sick of it.

    Your description of eunuchs makes sense. I enjoy reading the bible from your perspective. Jesus being gay?

    Well it talked alot about him loving this certain desciple so who I am to say that you are wrong?

    The only thing I disagreed with in your entire post, (I read this entire thread), was that satan killed the billions. To me, it was god who did so. The few mentioned in Job that satan killed was done with god's approval. So if you could shed some biblical light on where it states specifically why it was satan who killed billions, I'd really appreciate that! if you do not mind, of course.

    You are a very special individual. I have never met anyone like you and I have a feeling I never will.

    Wishing you all the best on your journey to wherever you are going,

    -eclipse

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  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo

    Fascinating reading JCanon - thanks for sharing.

  • JCanon
    JCanon

    Thanks, Eclipse, for your kind words. Sometimes when I look back at my life, which I don't do often, I see all the pain and it amazes me what I was going through. And so much of it due to the WTS too! It's great to be free of that system. I'm fortunate.

    The only thing I disagreed with in your entire post, (I read this entire thread), was that satan killed the billions. To me, it was god who did so. The few mentioned in Job that satan killed was done with god's approval. So if you could shed some biblical light on where it states specifically why it was satan who killed billions, I'd really appreciate that! if you do not mind, of course.

    In this regard, Satan played the part of catalyst to get Eve, who was deceived, to eat the fruit. Satan likely calculated that likely she would get Adam to eat it. I don't think they were mature sexually either. At any rate, once Adam was condemned to death, all his minor children and potential descendants were condemned to death as well. So the death of Adam was seen as also the death of all his potential children. Thus if Adam was killed right then then none of his children would have been born.

    God had the choice to do that if he wanted and just kill Satan and start over. But there would have been lots of loose ends, and some of the wicked angels who wanted to side with Satan as well. So the BIG PICTURE was to devise a way to get rid of Satan and all the angels as well. So basically God just raised the bar a bit and required all creatures to be put to death. In that way, Satan would undergo the naturally decreed death like any other creature and there would be no legal issue over life and death. The good angels and Christ were willing to do this out of love for the Father. Only thing is, while the penalty for sin was DEATH, death isn't that effective if it is temporary. I mean, you could die in your sleep for 7 out of the 8 hours you're sleep at night and what effect would it have? So only permanent, eternal death has that incredible sting. The arrangement was, that after God ended the temporary life of every angel, then he could bring back those he wanted to. Satan would literally never get a "wake-up call"! So that's one side of the issue.

    The other was to minimize Satan's efforts in regard to having killed all of Adam's potential children. Instead of just starting with another Adam and Eve, he decided to establish a way to rescue Adam's children. That solution was for them to be adopted by a sinless father which would give them a right to life. In order to do that, Adam's children, over 6000 years would have to be born, even though they would eventually die before Judgment Day. So that's why all the imperfection, sickness and a period where Satan would be able to influence mankind and mankind could rule themselves. Then for 1000 years, there would be a rest from that, a sabbath, where Christ would rule. Then Satan would be let loose to test mankind that had lived under Christ's rule. After that, Judgment Day transpires and notes are compared and those found acceptable will get life, those clearly opposed to God's arrangement would undergo the second death in the lake of fire.

    Regardless, all that was done was done to save YOU. God could see YOU, personally, or potentially before you were born and decided it made a big difference if you had a second chance at life.

    The Bible calls Satan a "manslayer from the beginning."

    JC

  • JCanon
    JCanon

    Thanks, everyone, for your kind words about my sharing. It wasn't necessarily easy. But I think some wanted to see maybe more of the personal side. I'm like so many others, a JW reject, damaged goods. So I think we all share that.

    You know, someone suggested I post at some other boards. I have. But it occurred to me I should probably seek out a gay JW discussion group to see how other gay JW are coping. Does anybody know of any active ones?

    There was one incident where two gay lovers came into the truth. They stopped having sex, of course. But the local congregation wanted them to stop sharing their living arrangement. Problem was, one of them was dying of AIDS and his ex-lover was all he had. They were both in the truth and not having sex but still the elders insisted they couldn't live together. I found that tragic.

    Also part of my tragedy is that if you're gay and get disfellowshipped for that, then the whole community finds out about it. People who would not know otherwise. It's like outing you to the whole community. And you NEVER live that down. In the congregation it's always an issue if I'm in the bathroom, say alone with some youth. I'm always worried about working out in the field service with some young male, especially if he's good looking, because of the worries of the brothers. Gays are considered just one step away from being a pedophile. Interesting, that it seems others in the congregations are doing more of the abuse than anyone who happens to be gay. Then there was the AIDS scare at one time. I got an AIDS test and presented it to the brothers just so people wouldn't panic if I was around. So what it boiled down to was I couldn't move on. It was always something I would be living down, only I would never live it down. Well, perhaps if I got married again, but that is truly a mistake.

    So maybe if some struggling gay witnesses were assured the WTS has been disfellowshipped, they could free themselves and find their own way and seek their own conscience before Jehovah if they still want to believe the Bible, and in God, etc.

    Thanks, again, for the kind comments.

    JC

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Ditto on the WoW!

    *look at those Tina Turner legs!*

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