Knew one guy who only ever entered one female till his 40's but had never been in love and so wanted out but religious conditioning had his brain in such a washed out space he couldn't stray even when forcing himself into situations - trying to break out of the unhappy daily gloom of personal space living. Only thing that would ever work is a woman letting him know she wanted him and him knowing he felt the same. Whether a one night situation or a relationship - there has to be a mutual exchange of interest. Trouble is some need a very obvious show of interest because the usual ones regular society know about are a different language to those who've been stuck in isolation for years on end. So cheating is a complex issue. There are those who could and won't, those who want to but don't know how, those who just don't know what they want so will try all sorts coz life is short and those who won't try anything because God will smack them into oblivion or because of fear of disease or others opinions - i.e. fear of doing what they feel. Qn would all men prefer sex with several partners if it was socially acceptable? What does the human spirit seek sexually, if it is healthy and available?
Do all men cheat?
by Save My Soul 151 Replies latest jw friends
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beksbks
Ok 5go, maybe I should have put it more like this. If you are cheating at a game of cards, you are breaking the established rules for the game you are playing. I assume that most people talking about spouses, know them well enough to know what the parameters of their relationship are. Whatever those parameters might be. I still think it boils down to mutual respect.
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beksbks
There are those who could and won't, those who want to but don't know how, those who just don't know what they want so will try all sorts coz life is short and those who won't try anything because God will smack them into oblivion or because of fear of disease or others opinions - i.e. fear of doing what they feel.
You forgot the only one that actually matters in my book. Those who won't because of the pain it would cause their partner.
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purplesofa
For men that want to cheat I suggest watching this
and for women that have straying men............ROCK ON!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSG4Cml7HXs
Carrie Underwood~Before He Cheats
purps
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R.Crusoe
It is more complex than mutual respect! When you slaved for the WT you had lots of respect! It's when what they deem respect for you isn't what you expected that it goes ape****. That's the problem with human pair bonds - each thinks they know what they're getting into, unless they're vulnerable at the time in which case they just go along coz life is suffocating! As life unfolds some don't see a way out and just wait for opportunities - existing. Fallout is what you often see in cheating. The alternative types are the game players who've maybe been playing the game since puberty! They tune in to what they like and take it thinkin grown up is comin so maybe they do that a while before realizin they had it too good in the first place. So they play ball when the grass is green. Or maybe they're the ones who learn most about mutual respect because they've trialed real life void of responsibility - they know real love and real passion and extremes of human experience. Complex! You may be surprised who are the happier aged if you had time to chat to them all. The ones with fewest regrets and most friends and respect of others!
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Twitch
anewme, well said.
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sweetstuff
Ok I have to make a point here about all these people crying love isn't "ownership". Ok, let's see here...you love your kids but someone else comes along and says hey, I can raise them better, they are going to live with me from now on. How many parents would say, well I don't "own them" and if you are going to do a better job, I'll happily go along, as long as the kids are happy? Yeah, right! I'd love to see anyone reply that they would go along with that, "because they love their kids, but don't own them".
Expecting fidelity in your partner is not exacting ownership over them. As for marriage being a 'friendship', umm, do you sleep with your friends? I don't. Do you call your buddy Joe up and say, hey how bout a cuddle and a spooning before bed hun? Nah, didn't think so. I am so sick of people suggesting that marriage and relationships are just another friendship. What a crock of baloney! A romantic relationship is alot more than a "friendship" and I think most people know that, going into it. If you screwed your buddy Joe over a money deal, would you still expect him to be your friend? But its different when your spouse expects you to sleep with them and them alone?
In an unhappy relationship, you have two choices, fix it, or get out. Adding someone or persons into the mix by cheating is not only unfair to the unknowing spouse, its risking their lives. Condoms don't protect against all diseases. And I noticed a few posters mentioning that fidelity and ownership are something that's "indotrinated" into our minds. Good thing, otherwise there would be even more unwanted babies, more disease and more broken marriages. Sex has consquences, its not a harmless, benign pastime that has no side effects. Sure it feels great, but if we all went around saying pffttt to any responsibility for our own actions and lack of self-control, would humanity be better off or worse?
Not only do people's emotions get hurt, people's lives get cut short, I know of someone who contracted aids from his unfaithful wife. Guess it was his problem though right? He didn't "own" her after all. She had no responsibility to maintain the vows she took, right?
If expecting that my spouse or partner is faithful means I expect to "own" him. Bring it on, I'll own him alright, because I am not risking my life for anyone who isn't willing to give me fidelity. I have two kids to live for, to raise. If that makes me somehow a selfish person, so bloodywell be it. Would I care if he flirted in a joking way with another woman, nope, I do that myself. Big whoopy. Would I care if he kissed another woman, umm, hell ya, he had better be saving all his loving for me, or he can go elsewhere. Not because I "own him" but because I love myself enough to expect to receive what I am willing to give. Faithfulness.
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Twitch
Sweetstuff, i like the cut of your jib, so to speak. Well said as well.
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Superfine Apostate
the points you make may be valid for sexual relations (while some of your points may be questioned though). they don't apply to the broad sense you stuff into the term "cheating" though.
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sweetstuff
Sweetstuff, i like the cut of your jib, so to speak. Well said as well.
Thank you, Twitch.