Do all men cheat? (page 9)

Outaservice

I cheated when playing 'Bible Cards' once.............does that count?

Outaservice

5go

Ok 5go, maybe I should have put it more like this. If you are cheating at a game of cards, you are breaking the established rules for the game you are playing. I assume that most people talking about spouses, know them well enough to know what the parameters of their relationship are. Whatever those parameters might be. I still think it boils down to mutual respect.

Considering communication is lacking in most marriages and relationships, I bet most couples don't communicate the rules with each other very well.

Which is why honoring the contractual agreement to stay together is more important with marriages, hence why catholics and other denominations typically do not recognize divorce on any grounds period despite the biblical OK. Remember your normal run of the mill wedding vows don't give an out for adultery, or anything period; only death.

avishai

if cheating also includes kissing/touching .... whatever ... who is not your partner, i'm guilty.
In my books, that is cheating, period.

Looks like we have the same books!

5go

The problem I see with cheating is not that people have sex with people other than their mate that is normal human instinctual behavior. It is their mate who promised with a contract to be with them no matter how flawed, or imperfect they were. Then proceeds to dump them at the first sign of an imperfection with out giving a chance to fix it. That is more wrong than the act it's self in my opinion.

BTW I do not condone an abuse which can in my opinion be continual adultery without consent from one's mate. Which leads usualy leads the guilty party to leave them first anyway. Which is truely cheating in my opinion.

sweetstuff

The problem I see with cheating is not that people have sex with people other than their mate that is normal human instinctual behavior. It is their mate who promised with a contract to be with them no matter how flawed, or imperfect they were. Then proceeds to dump them at the first sign of an imperfection with out giving a chance to fix it. That is more wrong than the act it's self in my opinion.
BTW I do not condone an abuse which can in my opinion be continual adultery without consent from one's mate. Which leads usualy leads the guilty party to leave them first anyway. Which is truely cheating in my opinion.

Crossing 5ago off my eligible bachelor list right now. I feel so much better, so if my mate cheats only once and I catch something, I shouldn't be mad or hurt because he's "only human" and "following his natural instinctual behavior" right? Btw, in the marriage vows, you vow to forsake all others and to be physically only with your mate, so that person has in fact broken the contract that he/she agreed to by such action. And legal courts agree with that, as do many religious bodies. Funny how you place the blame on the party that did not cheat for ending such a relationship, very interesting.

Gregor

I've been loyal to my wife for 16 years. Don't try to take away the odd fantasy!

The "odd fantasy" Mr. Straight Arrow calls it! This whole thread is a hoot. LOL. Some of the posters will need to visit their chiropractors to get the knots out of their rationalizations.

5go

Crossing 5ago off my eligible bachelor list right now. I feel so much better, so if my mate cheats only once and I catch something, I shouldn't be mad or hurt because he's "only human" and "following his natural instinctual behavior" right? Btw, in the marriage vows, you vow to forsake all others and to be physically only with your mate, so that person has in fact broken the contract that he/she agreed to by such action. And legal courts agree with that, as do many religious bodies. Funny how you place the blame on the party that did not cheat for ending such a relationship, very interesting.

Right back dear I said I wouldn't marry and if I did it would be an open one. Which means the commitment to love each and stay together trumps fidelity in my books.

5thGeneration

The Sex threads are always popular!

I stand by my position...

Keep your rocket in your pocket Mr. Spaceman...

But having occasional fantasies that your wife even knows about is pretty harmless.

R.Crusoe

As a child I was the eldest of 5 at 11 with no dad who died! I always played fair to my mind in spite of much stress (foggy years for me) but some of my siblings would go apeshit if they didn't win at something so I often let them. Some would even trash a whole game - cards, paper money etc up to the ceiling just on the bum roll of dice and storm out. And I had to clear it before mum came home - without exception. So looking back at life I wonder if some are slowly conditioned by the 'big time' parent to have a winners 'gene' which will take what it can, when it can, how it can, so long as somebody else is the loser and they can look upon and feel smug at sayin, 'You loser.' That's what I saw - the thrill of the win and the purring at the loser! Emotionally drugged. I wondered about how much of the adult world is played out in the playgrounds of the child's world. I see lots of stuff like this. And wonderin if mum had me like a slave coz she had a problem with men in her childhood who let women do it. Sorta puttin me right for the next generation woman and teachin her daughters to do opposite. Makes me wonder. So I'm a guy who tells a woman if I just wanna be friends, no doubts she will know this whatsoever!! And if I know I'm looking for someone else and if I don't think it's working and won't keep a woman hitched just so I can play away. I'm not a cheat who leads a woman on and would never consciously 'use her' but I'm not well experienced so I'm still learning albeit too late! If a woman is cool to be friends then so am I coz I have zero'd that part of my life too often. I'd love to have had a woman for life who felt as I do and we both clicked - but like religion - never happened - it's got messy and I don't know where the future lies apart from day to day. When kids are in the equation it's another ball park coz the odds are in her favor and if a guy wants any part in his childrens lives he has to stick it out at great personal cost one way or another. Imagine the lengths a woman would go to if most children were awarded to the father. She would cheat and lie till the cows come home to stay near her kids whilst being with a guy she'd rather not be with! Humanity - the greatest complicators of a simple solution = Honest Compassionate Communication!

5go

I feel so much better, so if my mate cheats only once and I catch something, I shouldn't be mad or hurt because he's "only human" and "following his natural instinctual behavior" right?

If your husband wrecks the car killing someone, and blames it on you is it any better? What if he seeks forgiveness, and makes does up for it? Are you still going to leave him?

If some does something you do not like, then seeks reconciliation, will you reconcile? If not, don't marry you won't like it much.

Do all men cheat?

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