by oompa 81 Replies latest jw friends
This thread is sad.
A@G hit the nail on the head. Spiritual enemies. Can anything be any sadder than that? Your spouse is supposed to be in your corner. But when you put the WT in the mix, of course you know who comes out on top.
God, I hate them. The GB members and corporations are worshipped far more than Christ by their followers. It makes me sick.
Thankfully, my man is agnostic. It's better than a rabid JW.
Oompa, I've only read your post, so forgive me if I repeat more here. What you propose is basically a non-acceptance of her and her love for you. That's the worst thing you could do. Why not just accept her love and accept her as a JW? You said it yourself: you've changed, not her. She's stayed and accepts that you've left the organization--even shows it--but for some reason you're not accepting her? the person who hasn't changed? Cut the bullshit, man. A test of ones' love does not mean changing ones' self. If you give her this ultimatum, you've done something that can't be easily repaired.
OK, after reading the rest of the posts on this thread--yes, I agree, there's a point when enough's enough and you have to move on. If my wife trully saw me as a spiritual enemy--I wouldn't know what to say. I wouldn't want to stay, that's for sure. But at the same time, I can't expect her to follow me and change herself just because she loves me--that's not love. Love is acceptance. And if we can't accept each other, than there's nothing to do but move on.
Asking your mate to consider your side is like her asking you to consider hers. At some point you have to come to terms with what IS ,not what you want it to be. I think your wife is saying she loves you no matter what. Can you say the same to her?????
changeling :)
You may find the following of interest as you consider what you can/should do:
www.lancs.ac.uk/fass/sociology/papers/holden-doing-tolerance.pdf
OUTLAW:
Your wife loves you more often..
Dang it OUTLAW! Can't you see this is a frikkin SERIOUS thread! I have been at work all day and have only gotten to read 7 or eight replys so far....This one did crack me up though!
I said she SAYS she loves me more OUTLAW.......so still only once a day..................oompa
And also dang funny second post OUTLAW... Your on a roll today....But you wife did not weigh that much when I ate her....and she liked it!
I don't think you should divorce.
After all, she probably doesn't see you as an "evil apostate" or "spiritual enemy". Be a good Christian man and show her that "worldly" people can be loving and wonderful. To end your marriage over a religious belief would be silly. Either you love her or you don't. Go to a marriage counselor and work it out.
Fight, dammit! Don't give up!
seeking help:First, thank you for this thread.. my god this hits home.
The level of commitment is unbelievable, there is pain on both sides. It doesn't seem fair and its not I guess.
I hope to work out my issues as well and get valuable insite from this board.
good luck..
First WELCOME to JWD!...You would not believe how often this topic or one similar is discussed here...we are far from alone. Enjoy expressing yourself openly and freely here, and you will find "the truth that will set you free" (barf). And we will all need the Good Luck! (dontcha jus luv sayin that!)
Thanks here go also to my twin OTWO who has contributed sooo much to this thread, and the inspirational seeker4 as well. No wonder you work out like hell with that new hottie wife eh seeker??? How much younger....do tell please....did not realize you hung in there as long as you did btw........great post!
Switch you angel: Upon seeing the total misuse of quoting outside sources, that was another story. That settled it for me that if they had to stoop to misquoting sources, then their intentions were NOT in my best interests, did not bring honor to any God, and qualified as lying - which God hates (supposedly).I gave my hubby a chance to show me what upset him so much because I knew it was our whole family's future at stake. So, like previous posters have said, there has to be some trust extended.
Does your wife still see you read WT literature? If so, then maybe you can help her prepare for the upcoming WT article (june 9 -15) Young People, Remember Your Grand Creator Now. It has the Oct. 1, 2005 WT article (about education) in the footnote. So look up the misquotes from the box at the end. I know the Newsweek and American Educator articles are on their own websites. If you need a link, let me know.
If your wife can rationalize those lies without creating doubt, then I'd love to know how she does that. Does she usually trust people that lie to her? And how much could they actually have right since they can't even write a simple article about education without bias and misquoting? Just some thoughts to ask her.
I always love finding out what does for others! Please plug me into the misquote info...know very little about it. I love the highlite above...that is what I am hoping for exactly...but in depth...it will have to be to really get in there. I only read WT lit here, but try to keep up. So how is married life now with the new freedom?.........Thanks much........oompa
WokeupGilead: non-JW. But the "worldly" people that I am meeting I do let them know that I am an XJW (it's hard not to talk about when it's been your whole life for 35 years). So it would be uncomfortable for my wife to be there as I am explaining how JWs really are and my wife will hate this. So we really cannot do anything socially together.
If you can slow down a bit....and you may not need or want to...you will have options. Once you stop the highlighted area, (and you better quick cause it REALLY will get old for them), then your wife MAY be open to some evil worldly association and even with faded dubs. For one thing, you can insist that she goes with you and has a good time, and see if she still believes in good ol stupid headship. This type of association devoid of JW truthtelling is not a sin for her so why would she not want to meet your friends???? Oh thats right, you and your friends are part of the Dark Side, and you may want to lose that Vader costume..................thanks man....keep in touch and may God bless.....ha.....oompa
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...OUTLAW