Do I take it from what you both say you went into Jw's without knowing what you were baptising yourselves into? I knew they were asking a more moral strict line and their publications and teachings would all reflect it, It isn't an easy path to walk but when I failed I blamed myself only.
Well, I for one can answer, "No, I did not know what I was 'baptizing myself into'". I was lead to believe that as a jw in a jw marriage that I would be treated with respect and kindness, that my husband would at least try to love me as Christ loved the congregation. I did not sign on for physical abuse and threats to my life, yet that's what I got from a jw husband and was told to accept it by the jw elders. I was advised by them that I could divorce but that in order to be totally free of him, I would have to wait around to see if he would choose to commit adultery or murder. So, no I didn't sign on for that. I also didn't sign on for the loss of my family.
I'm pretty sure others who have experienced the high control of the WB&TS didn't sign on for the nonsense that they were put through either, but now you have the audacity to attack a person who had the misfortune of marrying someone who is controlled by the cult! You make the same mistake that other jws do, they confuse God with the WB&TS. Just because you are self-loathing enough to set yourself up to fail the fake standards of the governing body doesn't mean that anyone else has to. I'm pretty sure most UBMs would jump for joy if their jw spouses joined a religion that didn't involve itself with cover ups of child molestation, wife battering and hypocritical political entanglements. I'm also pretty sure that most UBMs would love to have a spouse that truly follows the example of Christ and not a bunch of old guys in Brooklyn.