I have no special insight or advice to offer except to say that youre not alone. I am a recently divorced born in who was in exactly the same situation you are in. In order to keep my sanity I had to get to the point consider everything pretty much lost as every friend and family that I have known. I had to come to a point of acceptance. I would say the low point came when it was my family and childhood friends who came and helped her move her things, as my young nieces and nephews stood in the distance, forbidden to say a word.
I didn't mind that so much, because she was a great person and even today even I would help her in any way I could. But as they all laughed and chatted on the front lawn, not one word was spoken to me except the occasional no eye contact "excuse me" as the furniture was packed into the moving van. There was no telling what kind of scoundrel and lowlife my neighbors must believe me to be to have my family and friends come to assist her while saying not a word to me. It must have looked awkward and strange. I would have tried to explain about jws and all, but what would be the point. So now I live as my own cheerleeder, my own friend, and the person who tells me that I'm not the evil person every person I have known believes me to be. I will never forget that day.
So now I have to make a conscious effort to get out, meet people, learn how to make friends and how to be a friend. If I could offer one observation, the experience will definitely show you that you are a stronger being than you ever thought you were or needed to be, and that is the case whatever you decide to do. To make it through leaving the jws for any person is a courageous and extraordinary thing. As a born in, to lose friends and family and to start over, that makes you a special person. You will find your way. This too, shall pass.
PM me if you need.
