well dear oompa - you have a difficult decision ahead of you. You got to be true and honest to you and her. Whatever your decision is, be 100% accepting/confident of it.
the high cost of divorcing a JW............
by oompa 89 Replies latest social relationships
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quietlyleaving
it sounds to me like you do love your wife. Sometimes it helps just to stop thinking
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FlyingHighNow
Don't have time to read the rest of the thread. But are you getting a divorce?
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digderidoo
If you are the one instigating the divorce it can be deadly.
I left my ex wife 11 years ago. Everyone who i grew up with looked down upon me with judgement. Nobody knew what went on between us and my reasons for leaving, the crux of it was i felt suicidal and leaving her was such a weight lifted off my shoulders. But her family is a big JW family, so they made sure i looked the bad boy. Mad thing is they did the same with my sister in law too, who left my ex's brother around the same time. Rumours went around that both of us were seeing other people and having affairs, all lies. But what can you do when stories like that get circulated. Stories went around that i never seen my children, again lies i had them every weekend. Stories went around that i didn't financially support them, lies. They did everything to paint me as the bad guy, yet what nobody knew was that my ex wife was an extremely angry and abusive woman.
Within the JW community divorce is looked down upon, it's not meant to happen. So if you're the one instigating it, it's a long road, or it was for me. It was worth it though, in my opinion it's wrong to live a life that just doesn't make either of you happy. My ex is on her third now, she's happy, probably happier than when we were first together, so i am pleased for her. I too am in a happy place, so in the long run it did work out, i wouldn't want to go back to the sort of relationship i had with her.
Paul
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oompa
Post 14660 of 14661
Since 9/27/2003Don't have time to read the rest of the thread. But are you getting a divorce?
i am so trying to figure this out...what i can deal with...what i can give up........what i can live with...or without.......i really need you guys BAD for a few days....weeks....months......oompa
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insearchoftruth
Oompa,
I can relate to this, there are some days all is very well, and then other days that this path is definitely thought about.....my wife has not done a bs or gone to the meetings in almost a month, but now when I called home, she said she will call me back...so I know she is presently having her 'personal bible study'....so most likely she will be all dubbed up.
Just this past Sunday she blew off the meeting to go to a movie.....how things can change.
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oompa
LouBelle: well dear oompa - you have a difficult decision ahead of you. You got to be true and honest to you and her. Whatever your decision is, be 100% accepting/confident of it.
to be true would kill her maybe?.......i hate hurting...........may not be able to..........100% may take awhile...........oompa
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Satanus
'to be true would kill her maybe?'
No. Women are much tougher, emotionally, than men are. Just be sure of what you really wanna do.
S
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oompa
LouBelle: Whatever your decision is, be 100% accepting/confident of it.
that is sooo damm hard to do....Dr. Laura a talk show psychiatrist say to lay off for TWO YEARS before getting into another relationship........now i think that is a bit much......but esp if two people are totally messed up..........and meeting.........that may be good advice.............oomps
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insearchoftruth
to be true would kill her maybe?.......i hate hurting...........
Same here Oompa, I wish I could better speak my mind, but I really do not like to hurt as well.....and anything I say anti JW tends to hurt.
What I am hoping is that she sees how disfunctional her JW family is and realizes that a lot of it is due to the association with the WTS.....