purps...and everybody...thanks so much........i am still a mess though..............just wanted purps to know i am really not an assole..............you can ask redredrose..........and olin moyle.and bonzzo.....and wings.......and others........oompa........
the high cost of divorcing a JW............
by oompa 89 Replies latest social relationships
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purplesofa
I know you are appreciative
I honestly hate to see you so torn for most of the time I have seen you on the board.
Find the places in your life that ARE positive, make those places your haven.
Focus your energy there, possibly some other stuff won't seem quit so overwhelming.
I am not wanting to discount anything you are going through.
But divorce is about what's going on with you and your wife.
Every other problem will be magnified when your marriage is messed up.
I know you are going to a marriage counsellor, or were, are you still going?
purps
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bonnzo
oompa......otwo had some good advice for you. hope you'll listen. purps, too. you don't really want a divorce. if you did, you wouldn't need evreybody's permission, which it seems you need. at least our approval. if you really wanted a divorce, you'd just get one. you have a good wife who adores you and is willing to put up with you without any grief, no pressure to attend meetings, service, etc. she looks good and your kids love her. what the hell else do you want?
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bonnzo
no, oompa is not an asshole. just really confused now. you have plenty of positves in your life now. do as purps says, make them your haven. if you constantly think about and bitch about what you don't have(and who here couldn't), you'll be miserable all the time. its up to you. if you need to talk, you know how to find me. just remember, i got to get up another damn talk tomorrow. don't tell tyrone van whoever, dont want to piss him off
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cameo-d
Oompa,
Why not spend some time together on neutral ground?
I think it would be fun to hear about Oompa's yoga experiences. Why don't you take a class with her?
From there, it could possibly lead to some books on yoga meditations. That could open up new discussions about spirituality that is not WT related.
It could be an opportunity for the two of you to begin growth in a new direction. But take it slow.
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OUTLAW
I still can`t believe JW`s can take Yoga in N/C..But..Oompa says it`s so!..N/C must be the only place Demons can`t get you,doing Yoga!!..LOL!!..........................
...OUTLAW -
Olin Moyles Ghost
I second everything bonnzo said above. And I'm not minimizing your situation. But think about this. Your basic human needs (food, clothing, shelter) are cared for. You've taken care of that because you're smart and a hard worker. That's something to be proud of. Also, you've got some real friends who care about you unconditionally. So, from where I'm sitting, you've got a lot going for you. You've got a beach house for Christ's sake!
Maybe my position is the minority view, but I think divorce is a bad thing all around and should only be viewed as a last resort. In fact, it is my personal view (and I'm not trying to step on anybody's toes here) that divorce is only appropriate in cases of (1) adultery or (2) abuse. I guess I'm old-fashioned, but I think that when you make a promise you should keep it.
It may be that Mrs. Oompa will always be a JW. She doesn't force you to do JW stuff, and I know that you guys have other non-JW things that you like to do. So, focus on that. Oompa, you have a good life. You have opportunities that lots of your peers don't have. Yes, your life isn't perfect, but nobody's is.
Your friend,
OMG
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LouBelle
okay oompa, let me tell you something now - she will not keel over and die! Will she be hurt? yes! Will she be extremely upset? yes! Will she scream and carry on? more than likely! Will she hate you? she just may!
Will she die? NO.
You need to pull yourself towards yourself. Stop the drama and start sorting out the mess! One step at a time.
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LouBelle
okay oompa, let me tell you something now - she will not keel over and die! Will she be hurt? yes! Will she be extremely upset? yes! Will she scream and carry on? more than likely! Will she hate you? she just may!
Will she die? NO.
You need to pull yourself towards yourself. Stop the drama and start sorting out the mess! One step at a time.
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LouBelle
There is nothing worse than being in limbo and being undecided. You can either carry on living as your are, make your peace with it, accept it for what it is and make it the best ghod damn life you have or you can leave your wife, go through the divorce, accept that for what it is and move on.
Am I being harsh?
...OUTLAW