Oompa, I still need to speak to you about that beach house....
the high cost of divorcing a JW............
by oompa 89 Replies latest social relationships
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oompa
guys....i am such a mess now........the beach cottage is there if you want it.......... but i am really a fukkin mess now............really.......a
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Quirky1
The main thing to worry about is staying close to your children, and helping them cope with the new circumstance. Also a big key - stay dignified and don't go around to your or her friends badmouthing an ex-wife . It makes you look like the bigger, more classy person if you just move on
Oompa, I've never been thru a divorce but Flip has some good advice. This is what one of my relatives told me too...
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oompa
so women are tougher? ......show me some proof........i know i must be a wuss..........
ithinkiknow...whatiwannado......butwillidowhatireallyneedtoneedtodo???????????
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OnTheWayOut
.......but only us born-in dubs.......lose all friends and family.....that is a lot to deal with.....it scares me..........
You mean only born-in dubs lose all friends and family when it isn't their fault? Others might lose them
when they were actually the scum of the earth to cheat on such a wonderful spouse. In-law and blood
family will do the same when it comes to divorcing within the JW's. "How could you do this to a faithful
member and to Jehovah? Jehovah hates a divorcing. You are evil, wrong, apostate, outta my life."I understand what you are saying. I wish I could tell you a way to make sure you don't lose all your
JW friends and JW family. But that would involve staying within the JW rules, or at least appearing to
do so.You don't live with your family. You don't live with your friends. You do live with your spouse. Make your
decisions based on your home, spouse, situation at home. While it sucks to lose what you don't deserve
to lose, you will probably get the same loss even if you never divorce. Sooner-or-later, the JW's will see
a problem. They will either shun you or they won't, not based on proper reasoning, but based on JW stuff.I managed to get to a point of peace with my JW wife. We have unconditional love and let each other do
what we feel we must do- although we both disagree with each other's decisions. To be able to maintain
such a delicate situation, I do not force ex-JW's into OUR lives, but I visit with them on the side. It's not
like I am cheating anymore, because I don't hide what I do. Still, I am limited. But I don't sleep with/
live with the ex-JW's in my life (some might be worth sleeping with- JK666 is kinda cute- just kidding) so I
based my decisions to work things out on what I want in my daily life for me. I find more happiness in my
life WITH my JW wife than without it. If that were not true, I would choose otherwise despite all the
consequences.If you must have people in your life and the wife won't allow those people, either force the issue or decide
how to free yourself. If her love and physical pleasures and company are greater than your other desires
for your life, then try to work it out. Don't let losing "it all" be your factor. It is a serious consideration.
But weigh it all out. Is your daily happiness impossible in the current situation, but is it possible if you
lose everybody JW in your life to find daily happiness? Some would be miserable without Mom or Dad or
their adult children in their lives. Others recognize that they can't live in silence about WTS just to
maintain relationships.You have inspired me. My wife wants to visit JW's all the time. I don't stop her, but she would never
visit ex-JW's with me. So, if I don't want to do so, I will feel freer than before to explain that to her and
avoid the JW's. Thanks for the inspiration. -
Homerovah the Almighty
Of course the easiest route would be for her to accept the newly found integrity that you yourself have found.
Then both of you can walk together as one heart and soul.
It would be in her own best interest and her marriage to you to see what are the good points of this religion and there are noticeable desirable things that
are indeed beneficial , but also to realize the harmful aspects of this faith as many individuals have endured for many years.
Its not any ones place to say yeah go ahead and divorce and thats the only solution to your personal problem.
Thats wholly up to your consideration and endeavor and should be thought out carefully for the now and the future.
Analise the situation carefully for yourself and your wife and do not mention everything that is going on in your mind, in other words
take it slow and methodically in your direction............Take care HTA
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sspo
After 26 years of marriage and wife left due to "apostacy" on my part, it was hard financially but very happy not to cope
with my ex looking at me as the right hand of Satan.
I feel sorry for her, she lost a good husband and has no relationship with her 3 daughters and fleshly sisters that left the organization.
It is harder getting a divorce as a jw but also a big releif not living as a slave of the watchtower
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Quirky1
Wow! I never thought of it that way...
It is harder getting a divorce as a jw but also a big releif not living as a slave of the watchtower
Interesting...
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oompa
otwo: You have inspired me. My wife wants to visit JW's all the time. I don't stop her, but she would never
visit ex-JW's with me. So, if I don't want to do so, I will feel freer than before to explain that to her and
avoid the JW's. Thanks for the inspiration.it would not quote right simon.....i tried three times.......but damm....otwo...........i do not inspire......wtf are you talking about???......oompa
