Hi I hope i am welcome

by cantleave 188 Replies latest jw friends

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  Scarred for life

  Hi cantleave, you are in the right place and you are welcome. I was a born-in. All of my mother's family were and are JWs.

  As a born-in, the people that I am concerned about the most is your children. I know that you are concerned also because you have stated that. But I just want to remind you to think about them every hour of the day and what raising them in the JW cult is doing to them. They look to you and your wife as their spiritual teachers. They believe what you say.

  Even if you are only taking them to meetings and assemblies and what they are hearing is coming from the platform and not from you, they are listening to every word and they are afraid. Just the fact that you take them to these meetings means to them that you are condoning what is being taught there. They are afraid, they are ostracized at school, they feel like total weirdos, they wish they could have a birthday party and a Christmas tree. They want to get an education and become successful adults.

  I urge you to be as honest as you can possibly be with your children and of course your wife about your doubts and your personal study and what you are discovering. Do not delay being open with them. Your children will respect you for it. They will appreciate the fact that you are concerned about their lives and spirituality and psyche.

  Do not think for one moment that your children have probably not already noticed a change in your attitude. They will notice before anyone else.

  I know what I am talking about. I lived through this myself as a child. My father had doubts and internal conflict about the JWs for the last 10 years of his life. That would have been when I was about 11. He died unexpectedly when I was 21 without ever verbalizing his doubts to me or my sister. We just knew from the change in his meeting attendance and field service attendance among other reasons.

  Don't leave your children confused and scared and directionless. They look to you for leadership.

  I've been out for 37 years. I've never had one regret. What a relief! It was the beginning of my life when I left.
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  rebel8

  enjoying the money from the sales of his books no doubt

  What evidence do you have to support your belief that Ray made any profit whatsoever from his book, let alone a significant profit?
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  mrsjones5

  None, she only has ignorant conjecture
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  cantleave

  TD - Excellent set of posts!!! Thanks - I will have to keep a look at for those Vampire gorillas
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  snowbird

  WOW!!!

  Welcome, Can'tLeave.

  I believe you're the first newbie to generate 9 pages of discussion!

  I hope your username will prove to be prophetic as far as JWN is concerned.

  Sylvia
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  cantleave

  I thank you all for your welcomes. I am really going to enjoy frequenting this discussion board - so many thoughtful and challenging comments- whether pro witness or not!!! I will take a look at Ray Franz books I am sure they will make interesting reading.
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  ninja

  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...sure you will trevor
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  cantleave

  Reniaa

  You said

  " the imperfect men/women both annointed, elders, CO's, DO's, pioneers, right down to the person sitting in the kingdom hall and myself, are all going to have that pull to sin and wrongly do things. I know I could have someone wrongly accuse me of things as a witness or get passed over for what I think are human reasons or see others manipulating the system for greed and ambitious reasons. these are all signs of satans system Witnesses can fight these inclinations but they cannot escape them".

  I accept no one is perfect and people will make mistakes. My children make mistakes and when they do I expect them to apologise. How often have the GB, CO, DO Cong Elders apologise for their mistakes. What have they done to rectify the heartache and personal damage that their mistakes have caused?

  Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power are gods attributes, these should be reflected by those in authority in his organisation. I see lots of power with the leadership (arguably abuse of it), Some love, but very little justice and wisdom. Justice would dictate that all those who been df'd for things that are now accepted (such as use of Factor VIII as one example) should automatically be reinstated and publicly apologised to.
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  oompa

  cantleave.....what effect if any have these responses had on you?.....of course you need to do what you feel is best for you and your family and i hope this forum with help in some way......i hope that you will all be able to remain close no matter what happens.....FAMILY is important and it just too sad that once baptized, they can so destroy members of a family.......oompa

  drain the pool before you let your kids get batpized as minors!!!!
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  cantleave

  Oompa, Absolutely, I am certainly not encouraging them to get baptised, and i'm certain that my wife wouldn't want them to consider baptism until they are old enough to really understand what they are undertaking. We were both baptised in our late teens, and I know she cringes at kids getting baptised. I think they need to finish college before contemplating any lifelong commitment. By then I am sure I would have sorted out my own position (which is becomimg clearer - ohhhh the light is getting brighter must be the truth!!!) and maybe plucked up the courage to do what I feel is right. So much to gain - So much to lose!!!!