Scully said: The only reason JWs are unsuccessful at inter-faith marriage is because their Governing Body requires JWs to create as much conflict as possible. There can be no compromise with Watchtower-ism. My way or the highway.......Now, it's the JWs doing the oppressing, making demands, offering no concessions, terrorizing the other spouse with threats of separation, divorce, child custody battles, alienation of affection on the part of the JW spouse and their children, etc. with the complete backing of the WTS and its legal henchmen.
Amen Scully. This summarizes the exact scenario of people like brotherdan, sd-7, gumby and god knows how many others. Their spouses are taught to 'put the Organization Jehovah first, even if it ruins your marriage'. There can be absolutely no compromise whatsoever. If you join another church, there is no chance in hell that your JW spouse is allowed to go with you or even respect your decision, yet you're supposed respect their decision to treat you like a second class citizen the second you either question the Organization or stop going to the meetings. They will try preaching to you and expect you to respect that and listen to them, but the second you try telling them why you no longer believe it, the mental block goes up, the glazed eye look takes over as they say "I don't want to talk about that!" or "I don't want to hear any of your apostate talk!"
Years ago, Witnesses were still strongly encouraged to stick with their mates, even if they were unbelieving. However, that's changed dramatically and even though there's no scriptural basis for it, Witnesses are more or less encouraged to dump their spouse if they leave the Borg, even if their 'apostate' spouse is willing to keep their views more or less to themselves. The experience that Gumby recently posted about some brain-dead sister at the ASSembly who proudly dumped her 'apostate husband' met with thunderous applause and approval from a roomful of zombies. It's just sick.
Brotherdan, do not take the blame for this. Your wife is the one who mentioned seperation, not you. Since you are not trying to force your beliefs on her, she has no scriptural grounds even for a seperation. You mentioned earlier that your wife is not really 'strong in the Troof'. My experience has been that quite often, those who are not really 'strong' are the most stubborn and unreasonable when it comes to 'apostacy'. I think they believe that if they take such a strong stand against it, that it somehow makes them feel more 'spiritual', making up for their 'weaknesses' when it comes to this religion and that Jehovah will 'bless their efforts'.
If your wife truly wants a seperation over this, she clearly hasn't thought things through. Does she work outside the home or will she expect you to support her (just until you're murdered by Jehovah at Armageddon). Does she realize that even if she finds another Dub, she will not be allowed to marry him unless one of you commits adultery? Is she prepared to be this much of a martyr and destroy your family life all because you don't believe everything she does?
No one can say exactly what you should do as every situation is different. But I would certainly not make it easy for her. If she wants a seperation because she's so worried about her 'spirituality', then let her move out. Believe me---after a month or so on her own, she just might see things in a different light. Most Witness women are not educated and depend on a man to support them emotionally, physically and financially. If you do all the pleading, that just gives her the upper hand and she'll end up making far more demands of you while being unwilling to bend herself on anything.
Keep us posted.
