by brotherdan 388 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Unfortunately letsslatejws you really don't know. It's obvious that you haven't been following the story as it developed. This man is desperately trying to keep his family together and rubbing the wife's face in apostate literature will make a potentially combustable situation explode for sure!
Killing the wife with kindness seems like a good move. Patience is definitely a virtue here. Hang in there Dan!
V665
Your wife going out with a "worldly" friend instead of running to the Hall is heartening, even though she got drunk?
Do you know this friend?
Maybe she can help your wife get in touch with her non-cult personality.
I would expect the elders to contact you when your absence from meetings becomes noticeable.
What do you plan to say to them?
SixofNine...you don't have kids, do you?
Why? Because I implore you not to treat your child like a mentally challenged person?
Not only do I have a daughter, but she is one of the most well rounded, immune-from-ever-possibly-becoming-a-JW persons I know. When she was six, I had to tell her why daddy wasn't going to the meetings anymore. I did this in spite of the fact that she didn't ask directly; but I knew she must wonder. Six months later she asked if I would be home from work in time, because she didn't feel like going to the meeting with my mom and sister. I made sure I got home in time. I don't think she ever went to another meeting. (I realize your kid won't likely have the same options)
I can't even imagine what good you think you will accomplish by not giving your child a straight answer to his question. I'm sitting here thinking of different scenarios, and they are ALL worse because the kid has this question hanging in his mind.
But you tell me, what message are you trying to send by avoiding the question? Or what message are you trying to avoid sending, and what is the benefit of not sending it?
Think about, you've drilled it into your kids head that people who don't go to meetings are going to be killed at armageddon. And armaggeddon is coming soon. Don't you think you have some responsibility to let him know that you think that is all a bunch of malarkey now?
BD..
Good..
As long as you dont say anything Negative about the WBT$..
And..
Stay away from WBT$ related Topics..
You will win the Battle..
Just realise..
Calming the Mrs down is going to take time..
And..
Dont do anything..That will make her chose between you and the WBT$..
You lost that War a long time ago..
..................
...OUTLAW
Last night she went out with one of her "worldly" friends and got drunk.
The first thing that comes to mind, petty though it may be: Do the Elders know about this? She is setting a bad example for the children! She is bringing disgrace upon J's Organization!
Image the roles were reversed. If you did that, what would have been waiting when the cab pulled up? Perhaps your suitcase sitting on the steps? A verbal berating?
Going out on the town drinking all night long is fun when you're young and single, but it's something you leave behind when you become a parent. It's one of those "responsibility" things that come with little ones depending on you and looking up to you. It's a particularly poor decision for somebody who seems to be inciting a custody dispute. About the only sense she showed was taking the cab instead of trying to drive home.
Do keep telling her you love her, but also tell her such behavior is not acceptable!
btw, when I told my daughter why I wasn't going to meetings anymore, it went something like this (paraphrasing): "Hun, I want you to know that the reason I'm not going to meetings isn't just that I'm lazy or just don't feel like it - it's because I don't believe what I used to believe and I don't agree with many of the things being taught at the Kingdom Hall anymore."
If she had asked for more detail, I would have given it to her, but she didn't. As I said above, six months later she quit going to meetings too. Meanwhile, she wasn't thinking that dad was just a slacker, and if she was hearing that people who don't go to meetings are going to be destroyed at armaggeddon, at least she had a competing opinion on the matter.
Sixofnine - good advice on telling the child(ren).
I had to do the same thing with my oldest. I made it as understandable and reasonable as I could. Something like, "I love you and mommy more than anything in the whole world. We all have to decide what we believe is true, and what I believe is different than what the people at the Kingdom Hall believe. That doesn't make them bad, or me bad, just different. Sometimes people get told what they have to believe, but I think it's better for us to decide for ourselves. Don't you?"
damn, that's good zoiks.
Why don't you just say "Well son daddy is doing some soul searching trying to understand somethings right now that I have to look for
myself" sure that will be the end of it. 5 yrs olds move on to the next thing.
I think it is best not to tell children you no longer believe things too early, they will always slip out and tell someone at the
hall......
