I HATE this religion (page 5)

yknot

Okay.... bare with me...

this is a 'big sister' talk....

I get it, I really do but this is where you need more than love and patience (you will quickly grow tire of 'getting nothing').... you need flexibility and bargaining ability. If not she will continue to drift away and if you are not the 'spiritual head' then the WTS is!

She has no reason to give you any spiritual 'time' if you aren't willing to give back in return (ie meeting).

She is correct you are 'in control' she is 'waiting' on you (this is just how us girls do in relationships where we were raised with 'headship'). So take the ball and put it into play. She wants you to attend and you want her to discern so propose a compromise where she reads old literarture or website and you go to segment of the meeting (ie CBS or PT). The more she reads the more you go to make her happy but not with the intention of 'believing'.

here is another 'MUST' you must do the FWN, it is vital that you take a lead spiritually at the bare minimum so that the 5 year old sees you being 'spiritual'. Use the Bible only and maybe rip off a few fun ideas from the Mormon 'Family Home Evening' webpages (yes our FWN is a ripped version of their FHE).

Know when falling back gives you greater access to getting ahead......

Hugs, love and prayers for you and the family!

wasblind

Good advice Yknot,

I hope she don't turn him into the Elders about the website though,

If she threatens to do so, he may have to threaten to tell them about her drinking

with the worldlies. Just be prepared for whatever comes

Gayle

At 5 yrs old, you can be having lots of special times together,,you can fill up the void that JWs create for JW children. Go to new children movies coming out together,,any local T-ball sports,,those start at 5 yrs old,,even simple soccor,,swimming, short hikes, fishing, trips to the library to pick books of his choice, school functions, encouraging his education. Letting him have non-JW friends, etc. Believe me, a dad like that has more than, what? 90%, 95% or 98+% chance of opening up his mind and heart to have a free life. You have opened the door for your son in your stance. I remember back with teenagers, especially boys, if their dad wasn't a JW, yet a good dad, then the majority of the boys left JWs.

Well, I did that. Though I am the mom. At first he became inactive, then I was the one that continued meetings and a little service for some years. But when I finally said I'm done and not going any more after I analyzed and re-analyzed every little domino of WT teachings. We had a few arguments but I saw it was futile, I remained hopeful and "submissive" while he'd start going back gung-ho occasionally to meetings but each time the kids showed more misery. Believe me, I ran myself to bits, for all the kids to such organized functions, sports, school and friends, room mom and team mom stuff with fun and relaxed structure.

I hope your marriage works through. I am amazed that many here are doing that. Finally, he wanted a divorce and married a non-JW 2 mos later and she divorced him after about a yr. Thankfully, though, all five of my kids were never baptized in JWs, have all graduated from college and are grateful for their free lives.

You are great for your son, he will realize it and thank you immensely as you show him the way.

kurtbethel

What do I say to a 5 year old about why daddy isn't going to meetings anymore?

"Because they teach people to be hateful there and they are teaching mommy to not love me any more."

I do not accept sugar coating evil.

Evidently Apostate

very good self control. your son will love you no matter what you say, he probably forgot it 5 min after the conversation. your wife may be this way or even more brazen for awhile. you make your argument every time you smile and tell her you love her. hopefully she will see herself from your eyes.

continue the fight

cyberjesus

if ur son is old enough to ask the question he is old enough to get the answer. he wants the truth. if u dont give it to him ur wife will. you want her back? its gonna require lots of work patience and intelligence. u know better than her and also know her game and its rules. she wants u back. now she just 'sinned' it would be awesome if the elders found out. think about it. they would do the work for u.

garyneal

While I have never been a witness, your story of not going to the meetings and your five year old's reaction reminds me of where I was over a year ago. After learning what I learned about the religion, I decided that I in good concious could not continue attending the meetings as if it were just another sect of Christianity. So I stopped going.

My daughter, who had just turned 3 at the time, stopped going also almost right away. My wife would ask her if she would go to the meetings with her and my daughter's response was, "Is daddy going?" When my wife said no, my daughter would say no too. I felt really bad for my wife at this point. A part of me wanted to attend the meetings because they were important to her, but I had to be true to myself too.

I got the question from my daughter too. "Why are you not going to the kingo hall with mommy?" I don't remember exactly what I said to her but I told her something along the line of my feeling like it is not the best place for daddy to go to. When my daughter witnessed my wife getting baptized, I remember her saying she wanted to get 'baptitized' too. I told her that I was 'baptitized' but not as a witness. One day, she may decide that she will want to be 'baptitized' too but if she gets 'baptitized' as a witness she will not be allowed to go to church with daddy or have Christmas or birthdays anymore. I, on the other hand, did not have those restrictions.

My daughter is very smart for a four year old and she gets a lot of compliments about how articulate she is in her speech (since age 2). While I try to keep things at her level, I do not hold back the truth about things. However, I try to make sure that she knows that mommy and daddy are both good people who love God very much.

dysfunction

As a women I will say that you should show support. My spouse is a so called unbeliever, and we were going to the meetings together. He stopped but I still kept on going. However, he always supported me, even with getting the kids dressed and ready.. also he never infringed on my beliefs. Of course a few months back if I had to pick between him and God, it would have been God. However, God opened my eyes to the jws falsehoods. How, well I prayed for the truth and the internet did the rest a few weeks after my prayer. So my advice be easy, pray for God to open her eyes, do it in faith, and support her. Please and I say please do not leave booklets and ect around, and do not try to keep her busy the day or night before the meeting. She will say that satan is using you to get to her. Instead make sure you help her get out of the house on time for the meeting, and help with chores around the house. Also make sure you Dont Start anything you can not finish... example like doing stuff you never did before and ect.....

garyneal

welcome to the board, dysfunction.

I guess I better remove my copies of Crisis of Conscious and The Gentile Times Reconsidered from my bedside table.

jamiebowers

Why not tell your son the truth? You're praying and reading the Bible on your own, because there are some things taught at the kh with which you don't agree.

I HATE this religion

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