by brotherdan 388 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Hey there BD,
I agree with the others when they say treat her kind
it may be a while before she let go of this anger because
i do believe her anger is being fed by outside sources
whether it's from the KH or worldy friends who have become
sympathetic to whatever she's relaying to them, most worldlies
don't know what this religion can put a marriage through so in
ignorance they may be giving her bad advice. I will certainly keep
you in my prayers
Hang in there, brotherdan
If she's hanging out with non JW's, it's a good sign - they may be able to show her how ridiculous it is to break up a marriage over a religion and get her to think and then think some more...
SixofNine, you have a PM.
You're doing good, Dan - you have more patience than I think even I would have, and I have a fair amount. (most of the time)
I would like to pass on some advice that was recently given to me (also out of the bible), and tell you to win her over without a word. It's your choice of course, and you know your relationship better than anyone - better than your wife possibly right now too, but I would depend more on the showing her that you love her than telling her that you love her. Have dinner cooked for her on meeting nights; have the house cleaned up. Play with your son and take care of your daughter so she gets a break after meetings, before meetings, etc. Treat her with love and respect. I don't think your words are being received well right now.
As for your son, tell him that you need to speak to Jesus and pray to God on your own for a little while. You're doing some studying, you love them both very much, and they'll let you know what you should do. Tell not to worry, and remind him of how much you love him, his sister (?), and his mom. Maybe make a habit of listening to him say his prayers at night so you're still part of his spiritual life.
Anyway, just some thoughts. You do need to say something to your son, because if you don't, he's going to hear only what they want him to hear, and he's going to be confused and that will make him afraid.
I am keeping you in my prayers also.
Tammy
I agree with wasblind in that your wife is probably getting bad advice from folks all around, including some from ignorant/misinformed wordlies. That makes me wonder if her hanging with the girlfriends is such a good thing.
My thoughts are with you man...
V665
I agree, be honest with your child that going to the meetings is not longer something YOU want to do. Tell him what you will be doing instead, maybe he'll want to join you.
I have two children, they left JW's when I did. They were 4 and 9.
lisa
BD.....hate to see you are still having problems. The kindness approach with her you are using is best. Avoiding direct criticism of the WTS and pushing apostate literature on her right now is also smart. Her going out with the worldly GF and getting drunk is actually some hope for you. I think if you keep up your love & kindness approach with her it will wear her down, especially when she sees things at the KH for what they really are. I would offer other alternatives to the meetings. You offer to taker her out Sat nights and hopefully stay out so late, and drink too much where she doesn't feel like going to the Sun meetings. Ask if she wants to go do something on a meeting night.
P.S. Unless I missed it, was so looking forward to hearing how your trip to Hawaii went.
Think About It
Tell your
1. You love hime very much
2. You still love mommy
3. The meetings are not something Daddy wants to do anymore as they make him sad.
But I'm getting nothing back.
Don't worry, the Lord got nothing back from me for 20 years! His love is unconditional and so must be ours.
What do I say to a 5 year old about why daddy isn't going to meetings anymore?
Just tell him the truth, the Spirit will give you the words Mark 13:11
Blessings,
Stephen
ZOIKS has the correct answer IMHO .
You are underestimating your 5 yr old Brotherdan . He comprehends way more than you think otherwise he would not be asking you so intently . He is asking because he IS troubled . I remember being 5 and knowing my unbeleiving Dad was bad for not going to meetings ! And anxious and worried about him dying . You need to give a clear answer so he understands it is not something he had any control over, and that you having a different belief than Mom is okay too.
Don't let them (those at the hall and the stuff he hears from the stage ) be the only thoughts he learns to think about in the new family situation .
Zoiks has an excellant reply for a child that age ,it allows them to learn we all have free choices to make . Choices do not make anyone bad or better just different .
At his age your reassurance will have to be repeated often ! Count on it . You may have to explain to him many times because I guarantee he is going to hear otherwise a multitude of times at the hall and from your wife .
