Dan, I don't mean to sound harsh baby
you know this situation better than us and if
this is due to post partum, you need to get her some
help, If it ain't , and you want your family, position yourself for a fight
I HATE this religion
by brotherdan 388 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
-
-
flipper
BRO DAN- Was working all night- just woke up and saw this thread. I'm very sorry this is happening to you. Been there, experienced this also with my former wife - a fanatic JW . Lots of good advice so far . I will PM you my phone number and I'd be glad to offer a hand of friendship to you too. Hopefully we can talk. I know how much you hurt and how hard it is to stay emotionally balanced right now- it's next to impossible. But it IS possible.
The posts mentioning for you to stay focused on being there for your children - I totally agree with as well. My children were young teenagers when my JW wife and I broke up. Your children NEED to see that you aren't going to go ape-$hit emotionally nuts - as perhaps your wife may be doing. You have a real chance here to man up and be the voice of wisdom on behalf of your children. That should be a priority - as well as getting legal advice and your living arrangements planned out. Your wife sounds as if she has painted you in a negative light to the children - as your children get older they will see what she is doing. Don't fall into the trap of bashing her to the kids. Be the bigger person. My ex dissed me horribly- still does 12 years after the divorce - but my older son 25 sees through the BS and we are closer than brothers.
You will be successful in keeping close to your children- you just have to play this SMART ! Gotta run friend. Hope to talk soon, hang in there buddy, check your PM's
-
Aussie Oz
oh dear...
i woke this morning (in OZ) to see that your wife is moving to Denver...
I have only this piece of advice left Brotherdan...and it is from my own bitter experience i am sad to say:
Please get legal Advice NOW. She may well have already done so as it appears that for her to decide to move out so fast someone perhaps has been whispering in her ear, and indeed she may have been wanting to do this longer than you may think...
You may be able to get an emergancy court ruling tostop her moving the children more than 20 miles or so away.
Most settlements on breakup are made while the husband is feeling really guilty and in my case i gave her 100% and let her move the kids too far away.
Do not trust her word to keep you in touch with the children. She will change her mind.
Do get a mediated 50/50 custody established asap.
I hope in some way to have been of help, i know the desire is to keep it all together and i hope you can. But just dont get blind sighted by how wonderful a mum she is etc and let her run you over. There has truly been some good advice on here and i hope you can wade through it all to find the stuff that helps you...
all the best, hang in there
oz
-
Billy the Ex-Bethelite
Dan,
First, clear the beer. Second, don't lose your job, but you might let the boss know what's going on. Third, check for the PM I'll be sending shortly...
-
Nice_Dream
I sent you a link for free PPD help in your area. Maybe call them and see what they can do and ask how to bring it up with your wife once things have settled down a bit.
-
Think About It
Second, don't lose your job, but you might let the boss know what's going on.
Billy.....that's actually a good idea. You hate for the boss to know your business, but then again letting him know there are some family issues going on could let some performance issues sides if that was the case. I had an employee come to me before with a similar situation, and I was protective of him after that. I let some of his performance slide and eventually he got over the situation and better.
Think About It
-
Nickolas
Dan, what is it exactly you want to achieve? You don't need to respond to this thread, just sit down, face your reality, figure out what you want to happen and then figure out how you are going to do it. Guaranteed the game will change along the way and you will have to adjust your approach but you are not going to win it if you don't get a grip. This is going to sound coarse and unfeeling but grow some balls. I'm not saying get tough and hardassed, I'm advising that you find your courage, because it seems from your latest posts that it is lacking.
-
wasblind
Nick, this mans wife sent him an E-mail tellin' him
she don't love him anymore and haven't for a long time
that's just like being in a damn car wreck, head on collision
let him get his bearings straight before you start tellin' him
to grow some Balls. Even though we may give him advise
at the end of the day, he's the one who has to figure out what he's has to do
But it don't mean he ain't got no balls
-
RosePetal
wasblind is right Dans heart is breaking, give him a break.
-
3Mozzies
I'm alone, guys. You think I'm not? I am. I have no friends. And I'm not a freak. But I'm treated like one.
I feel for you Dan, I wish I could just jump on a plane to the USA right now and help you!
I hope someone here on JWN who is living in your area can meet up with you in your darkest hour, you need someone with you. Turn to someone, anyone, just don't be alone...