What is it with all the men waking up but the wives stay in? Why is it the opposite for me? (page 2)

It is true that men's reasons vs women's reasons for waking up are often on opposite sides of the logical/emotional continuum. Perhaps it's true that the ratio of men vs women waking up first favours the masculine side of the scale but I doubt it's quite as lopsided as it would seem to the mermaid. We DO see ladies waking up because of being excluded from the group, being the outsiders in their own congregations, usually through no fault or doing of their own. Men on the other hand, usually become at odds with the congregation and/or the WTS because of things of their own doing. There are of course statistical outliers on both sides who end up being the opposite of what's typical of their gender, but, all-in-all, we are all individuals and we all do things for our own reasons...

V665 V665

aSphereisnotaCircle

Oppressed people tend to cling to religion more then free people.

It's a great coping mechanism when your life sucks.

Hoffnung

As a MS, I was in around in the congregation kitchen and saw too many cockroaches doing the cooking, and carcasses lying around. This could not be a healthfull environment to prepare spiritual food.

LostGeneration

A lot has to do with the conditioning the WT puts on women, especially the married ones. They have to answer to everyone. Not enough that they have Gods rules, and WT rules, they also have the headship rule.

Especially for "sisters" born in, they are told what to do from day 1. I think that may make many of them unwilling/unable to break through the fog and think independently.

Many of them also are isolated socially to a greater extent than men. Most men in the org work, while probably 25% of women work full time, and another 25% work part time. A guy will get a larger world view being at work, while the sisters who are essentially isolated with only their field service buddies to talk to will be limited in their chance to break out of the WT mold.

sleepingbeauty

I would say that there are an awful lot of women who arent IT / Computer literate (specially those in their late 30's - 40's+) , so because of this they lack the know how to research anything. What is more they are usually rearing children, sorting out homework, ironing etc, whilst the husband gets to play. When they do have any spare time they really don't want to spend it on twiggling buttons when they can finally put their feet up & watch TV....

I number of my friends barely knew how to switch a computer on, so I think Im close with my assessment of things !

Well thats what I think anyhow :~)

im stuck in

I agree with madsweeney and others. When you are a male and elder etc you see so much more. I was right up there on the circuit and district level. I tried to tell my wife of some of the problems I have seen and having not seen things her answer is to wait on Jah. I do my best to keep working on her and it is going better but it is very slow and the slightest thing at all pushes her right back. Have faith your mate will see things in time but it is very slow. If you women that see the light were my wife I would be one happy guy. stuck in

superpunk

Women cling to religion more than men across the board.

http://www.livescience.com/7689-women-religious-men.html

Among the reasons women tend to be more religious, he says:

Mothers have tended to spend more time raising children, which often means overseeing their involvement in church activities.
Though two-income households are more common today, in the past women often had more flexible daily schedules, permitting more church involvement during the week.
Women tend to be more open about sharing personal problems and are more relational than men. Other Gallup research shows a higher proportion of women than men say they have a "best friend" in their congregation, he wrote.

Lastly, Gallup argued, "More so than men, women lean toward an empirical [depending on experience or observation] rather than a rational basis for faith."

There may be another reason. Rodney Stark, a professor of sociology and comparative religion at the University of Washington, flips the question around: Why are men less religious?

"Studies of biochemistry imply that both male irreligiousness and male lawlessness are rooted in the fact that far more males than females have an underdeveloped ability to inhibit their impulses, especially those involving immediate gratification and thrills," Stark argued in a 2002 paper in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion.

The upshot is that some men are shortsighted and don't think ahead, Stark said, and so "going to prison or going to hell just doesn't matter to these men.

Franklin Massey

For me, the deeper I got in the Org, the more flaws I saw. The more meeting parts I had to prepare, the less certain doctrines made sense. The more questions the friends or householders asked me, the more research I did - and the more research I did, the more doubts I had. The more Bible studies I conducted, the less sure I was of what I was selling these people. In the beginning of my departure from the total JW doctrinal package, I did everything by the book. Study, prayer, meditation. The more I studied, prayed, and meditated, the more the WT's version of "truth" faded away. I didn't end up here until I was already waaaaay out of the JW mindset.

In one of my other posts, where I was lamenting my situation, a female poster mentioned that as far as public apperances go, it's easier for a sister to fade. She has less skin in the Organizational game. I think this is a sad fact. Sad because if the Org really wanted to grow, they would let women do more instead of lowering them to second string status.

My wife is slowly waking up too but unlike me, she is more comfortable in her individual beliefs because she doesn't have to teach the congregation. She doesn't have to shepherd the congregation. She is happy just going along knowing that she doesn't agree with everything the Governing Body puts into print. When I have trouble preparing a meeting part that contains elements that I don't personally believe to be true, she calmly tells me, "Leave it out." The biggest area where we don't see eye to eye is in how the Org deals with those who disagree with its teachings. She thinks that JWs can hold doctrinal differences in the same compartment as they hold conscience matters like certain areas of entertainment, health care choices, alcohol consumption, etc. According to her, if I don't believe that Christ was enthroned in 1914, that's my business and to avoid offending anyone, I should just keep that to myself. The problem I have with this is that not only are we expected to believe in 1914 (or any official doctrine), we are expected to tell others to believe it. We are told to give them magazines and books containing that information. No one really cares what movie I saw or what band I like and in the Big Picture, none of that matters. Those are conscience matters. But doctrine is different. It's much more serious.

blondie

But if a man is a jw and has progressed to the position of MS or elder, certainly that shows he doesn't just have a passive approach to his religion as some sociological studies say men in general have. My husband didn't get informed until he became an elder and saw all the shenanigans. Women don't know much in the WTS unless they have been the direct target of unchristian treatment in the WTS organization.

I think part depends on how much respect and love the husband has for his wife and her opinion and whether they are just 2 people floating along in life rather than being lovingly committed to each other. I have seen many marriages decay after both husband and wife leave the WTS because they find they have not much in common any more.

The most important thing is to start forming a life you can go to when you leave your WT life: new friends, new interests, spend more time with your mate telling them you care about them, find activities apart from the WTS, recontact you non-jw relatives, get to know your neighbors and workmates. What got me going was just reading the bible....I must have had a question for every page...would you husband be willing to use the bible to find an answer?

Blondie

What is it with all the men waking up but the wives stay in? Why is it the opposite for me?

Mickey mouse

VampireDCLXV