Looks Like I'm Back on the Radar- my Daughter has Local Elder Call on Me

by flipper 200 Replies latest members private

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    An ex-elder who lives in my town moved into an apartment and divorced his bat-shit-crazy dub wife. He continued to provide support for her and the kids, and the kids were sympathetic enough to keep associating with him, eventually becoming employed in his successful business.

    For whatever reasons, he escaped judicial action at the time. Seven or eight years later, he got a call from two elders inviting him to a judicial meeting at the hall on a given day. He said he was no longer a witness and hadn't been for years and that no one viewed him as one. Therefore, he wouldn't be at the KH on that or any other day. They told him they would hold the hearing anyway and "act on the evidence available."

    Later he got another call from the two elders, telling him he had been df'd.

    It turns out his wife had begun dating a "brother" at the KH and a wedding date was imminent. She wanted to be "free to marry" so she told her elders that her ex-husband was living in sin and needed to be df'd so there'd be no gossip about her status and freedom to marry. She provided whatever "evidence" they required as to his shack-up status and that's why they called.

    My point: often it's a call from a related dub that moves you from the "inactive" to the "needs action" column on the BOE's to-do list.

    Flipper. you may have been moved into that column. There's a small chance you may never hear from this guy again, for a variety of reasons. More likely, you will get a "return visit" and he will bring a companion. In your account, he just showed up one morning unannounced, right? So that's how the ambush will occur.

    Your best policy going forward is: Grant no interviews. It may not make any difference, but don't make it easier for them.

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Flipper... you really gave him something to think about. You planted some really good seeds. Alas, you know their drill so I figure you'll be receiving another visit. As willyloman has stated you're more than likely in the "needs action" category. I'd be avoiding them unless you're ready for the next steps.

  • InterestedOne
    InterestedOne

    If they ask the loyalty question, can't an inactive JW just say they are dealing with doubt? Can't the inactive one just say it is a personal matter & they will ask for help when they are ready? I can't imagine there is any policy in the JW handbook that would make doubt a grounds for disfellowshipping. Overt opposition, yes, but doubt?

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Flipper, you are indeed back on the JW radar. I genuinely believe the org is "cleaning house" even if you do not speak to "two witnesses", they can invite you to a JC, if you refuse they can hold a JC and get testimonials from family members. Elders play by their own rules and will move goal post to "keep the congregation clean". I hope I am wrong but this could be the beginning of the end of your fade.

    Be very careful about what you say.

    Take care my friend,

    ANGUS

  • Iamallcool
    Iamallcool

    Flipper if they come back, tell them you are busy.

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    Good job Mr. Flipper. I would be surprised if they come back soon or if at all. They know they would have to be on their toes after your discussion. The brilliant thing was the shunning issue you brought out. I am convince by living with civility, and kindness and not putting up with poor behavior is an effective way to communicated to the JW person/world how you are as a person and how you live your life. If they ever come out of the box to "think," it may resonate with them. Your daughter has no issues with you as a father other than you have left "the truth." You have treated her as a loving father all the time, so the poor treatment is unwarranted. I'm anxious to see if he does tell her to contact you and if she does.

    Hugs to the lovely Mrs. xx

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Good job, Mr. Flipper, and good luck.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    FHN, I don't think Flipper has much to lose in what he said. The daughter minimized the contact already.

    I'm just saying, the elder will probably discourage the contact the elder mentioned.

    We all know that JW's spook easily. They are terrified of apostates. Elders have been trained in what to look for. They see it coming sometimes before we even know we are headed that direction.

    I don't want to see you get your hopes up, Flipper.

    At the very least, this has planted some seeds with the elder.

  • tiki
    tiki

    Snoozy has a point....you, dear flipper, are easy field service time! My hubby has a weekly visitor...he leaves a book every week....same ones....the poor guy is in his late 80's and a lifer, so has to get that time and those placements in. Hubby has some interesting ideas and is vocal about sharing them. He too thinks the generation stuff is a bunch of hooey.... back when we used to frequent kingdom halls, he would make comments that would slay the wt conductor, but the poor guy was so stupid he just would say thank you and move on. Anyway, the elderly one reads the text with him and they have a "discussion" and hubby gives him his ideas. It annoys me on some level, but its nice that the older gentleman has somewhere to go where he is welcome.

    I always am unavailable, of course.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    Either this Elder knowingly lied to Flipp about JW's stance on education and Blood

    or he is just not up to speed when it comes to his own religions practices

    if the later is the case, Flipp may have definitley planted a seed, don't know

    how long it will take to grow, but it's planted

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