The Watchtower, Adult Study Edition, Volume 2, Article 1: Questions From Readers (page 10)

mrquik

Damn, I just bought the wife a vibrator shaped like the Easter Bunny for Christmas.

sabastious

SD's OP was epic and DJ made the thread legendary. Cheers!

-Sab

cantleave

Blondie puts the Eggnog in his place

I remember all the flip flopping about oral sex. I even had a member of my congregation ask me whether it was OK for a married couple to practice!!!!

Yes this article is parody - but the WTS have produced articles just as crass in the literature.

But wannabes like eggnog won't remember.

BTW eggnog - when I was DF'd I was told in no uncertin terms that this IS an apostate site. You should not be on here. Even though we would all miss your pearls of genius.

sabastious

Blondie puts the Eggnog in his place

This would be true of DJ had a place to go.

-Sab

BizzyBee

This article you wrote was well-written and could fool the not-as-studious as the rest Witness into believing it to be a real article published by the WTS, and, like I said above, nothing prevents what you wrote from appearing without the "headnote" in some other form. Give yourself credit; it's good, but you might have opened yourself up to a lawsuit. We'll see what happens.

Yes, even I myself may have to sue sd-7 - he made me look up a scripture!

I admit I am not as conversant with Eggnog as some, but is it not just possible that he is the one having the biggest leg-pull here?

I could sit here and attempt to deconstruct djeggnog's further response, which was chock-full of loaded language and personal insults, but that would be rather time-consuming. From what I gather, it seems that he feels a need to justify his posting on this website. He acknowledges that "former Jehovah's Witnesses" post here, people who, by his words "call themselves apostates". Well, if that is true, then by communicating with them, you are violating scriptural commands as understood by those taking the lead in your religion. Perhaps we're all hypocrites here, then.

Also, I know a bit about the law, and I'm pretty sure that you can't be sued for doing a parody--and if I can be, by a rather well-endowed corporation that hardly needs my two cents that I can barely rub together, they could've done it a long time ago, like, 5 or 6 parodies ago? Not to mention that their own behavior provides more than enough, dare I say, overlapping amounts of, character defamation. They don't need any help from me.

But the bottom line for me is, not to tell people to leave the Christ, but rather, to STOP BEING SLAVES OF MEN. The risks of ending up on drugs or getting an STD are very real, and I would never recommend that people hang out with someone who uses drugs or go and just have sex with whoever they want, whenever they want. That's just not a good idea in general, regardless of your faith or lack thereof. To suggest that I'm interested in destroying people's spirituality is no more insulting than my parody.

Your reasoning sounds a lot like the exact kind of reason that REAL Watchtower articles warn against. 'Oh, I'm strong enough to read this stuff, it won't affect me' is quite dangerous, independent thinking, not as I personally understand it, but as the Watchtower itself says. But we're going in circles here.

I think you've read some of my thoughts, but not all of them. I think as a whole that Jehovah's Witnesses are sincere people trying to serve God as best they know how. Some of my family is part of this religion and I've known some good people who are still in it. I don't even disagree with everything that's taught. My disagreement is with not having the freedom to disagree, even in your private thoughts, with their belief system. No group of men should have the right to make the kinds of decisions the Society makes for people.

I find it revealing that you feel my mentioning the actual Watchtower as 'my interpretation' of the words the Society has published. To that, I respond, what's to interpret? Their words aren't that hard to read, and they're not written in symbols, they're written in plain English. It says what it says. When they say "come to God's organization for salvation," there's no interpreting involved there. It means what it says. You can read the full context of the article as often as you like, but everyone who can read will come to the same conclusion. It's just not everyone can see the implications of those conclusions.

But hey, you have the freedom to believe as you like. I have the freedom to say it's a load of crap, even if I'm wrong. (I'm not. And I have the freedom to say that, too.) But let's say somebody figures out who djeggnog is, prints out HIS posts and shows them to a whole truckload of elders throughout the area? Unless he really IS in the Writing Department, or similarly highly placed and thus untouchable, I doubt that would end well for him.

Being spiritually mature is not measured by how many insults you can throw out there. And let's face it, I could care less about your self-righteous sense of spiritual maturity. If you can't see the grossly paradoxical position you're in, that's kind of sad, really. For all we know, YOU could be doing a long-running parody.

As for me, I'll be a little annoyed by your rants, but not particularly worried that Someone who hasn't been heard from for 2,000 years is going to kick down my proverbial door and punish me for believing something other than what the pyramid schemer and the judge came up with 100 years ago.

My point in writing this article was to demonstrate how the power of scripture can be abused. It can be manipulated into any kind of belief imaginable. It underscores the danger of merely taking the words in some religious group's literature at face value, rather than thinking for yourself and carefully examining the scriptures. Or, indeed, simply using innate power of reason and thinking about your actions and the consequences thereof and choosing a wise course.

I would agree with numerous posts here that indicate that Jehovah's Witnesses may be susceptible to accepting Watchtower reasoning at face value, but they're not stupid people. Besides, what's so far-fetched about avoiding sex toys for a JW, anyway? Much of the reasoning in the article was actually pretty sound in its own way. I think it would go against a standard JW's conscience to use stuff like that. Either way, the sum total of literature months and months ahead is readily available to Witnesses; it would be very easy to look ahead and see that no such article was in existence, and the pattern of articles altogether would easily prove that no such article was forthcoming.

And...if they bought it as real, so what? The worst that happens is they stop using sex toys! Big deal! Nobody ends up dead from refusing an organ transplant or something. If they take the article to an elder, they'll get in trouble because...UH OH...the elders checked the source and found it to be an apostate website! The idea that because some people here are JWs, therefore it's not an apostate website is like taking a bunch of JWs into a worldly nightclub and calling it a JW nightclub. Sorry, doesn't work.

But this has actually become a pretty interesting back-and-forth. Let's see what further insults come out of the bag. So far, nothing particularly unpredictable. And yes, I'll continue patting myself on the back for my witty retorts; after 20 years of being kicked in the behind by the Watchtower, I've earned it.

--sd-7

Mr. Falcon

You know what would be funny? If me and sd-7 broke into DJeggnog's house and replaced all his flashlights with Flesh-lights!

LostGeneration

Thus the sex organs are not playthings to have a lot of fun with, for such fun does not serve the divine purpose. It results in injury not alone to the sex organs but to the whole individual who tries to have fun in this way. The sex organs, rather than being toys, serve a most serious purpose

Now that is one of the best WT quotes I have seen in a long time!!!!

jgnat

Aah, get over it, fellow posters. Eggnog is one of us, with one foot in the "world".

It just so happens that this week's article is "Do You Hate Lawlessness?", which blondie will later expound in her thorough style. In summary, one paragraph is dedicated to love, and the rest to hate. Two paragraphs address alcohol abuse, three to the occult (vampires!), two to sexual immorality (pornography), and two to music. The "loving" arrangement of disfellowshipping is discussed (seven paragraphs), and two paragraphs for wrap-up. Be clean or be devoured by a lion. (1 Peter 5:8) (Watchtower February 15, 2011, p. 2, pp. 19)

The "cure" to pornography addiction, as advised by the Society, is to confess to the elders. My deepest sympathy to the elders over the next few weeks or months as they take confession.

A dirty habit I wish my husband would give up is quoting Watchtower articles in bed. What a turn-off!

The Watchtower, Adult Study Edition, Volume 2, Article 1: Questions From Readers

Share this