Were you ever an elder?
Yes (post 1732)
the elders want to meet with me tomorrow
by wannabefree 146 Replies latest members private
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wannabefree
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00DAD
Then you know the drill and they know you know the drill. That, I think, changes things.
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OUTLAW
that is when I was told ... "no, this is just you, we will meet at the Kingdom Hall"..
Do you really need any more clues than that?..
It`s a JC..
Your old friends are ready to drop the axe..
The question is..
Are you a willing Victim?..
...OUTLAW
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wannabefree
It is really just so sad.
One of my teen daughters was joking with me the other day ... "I'm going to have to get married soon so you can be in the wedding".
So many people are so clueless about the reality of the harm this religion does to families who do not comply.
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undercover
ah-yup... sheparding calls don't happen at KH back rooms.
Even if it's not a formal JC meeting. It is an investigative meeting... to determine if a JC meeting is necessary.
I'm not you, can't tell ya what to do...but if it were me, I wouldn't show up, I wouldn't answer any more phone calls, emails, texts, etc. They don't have any more authority than what you give them. Don't give em any, they can't do anything to you.
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OUTLAW
It is really just so sad.
It`s only sad if you play their game..
Avoid them..They`ll get bored..
Then keep your ass below the radar..
Eventually you can disappear..
Problem solved..
...OUTLAW
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00DAD
WBF: I went back and read your post 1732. Thanks. Sorry I missed it. I've been trying to keep up with everything about your particular situation here because it resonates with me in so many ways. While some of the details are different, there are a lot of similarities to where I was at a couple of years ago. If I'd known then what I know now, I definitely would have handled things a lot differently.
Talking to the elders was a BIG MISTAKE for me. I was having serious doubts about the organization and my marriage was in trouble. I went to men that I thought were my friends, "good men" that I'd known for over a decade. Instead of helping they took 1/2 hour to meet with me and decide I should be disfellowshipped. In the 2 1/2 years since then not one of them has done a single thing to help me at all. I've made sure they all know where I'm living and how to contact me. I even went to meetings pretty regularly for the 1st year. I actually didn't stop going until about 6 months ago. In all that time, not a call, not a letter, not an email or a text message.
I've recently asked my 17 year old son that is still in and he says none of the elders have ever done anything to show any particular interest in him or to help him. As far as he knows they have not done anything to help his older brother or his mother either (they won't talk to me).
You wrote:
"I know I am guilty, self-incrimination, acting defensively, probably raising suspicion ..."
I can certainly relate to those feelings. I was overwhelmed with them myself for the first year or so after I was disfellowshipped. Slowly I began to heal. Then I started reading things to help me get a different perspective. The feelings you have are the result of the manipulative, mind-control tactics that cults use to keep its members in line. (I'd recommend you reading Steven Hassan's books if you haven't already done so. In particular, his second book, Releasing the Bonds, has been really helpful to me.)
Ask yourself, "Why do I feel guilty? What wrong have I done?"
From what I've read, your "crime" has been to realize the WTBTS is NOT what they claim to be and you discovered it. Why should THAT make you feel guilty? THEY should feel guilty for lying and deceiving you and millions of other people! If anything, you should feel outrage! They owe you (and all of us) a major apology ... I know, it ain't gonna' happen. But you see, taking a step back and getting an accurate assessment of the REALITY of things, rather than continuing to look at everything the way WT Teachings have trained you to PERCEIVE them, changes everything. This is powerful stuff!!!
You're smart, you're getting some good advice in advance, you know what's possibly/likely coming, you know why and you can prepare.
Right now your focus should be on your family, getting your wife and kids on the same page as you. This of course can be difficult. I couldn't do it with my now ex-wife even though I tried. And with my kids, well I was the one that taught them these beliefs, and then I make this major "sea change". It was and is very confusing to them. I'm having some success with my younger son, but it's slow going ...
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leavingwt
"a third elder is making attempts to set up a one-on-one with me"
"I've known this man 15 years, a good man, he has never made such an attempt in the past"
Ignore him. Do not meet with him or even speak to him. His priority is doing what Mother tells him to do. Don't concern yourself with his feelings. So long as he is captive to the WT, he cannot be friends with anyone who won't listen to Mother. You can remember the past, good times, but those days are over.
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designs
The Society, in their extreme paranoia, cannot stand loose canons and independent thinkers in their Ranks. I have the Warrant out on me as well. There is still family I have in that I want to have a meaningful relationship with and so this game of threats and countermoves continues. What a waste of precious time.
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