the elders want to meet with me tomorrow

by wannabefree 146 Replies latest members private

• 

  ziddina

  "Once you accept they have NO power and REFUSE to speak to them, they lose any smigdens of power they had over you. They like to use the bullying/scare tactics and when they realise they are wasted on you, they don't know what to do, so look for the next victim to terrorize. ..."

  Oooooo, I LIKE what Watersprout said!!!! VERY good advice!!

  And speaking of good advice,

  Morbidzbaby has - yet again - come out with the best advice!!

  Her wisdom cleary demonstrates how much women COULD bring to the "table" - and it is to the Watchtower Corporation's ETERNAL shame that they do NOT consider women to be of any value beyond popping out future cult members and yakking up other vulnerabe women in the door-to-door work...

  She displays far better mental acuity and wisdom, and kindness, than many a serving elder!!!

  For Morbidzbaby - kudos!!

  
• 

  curiouscynic

  "oh you poor, sweet, wonderfully naive person! You've apparently been fortunate enough to not see the sinister, dark reality of many, many BOEs. Bless your ignorance!!!

  The "panic" you observed is the appropriate response from many of us who have experienced "The Truth" they way it really is, not the way it should be."

  @00DAD - How do you "quote" another post on this board?? Anyway-- I've never been accused of naivety before... I started a thread about disassociating myself, perhaps you could pass judgment upon me there.

  I'm certainly not inexperienced when it comes to "theocratic procedure." In my experience, no elder body wants to disfellowship anybody. They'd much rather look the other way and live their own lives to the extent possible. That said, of course, pressures from the congregation or someone who perceives themselves victimized, or the enticement of their own "bible-trained" conscience might lead them to jump to conclusions and take action when none is warranted. But, they typically subscribe to natural human tendency in the same fashion anyone else would, don't start nothin' won't be nothin'. That said, I haven't read a WT or Awake! in well over 10 years, so I'll defer to you with recent experience in that regard.

  But I've been in more judicial committees than most, I assure you, and in my experience... with respect to the OPs SPECIFIC issue, that he wants to quietly slip away and be left alone... he should be able to wrap that up in one meeting with 2 elders no problem.
• 

  00DAD

  curiouscynic: Didn't mean to sound judgmental. Sorry if it came across that way.

  I'm glad that "In [your] experience, no elder body wants to disfellowship anybody." That has NOT been my experience or the experience of MANY, MANY posters here as you will no doubt soon find out.

  BTW, I did see your other thread and responded a couple of hours ago!

  Cheers,

  Daniel
• 

  curiouscynic

  I was in virtually the exact same position as the OP, or even similar to your own, 00DAD. Walk away from your "friends" and ask to be left alone, everything's cool. No elder body that I've ever had any experience with would disfellowship someone for wanting to walk away quietly. I've seen it successfully done hundreds of times. Your advice was sound, 00DAD. Be vague, no need to articulate every criticism. Just bow out quietly.
• 

  ziddina

  "I'm certainly not inexperienced when it comes to "theocratic procedure." In my experience, no elder body wants to disfellowship anybody...." Curious Cynic

  Ah, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

  I would LOVE to know what "experience" you've had, that allows you to state:

  "But I've been in more judicial committees than most, I assure you..."

  Really?

  Your own?????

  How many times WERE you called before the elders, anyway??

  Or were you actually serving as [gasp!] an "elder" in the congregation? And in that case, HOW many dissenters, questioners, and apostates - er, ahem - "fornicators and drunkards" - WERE there in your congregation?

  "I've seen it successfully done hundreds of times. ....."

  Sounds like your congregation[s] must have been rife with "satanic eeeeeeeee-vil"....

  Ah, CuriousCynic, it's always nice to see another face on the board, but......

  I'VE been DISASSOCIATED for almost 27 years...

  But DUUUUUUUDE....

  I have a better grasp of the crap that is going on within the congregations today, than you....!

  You might want to add this website to your "favorites", just for a little "lite" - flickering light - reading....

  http://www.jw.org/index.html?option=nBZR

  Oh, and let me introduce myself...

  I'm Zid - the board's She-Devil...
• 

  ziddina

  And for someone who supposedly "disassociated", ten years ago...

  It sounds like you're still mentally "in"...
• 

  curiouscynic

  You are effing hilarious! I have now reached the conclusion that some individuals are just more susceptible to brainwashing than others. You gave up one whole-hearted, hook, line, and sinker ideology for another. And just because I'm not playing your reindeer games and jumping on the random JW-bashing bandwagon you wish to make attempts at denegration? Classic!

  My experience is just what I stated it is. I'VE BEEN IN MORE COMMITTEE MEETINGS THAN MOST. I would've thought the devil, even a She Devil had, at minimum, 3rd grade reading comprehension. [See how I threw in a bit of sexism? I thought it humorous.]

  [/RANT]

  Honestly. I was in sh*tloads of committee meetings, in 7 different congregations and 3 states, for everything from brazen dissention to getting a BJ from the PO's daugther in the parking lot to pretty much anything you can think of in between. I've been DF'd AND reinstated and now disassociated. My father ultimately felt forced to step down because it was suggested that he might not be presiding over his household in a fine manner due to his son's behavior. So... please. I know a little about how a JC works. From being on the SH*TTY end of it. I'll welcome the challenge of anyone who thinks they know better than I.

  Perhaps I got a pass when I was leaving the organization. I was respected by the elder body for my forthrightness and scriptural knowledge. My father said that none of the elders wanted to come and face me when I was reported for apostasy. I met with the elders, told them to take a hike, and they've left me alone ever since. You're welcome to read my LENGTHY story in the thread I started. I'm now feeling guilty for hijacking this gentelman's thread.
• 

  Morbidzbaby

  Awwww, Zid!! That's the best compliment I've gotten in a long time. You just made my day! Psssst, your halo is showing under those horns .

  curiouscynic: Not to sound like an asshole, but you basically just showed us the reason WHY you've never been in a "witch hunt" Judicial Committee or fishing expedition.

  Your dad was an elder. 'Nuff said. Those of us who didn't have elder dads and pioneer moms were subjected to the FULL onslaught of what the elders called their "Judicial Committees" or fact-finding missions. There's an organizational hierarchy at play. Elders' kids are, for the most part, given a slap on the wrist (until the behavior becomes chronic, as in your case...but notice: They still leave you alone...because your dad WAS a repected elder). Example of this: My best friend's husband beat the shit out of her. He was in "good standing" and his dad was, you guessed it, an elder. He didn't get DF'ed. He just got some privileges taken away for a couple of months. However, a friend of my brother's defended himself against his wife when SHE hit HIM. All he did was grab her arms so she couldn't hit him. She called the police. He was then DF'ed. The difference? He grew up in a "divided" home, with his JW mom and "worldly" dad.

  There are many MANY more stories like this. There are audio recordings of JC's that you can listen to that will show you just what goes on. A lot of us here have been through JC's (I've been through a few, just like you). The ONLY THING that saved me from being DF'ed was that my dad was moving up in the congregation and being groomed to be an elder. But before he was baptized? They weren't so kind to us kids. From being blamed for stupid shit that went on in the hall, to having one elder who physically SHOVED us around like we were lower than dirt. You can't make this shit up, man. And a lot of us here have been on the receiving end of their "loving counsel".

  Granted, there are elders who are sincere. I knew a few of them. But there are a lot who are just pompous assholes and want to get rid ANY hint of dissent when they catch a whiff of it.
• 

  HappyDad

  Curiouscynic,

  What planet are you from. I am a 64 year old XJW who used to be an elder and in all of my experience, there was never a "nice" elder visit/meeting/wanting to encourage you type of meeting. They wanted blood....they wanted you either in or out. You had no real choice. I can't really believe what you are saying. I've never known an elder body to just let someone slip away.

  Granted.....you may have one "nice" and "understanding" individual elder (like I was) but then they have no choice either but to go along with the hard asses.

  It always had to be a majority vote. All three had to have the same choice even if one did not agree and I'm sure that has not changed one bit.

  It is a cult plain and simple.

  HappyDad
• 

  curiouscynic

  @Morbidz- I understand why you would say that and I have seen similar situations where elder's kids appeared to get preferential treatment. My father was not an easy man to live with. I was barely 17 when I left home and I never went back. He never allowed us to get any sort of preferred status. If shi*t went down, it was MY fault. EVERY TIME. In one situation, I got in trouble with 3 other kids; 2 boys, 2 girls total. I was the youngest of all of them, the nearest in age being 2 years older than me. 1 of the other kids was 4 years older than me, 19 and a regular pioneer. 1 of the girls was also an elder's kid. The 19 year old drove his car and picked us all up. When we all got caught by the police having sex in the car, several committee meetings followed. Even though I was the youngest, I was considered the RING LEADER and ORGANIZER and was publicly reproved. Everyone else was privately reproved with no restrictions in privileges.

  That's how the majority of my committee cases went. But my father was so brutal that I never feared the JCs. I looked them in the eye and spoke with determination. No one ever believed me repentant. So don't be so quick to judge.

  Incidentally... I've been publicly reproved twice, declared an unapproved associate from the platform, been the subject of one public needs talk, and disfellowshipped.