the elders want to meet with me tomorrow (page 4)

moshe

JWs hate NEEDY JWs- you can become the JW that needs help- lots of it- car repairs, groceries, home repairs, mental help ( nobody wants to counsel a mental misfit) - Pretty soon the elders will be avoiding you- that means you have to start calling them- not at a convenient times- 11pm is nice- Oh bro elder, i am so depressed i can't sleep- can you come over right now and pray with me- in person!! You have the power to make their life miserable- take control- and pretty soon- less than a month- the elders will be hoping you don't ever call them again.

Balaamsass

The Hall? NOT GOOD. They are already loaded for Bear. If you do not show they will press your family for answers...untill they get them and proceed.

Plan a "Surprise" day trip for the family. Hopefully you will find out some info, and the Elders will not. Before leaving, leave a message back "sorry I missed your call, todays a bad time, we had family plans.

Never refuse to meet...just offer alternate times and places FOR THEM. Before work? 5 am? In time other things more interesting for them will arise and they will loose interest in you. Have you thought of changing halls? A great way to fall through the cracks. Out of sight out of mind.

" The best armor is to stay out of range"

If your FAMILY has told elders you are an apostate. You will need to have a serious talk with them and explain the ramifications and how it will affect them.

diamondiiz

Maybe call the elder right away and ask him what it is about because you had plans for tomorrow and want to know what it is all about. Ask why is it at the KH? More you know, the better you can get prepared. If it's a JC the elder will let you know, and you if don't show up, they will send you a registered letter with another meeting date and if you don't show up for that one they will simply df you on the basis of you not showing up. (This is from what I've read from others here, so it's just an observation).

designs

At the Hall you could be asked if you still want to be a JW, that gets to the heart of the matter for a Elder and it does not depend on you being a moral person or not. Be careful or just don't show.

We'll be here for you, you can count on it.

Mickey mouse

Isn't it sad people are forced to play these games?

3rdgen

MM sad indeed

daringhart13

They cannot force you to do anything without your consent.

Say 'no'.......end of story. They only have as much power as YOU give them.

00DAD

designs is right. It could, and likely would, turn into an interrogation at the hall. When I was on investigative committees or Judicial Committees we always had a list of questions prepared. Some overzealous brothers were not very subtle and acted like Medieval Inquisitors.

Here are some thoughts on how you might want to play it if you do meet with them and it starts to go that way:

Act surprised!
Turn things around on them:
- "Whoa, what's with the interrogation? I thought this was a shepherding call!"
  - Humor can be disarming. Keep them off balance. Make them play it your way.
  - Do not play on their field. You will likely lose if you do.
- "Where are we going with this?"
- "Is this how you think Jesus wants you to treat the flock?"
  - Be the wounded sheep
If they accuse you of something, DEMAND TO KNOW THEIR EVIDENCE
- If they say, "Well we heard you said ..." insist on knowing the source. Your response will depend on who told them what.
  - You might respond with, "Well you got it wrong brothers. I never said that. I'm glad we cleared THAT up." Then change the subject, "So did you guys catch the [FILL IN THE BLANK WITH THE LATEST SPORTS] game last night?"
    - Get up and prepare to leave.
  - If they will not name the source, say, "Well then I guess this discussion's over. Thanks for wasting my time." Get up and leave. Be offended (see below). Guilt them, they are familiar with this. They won't like it, but it works.
- Again, act surprised, "Where did you get that crazy idea? You guys been watching too many movies!" then laugh.
  - Consider embarrassing them, making them look foolish, but be careful. This can be dynamite and might blow up in your face. It really depends on the personality of the elders on the JC.
- If their "evidence" is from a congregation member, demand to face them. This is your right even according to WT procedures.
  - Adamantly refuse to continue the discussion until you can "face your accuser". Do not waver. This is essential. The conversation is over.
- If their "evidence" is from one of your family members, go IMMEDIATELY to the next step and call them on usurping your headship
  - Emphatically state that any and all conversations that you may or may not have had with your family members were private. Any attempts that they have made to get your family to speak against you is:
    - Blatant disregard for the headship principle
    - An invasion of privacy
    - None of their business. You absolutely, positively will NOT discuss this with them for another moment.
  - Accuse them of "twisting your words" and being on a witch hunt
    - Openly Question Their Motives!
Be offended, indignant even. Use highly loaded language:
- "What is this, a witch hunt? What's wrong with you guys?"
- "Have you forgotten what century this is?
- "Wow, I thought you wanted to help me."
- "Is this how you always treat people that are discouraged and/or frustrated?"
  - "No wonder meeting attendance and morale are down in our congregation!"
  - "I've been thinking about changing congregations. I think you just made my decision for me!"
Call them on it
- Tell them you resent the way they are treating you
- Point out that you question their motives
  - "I thought you wanted to help me and were concerned about me. Why are you treating me like I've done something wrong?"
- Ask them when they started being suspicious of their brothers and sisters rather than assuming good motives
- Tell them they scare you
  - Make sure that it's them that comes across as paranoid, and not the other way around. This is a fine line to walk.
- Tell them straight out to not play games with you. Make 'em "man up." Most elders cannot and will not do this. All they have is WT authority, no real personal authority when it comes to these sorts of things.
  - BTW, "WT Authority" is invisible just like Christ's alleged presence since 1914. Nothing to be afraid of there!
Be prepared to escalate things
- Insinuate that they are out of control
- Threaten to report them to the C.O.
- Half jokingly say, "Do I need an attorney? Because the way your treating me is making me feel like I do?"
- Threaten legal action
Never, ever lose your cool!
- Use your temper, but don't lose it!
Consider leaving them a dignified way out
- Tell them if they ever want to stop by the house (your house) for a loving, compassionate shepherding call they are welcome. Assuming they can remember how to be Christlike and loving and not wannabe Gestapo members. Otherwise, please just leave me alone.
- Make them feel that they bungled the thing.
Do not be afraid. You are right. They are not. The truth, the REAL TRUTH is on your side.

I am completely serious about all of the above. Of course you would never use all of these ideas or techniques, but you should have these as a minimum in your arsenal should you be unable to avoid a meeting with an "two brothers sent to investigate" or a Judicial Committee.

As you know, I don't advocate lying. But I'm a big fan of "That's None of Your Damn Business."

palmtree67

I think if it were a shepherding call, they'd ask to meet at your home.

The fact that they want to meet at the Hall, suggests it's a JC or the next best thing - a fishing expedition in the hopes you say something to incriminate yourself.

Good luck, please don't let them hurt you.

((()))

serenitynow!

Does anyone else find this situation absurd? Only in JW world would a grown man have to obsess about whether or not to answer the intrusive questions of 3 janitors in bad suits. I hate this stupid cult.

the elders want to meet with me tomorrow

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