the elders want to meet with me tomorrow

by wannabefree 146 Replies latest members private

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  nugget

  So sorry this is no casual invite to encourage but an ambush in the making. Your wife does not agree with you and has already allowed the elders to fill the spiritual void and so who knows what she may have already confided to them. If they have already asked the loaded question then the hunt is on. When things have got to this stage they tend to take on a momentum of their own.i would talk to your wife and ask her what she thinks prompted the sudden interest. If this is a prejudicial she will have already been spoken to. If you can stall but be aware that if they are suspicious it is very difficult to divert the train.

  Doubts are permitted if they are wishy washy, specific criticisms are not. When your spouse is still controlled then you do not have the same freedoms.
• 

  wheres caleb?

  I must be missing something.

  So why are self-appointed elders relevant? There is nothing devine about the title that they give themselves.

  If I call myself an elder, does that mean you have to do what I say or think?

  I embarrass, humiliate, and expose their ignorance any chance I get. COs too. (Good bible knowledge helps.) They don't counsel me or encourage me, I counsel them and it's better than any elder school they have ever gone to. They literally walk away empowered and encouraged to do good.

  The only power they have over you is the power that you choose to give them.

  Witnesses are not thinkers because they allow others to think for them, that's fine, but that is also their weakness. A bully will dominate you only if - he knows he can. They are spiritual cowards!

  How do you see yourself? How do you think the elders see themselves? Which question is more relevant?

  I hope that the first question is the only thing that you care about because self-worshippers do not have the right to rob you of your dignity.
• 

  Soldier77

  Ok, meeting at the hall, nothing mentioned as a JC meeting, so don't panic. This is a fishing expedition for them. They are going to probe you to find out what's going on in your head.

  Take control of the situation. Do not play dumb but do not let them think you are in control. Remember, "innocent as doves, cautious as serpents." They want to engage in Theocratic Warfare with you. Be prepared, use your knowledge of the organization to your advantage. Everything you've read here on these forums should be ammo to use.

  Distract, Divert, Divide. Don't let them focus their attention on any one subject, keep them guessing, keep them moving around so they're in a whirlwind. Do not bring up any of your doubts in a negative manner, in fact, don't even discuss them with the elders. We all know it won't wake any one of them up by bringing out why 607 BCE is wrong. etc.

  Break it down to the core reason they want to meet with you. You have not been at the meetings, no service and your immediate family are involved (since they still go). They want to "encourage you" to come back to Jah's the organizations ever-changing blinding light.
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  PaintedToeNail

  wannabefree-I have no advice to offer, just my best wishes on an outcome that you can live with. All of us here can empathasize with what is happening to you. It is so difficult trying to extricate ourselves from the wreckage our lives have become at the behest of the WTBTS.

  Best, best, best of luck to you!!

  CJ
• 

  Gayle

  wannabe,,what a tough time right now..I agree with the posters here that say, don't go to Hall to meet up with the elders, most likely it is a setup,, "forgive them for they know not what they do,," (yea, they should but they do not),, I know many here suggest giving the "depression" card,,it works for awhile,,they like to know if you are depressed or miserable. They believe if you quit going to meetings you will be miserable.

  Well, for your sake/health, possibly your wife, and especially for your children (I don't know their ages), I say, time now is to pull the "happy" card. They just don't know what to do with that! It irritates the elders. I got so busy taking the kids to so many children activities! How about a 'bowling night' for family,,go for a 3K walk or run,,city-sponsored activities,,etc.

  Stewing and fearing what the elders think, is going nowhere, valueless. Leaving the organization can be bitter for awhile,,but it gradually becomes bitter-sweet,,and sweeter all the time. I never regretted leaving, not for a second.

  You have outgrown the JW world. Take back your life.
• 

  00DAD

  I had some thoughts this morning about RECORDING DEVICES and the possibility of one or more of the elders LOSING THEIR TEMPER ... don't have time to post now. Will come back later with more!

  Daniel
• 

  BluesBrother

  I just wanted to say that 00DAD's advice on page two of this thread (his post 877) is the best darn set of responses I have ever seen !

  I have often thought that this is the way to play it, if or when I find myself in this situation, but he articulates it better than me!

  Good luck with the meeting !
• 

  Balaamsass

  Hope you left for the day, and had a great time. You got some great ideas here.
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  00DAD

  I absolutely agree with Morbidzbaby about the Matthew 5 and/or Matthew 18 strategy should it get to that point. But that will not work if their witness is your wife.

  I think you need to talk to your wife and kids and ask them if they have talked to the elders and, if so, what did they say?
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  EndofMysteries

  You don't have to lie to get them to backoff. If your problem is based off of reading in the bible what contradicts with what you've been taught. PM me for how to handle it if you want to go that approach. (assuming thats the real reason, I can help you how to reason and you can't be dfed or anything then, they would feel way to guilty, so they will just ignore the situation).