In love with a JW... (page 4)

N.drew

What is a flutter on the gee gees?

May I introduce you to Google? It's betting on the horses. When in doubt google. I know you know google. I'm wibbling you New.

N.drew

Hello Christ Alone! Welcome! I think that is good advice. Funny too. Like an egg. Haha!

Christ Alone

Haha, yeah I spelled that whole things wrong. :-)

But it fits!

Sorry that was my first post, but I hate the skeptisism that all relationships will end and marriage seems to be doomed to failure. Which of course it is unless you have the right mind set and desire to make it work. It's for richer and POORER. In SICKNESS and in health.

nugget

think about your relationship from the other side. Did you feel he was in any way unworthy of you because he held different beliefs to yours?

Did you ask him to convert to Cof E to make him acceptable to your friends and family?

Did you have to hide your relationship from them for fear of reprisals?

When your relationship became public who said you should not talk to or see each other? Why should public knowledge be a bad thing?

Your religion freely accepts you for who you are and accepts that you may wish to form a relationship with someone of another faith. Your friends and family love you for who you are and accept people on the basis of how they behave not what they believe. Will your friendfs and family cut off all contact with you if you decided that you no longer wished to be CofE? would they be taught to hate you because you thought differently or because you were unhappy with a point of doctrine?

Jws are a very closed world full of rules and restrictions. Marrying into the world for love may be a huge mistake because you will be the one who must always compromise. You are already being asked to commit to a faith you do not believe in, if you get baptised you will not be able to have a dissenting opinion and you will gradually be discouraged from contact with people who are not witnesses. You will find it is your family and friends you will be expected to loose, your holidays you must give up, your beliefs you must compromise. Love should be about give and take on both sides not one person making all the sacrifices. It is clear you love him but does he truly love you or the you he wants you to be.

I would say if you do not hold his beliefs then your opinion will never count with him. Is this really the basis of a happy marriage? One of you will need to give up everything to be together. By marrying you he looses his family and friends and is dead to them. If you convert and marry him you give up your beliefs and are distanced from your family and friends and will loose the relationships with them you have now. It is an insane choice and until he leaves the cult you are better off appart.

Mickey mouse

An experience recently posted that is insightful to your situation.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/222940/1/My-Experience

Yep, this could be you in a couple of years time ^

N.drew

The edit tool is the yellow pencil top right in case you don't know about that I'm telling you. It will work if it's in the mood for 30 minutes only. Did you mean to post yolk? Then never mind. That is what the egg reference means. I hope you are not easily offended. I Have not seen the spelling police around for a while and I would never mention spelling errors unless there was time left to fix it. Peace!

leavingwt

If you are a Christian, then you need to listen to the council of Paul and let this young man know that you do have feelings, but until he comes to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you cannot continue on your courtship.

Sounds like good, old-fashioned spiritual blackmail. In fact, it sounds precisely like the JWs. Just replace "Paul" with "Governing Body" and "Jesus" with "Jehovah and Baptism".

Welcome!

diamondiiz

Unless he researches wts' past and realizes that he's in a cult and needs to get out and adjust to real world, your best option is to move on with your life. It may be very difficult thing to do but DO NOT GET ATTACHED TO A CULT MEMBER.

If you marry him, you will be the black sheep in his family who may or may not treat you like family member until you actually start showing interest in their beliefs and get baptized. Basically you won't have a real family! When you have a serious relationship with someone you usually join both families together and that just won't happen by marrying a witness. Holidays will all be evil so you may end up fighting over those, if you have kids, he will want them to be JWs which puts them at risk of being restricted to what medical treatments they will get and higher education will not be in their cards.

If he does realize he is in a cult and leaves, he will be shunned by his entire family, your kids won't know their family on his side, or if they do, his family will try to influence your kids.

Their doctrines are always changing so you don't have an idea what radical changes can take place tomorrow and to what extend will your "future" husband follow them.

As you began to study with them, just keep in mind

they misquote others, so you be careful of agreeing with what their publication say
JWs don't know their real history as they depend on what they're told about their past in present publications which also whitewash their past
they will befriend you as long as you study and progress, the day you drop interest in studying with them they and all those friendly with you will also drop you as their association
they will try to avoid your real concerns or questions so make sure you have your concerns and questions fully answered to your satisfaction and don't go on until they answer your concerns/question

Unless he researches wts' past and realizes that he's in a cult and needs to get out and adjust to real world, your best option is to move on with your life. It may be very difficult thing to do but DO NOT GET ATTACHED TO A CULT MEMBER.

ps: This is general description of JWs but he and his family may be one of the very few who are different, but what are the chances of that. Read and learn about the group because you don't want to put yourself in an disadvantaged relationship that you will regret months after marriage.

Christ Alone

You can argue with the Bible, leavingwt, if you want. But it says what it says. If you don't believe it, fine, no one is forcing you to. But the GB is not the apostle Paul. And they are not inspired like Christians believe the Bible is.

In telling Christians not to marry unbelievers, Paul was giving some good advice. As all of us who have been unevenely yoked will attest to, it is very good advice.Obeying the councel leads to less heartache in the long run. It's not black mail since it isn't advice for the unsaved. It's advice for those that are already saved. God doesn't want followers that get pressured into coming to Him. He only accepts the worship of those that give their worship to Him freely and under no compulsion.So even if someone felt blackmailed into coming to God, it would do no good.

N.drew

Sounds like good, old-fashioned spiritual blackmail. In fact, it sounds precisely like the JWs. Just replace "Paul" with "Governing Body" and "Jesus" with "Jehovah and Baptism".

I tend to agree that is sounds like some kind of blackmail. But the organization is nothing like what Jesus Christ is. Aren't they opposite?

Going to church and being a Christ follower is not the same. The Christ leads us the The Living God.

In love with a JW...

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