by CuriousUK 156 Replies latest social relationships
Christ Alone, maybe you need to start your own introductory thread and tell us who you are - rather than just jumping into the deep end of the pool on your first post and telling the original poster what to do.
You sound like you are trying to evangalize here - this is not germaine to the original poster's issue.
Curious - I hope you heed the advice on here. The only alternative to walking away that might work, and I mean only might, is making a deal with him that you will have the study as planned IF he will study the opposing views. Sadly, I think he'll refuse. Compromise with the JWs is a one way street. Kind of tells you what life would be like in that marriage doesn't it?
By the way, I don't take lightly the fact that you love the guy, and I doubt if anyone else does on here. The advice so far is sound and sincere, but you could be about to make a mistake that will mess up your life, seriously.
Loz x
Hi everyone, and many thanks for the responses so far. I have found them absolutely fascinating, and serve to confirm what I thought...
I am really interested in offering him the option to read the Crisis of Confidence book, as previously mentioned I am being expected to give up everything and he is offering nothing. If he is not willing to try and at least understand where I am coming from, when I am open to trying to understand him, then as hard as it will be, I am not sure where he and I can go...
I am assuming that JW in the UK is no different to JW in other countries?
I really appreciate the advice, as I have no experience with JW other than meeting this man. Part of me wondered if he had proposed, just to get another convert? Does that happen?
x
Great response, CuriousUK - I was hoping you would be back and that would be your take on this.
Yes, the JWs are pretty much the same on this issue worldwide - they are a high-control cult. Your boyfriend is being controlled by them and probably does not even have that completely figured out in his own mind.
A good solid stand now - "tough love, it could be called" - will prevent a mountain of sorrow in the future.
BTW - I would be highly skeptical even if he seemingly agrees to leave them, unless he truly sees where they are wrong and is not doing it just to convince you. It is easy for them to lure such people back and make them worse for the wear than they were before.
James
CuriousUK - Hi ! I went through a similar thing to what you are going through right now.
I met this girl and we fell in love and it was great, we really were made for each other.
But after a while they found out about us dating, (the elders in her congregation) and sat her down and basically told her to end it.
Rather than me give you a life story, ill cut it right down to the basics for you -
You have two options: A- you become a JW and marry him. or B- You have to break up.
Those are the only two options you have. You wil never be allowed to date a JW if you are unbaptised yourself.
I had a bible study and it is definetly NOT what i beileve, and i wasn't going to falsely become a JW for her sake.
If you do decide to get baptised just so you can be with him, it WILL be the worst mistake you ever made in your life.
Its not like the Church of England, or the Roman catholics, or other denominations, this is a CULT.
Once baptized, you would have to attend field service, meetings, assemblies etc without question.
All preching you do has to be monitored and timed out in a time card which you must hand in monthly.
This isn't just "going to church once a week" for his sake.
This will take over your life. it will become your LIFE. A JW.
I strongly reccommend you do some research on this religion, its amazingly twisted to sound liek the "truth" but they are far from it.
But this is just MY personal opinion, you need to do research and make up your own mind, and not what others tell you. You may accept it as truth, but as i say.. do research befroe you do anything, including a bible study.
IF you do decide to go ahead with their bible study AKA indoctrination process, just know you are allowing yourself to be brainwashed, and beilve me it does tear you up inside.
I wish you the best of luck...
dm6
CuriousUK
Hope you are still reading.....
Have you ever been to a JW meeting?
You will of course be expected to do so each week. Tuesday or Thursday night (7pm - 8:45pm) and Sunday (10am - 11:45am) or afternnon or evening. You will also be expected to prepare the material for these meetings.
When you attend the KH you will be DICTATED TO as to what you can wear. Forget that snazzy trouser suit you wear for work, don't even think of jeans. It will be a dress or skirt, and not that little black number that finishes six inches above your knees. You will have to check the neckline when bending, nothing like a bit of cleavage to get the elders steaming.
How's your hair? Nothing wild I hope, must as per Apostle Paul's instuctions. Piercings, other than the odd ear ring type are really frowned upon so don't plan on attending wearing that short t-shirt to show off your new belly button stud. Tattoos were not allowed 3500 years ago for the Jews so they are still out.
Heard about door to door work? That's when you go out to convert new members; aim for around 10 hours per month like hubby to be. Dress code as per meetings. This dress code also applies if you visit any WTS facility such as a printing factory.
We're only trying to help girl.
George
Hi,
I've never been to a meeting, but have done a lot of research on the internet over the last few days. The biggest part I would feel uncomfortable with is going door to door - I have never believed in, what I see as, forcing religion on someone else. I have always preferred to live a good Christian life, and be open to people asking me about it if they were interested.
My other HUGE issue I have is that when we first dated and were split up by the KH in our town, is that he came very close to disfellowshipping (which to this day I wish had happened but for purely selfish reasons). Why could a religion throw someone out, when in the Church of England, we would do everything we could to support that person through their "sin" and help them? I understand it is to preserve the moral fibre of the congregation, but it just seems wrong coming from my perspective.
I have never had a problem with him being JW - it doesn't affect how I love him, and my family and friends would (and do) welcome him as just another person.
This is all genuinely fascinating, thank you. It's wonderful to find people with real experiences of this, and not just words on a published internet page.
I also should say that I work in technical theatre - I am a touring stage manager for a production company, and spend a lot of time away from home. I fear that I would be required to give up the job that I love for something more locally based to my KH (if I chose that route in life)?
I understand it is to preserve the moral fibre of the congregation, but it just seems wrong coming from my perspective.
Please, please, please keep your own perspective in mind when listening to them.
Someone once said "No-one chooses to join a cult".
I also should say that I work in technical theatre - I am a touring stage manager for a production company, and spend a lot of time away from home. I fear that I would be required to give up the job that I love for something more locally based to my KH (if I chose that route in life)?
You would absolutely be pressured 24/7 to give up that job. You would be pressured to go into full-time preaching work door to door. By the way - you DO realize that this cult believes that within (at the most) ten years or so - their God is going to come down here to earth and KILL EVERY MAN, WOMAN, and CHILD who are not active JWs? The SHEER INSANITY of that doctrine should keep any intelligent and reasonably thinking person away from this cult.
