by EdenOne 91 Replies latest jw experiences
It's emotional, alright. No rationalism or logic or evidence in the world is going to persuade someone emotionally attatched to the Organization, to the brethren, to the social aspects of the congregation routines. The break in the emotional bond is a breakthrough, and it offers a narrow window of opportunity for TTATT work its wonder. After that, the emotional pull returns and the window of opportunity closes.
Eden
Over 6 Pages of replies!!
You can see how loved you are here EdenOne!!
Yes, your situation is keenly felt by many of us, and we sincerly empathise with you.
Just ensure that you maintain those good, kind and loving qualities that define "you". And remember those good qualities your dear wife has.
I'm sure it is just a phase she has been drawn into as a result of the emotional upheavals in her life. (sorry about her mum's loss in death too!)
Keep in touch with us all here. This is a place of UNCONDITIONAL support...not false conditional friendship like the cong...
Hyperreligiosiy can be a symptom of bipolar disorder! It can feel like a "high" or it can also feel like self-medication for a depressive phase.
Please research this to see if this sounds like what she's doing and, if so, talk to her doctor!
This is how I grew up, though my mother ultimately got a different diagnosis. She literally used the religion like a drug. And you can't really reason with that.
It sucked, big time. Please look into this possibility for your child's sake.
Spelling correction: hyper-religiosity.
For some reason, I can't edit on my Samsung tablet.
Thanks so much for your lovely response to my (perhaps impertinent) comments, EdenOne.
I so appreciate that everyone's situation is different and can see how distressing this is for you. Go easy! Hopefully your wife will settle down as time passes. Speaking of time, it's on your side - the more it passes, the more the organization's reputation crumbles.
Eden,
My heart breaks for your situation my man. So much progress, and she just ends up doing jumping jacks in the quicksand because its familiar. Her mental state is a huge factor in this. What she has done (right or wrong), is familiar to her, and comes with ready mix just add meetings and stir...."friends".
Of course reality is very different from this world, but she is foregoing it.
I personally agree with the advise to love-bomb her on your own. Let her bring it up. Be a great husband. Smile, joke, love her, and be open. Respect what she is telling you, keep your anger in check, and the opportunity WILL arise to talk with her some more. When it does, appeal to what you already know, and don't unload the barrels on her.
I don't really know you guys so who can say what will or will not work. But if you love her.....then love her. Love her the same way you would if she was dealing with an illness she had no control over. Does that make sense? In the mean time, if you are happy as an introvert, no problem. Make an effort, go out with her, and make plans. Go out and do stuff. Movie, walks, take yoga together. Ha!
It's hard to imagine what more can I do for her to be a great husband. I've always been this way, and part of the problem is that she takes me absolutely for granted, that, no matter what, I'll stick by her side. I could see it was a shock for her when I told her that another betrayal ( read: spying on me and report to the elders ) would terminate our marriage. I think she took it to heart, but in this fallback it's unpredictable how she will behave.
In any case, 6 pages of encouragement! I'm humbled by your kind support and will never forget that you were here for me when I most needed. Thank you so much.
Eden
my wife has always been my tie to a social life.
Ha, that also resonates a lot with me. I'm not indifferent to social life, but I'm comfortable in small numbers and with parcimony. In a way it also hurts that she goes back to her instant, ready-made friends, while I'm left to build new relationships when I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to making new friendships.
Eden
