Should I just DA or get DFD? (page 2)

Julia Orwell

Punk, you are my official motivational speaker!! Yes! I can do it!

punkofnice

Julia - I am crap at taking my own advice though, except on this. This is exactly what I did. I live honestly, openly and if they don't like it they can f.....f.....f......fly off!

jgnat

By the way, Julia, Blondie's husband played interference for her as well. Theirs was a successful exit. No drama, no urgent meetings, just gone.

This latest episode may be just what you need to justify no further contact.

bats in the belfry

If you need to keep in touch with family, disassociate by 'heart' and 'mind', never verbally or in writing.

JW friends are like facebook friends - they will 'un-friend' (revoke) friendship with you in a split second.

Then, of course, on your expiration date (lest the big A not come beforehand) your status instantly will change

from 'great crowd' member to 'great' and/or 'small' member deserving of a JW resurrection - should you still care at that point (Revelation 20:12, 13).

Julia, you notice that you get stressed out when you deal with these people, right?. Eliminate the stressors. Stop dealing with them. Fall off the grid. They can't bother you if they can't find you. Who cares what they say about you, you are no longer a part of the madness.

I wanted to DA at one point and say I want to have nothing to do with them, it took me a while to comprehend how that was playing by their rules and control. But when you walk away they can't label you. If you don't give them any ammnunition, they can't shoot you. YOU are in control. Refuse to give them any more of your time, energy and power.

I can tell you're a firecracker. Burn that JW bridge and use the fire to light your way to a better life, girlfriend!

Honesty

Ignore them, Julia.

Every damn one of them is a control freak and they want you to be their mental slave.

Don't play their DA game either.

I was DA'd (not DF'd) in absentia after I told them that the GB members are false prophets, I'm not

going back to the hall and don't bother calling me or stopping by to visit.

Oubliette

I posted this on your other thread, but I'll respost it here in response to your new OP:

In one of your earlier posts you said you were mad at your husband for not standing up for you. I think you should reconsider. It sounds like he was right by your side throughout your confrontation with your friend and "the heavy." That he didn't speak out against the JW lies doesn't mean he didnt' stand up for you.

Arguments like this are unwinnable with a cult-indoctrinated individual. It seems you had to get this out of your system and experience it first-hand to see the futility of it.

Your dad is right, "Get df'd and get it over with. "

Unless you have family members left in the cult, you're much better off out of it! Who do you have in the cult?

sspo

Why don't you just walk away and not DA or DF and spread the word that you do not want to meet or talk to any elder.

From English congregation i switched to a Spanish congr. even though i could not speak Spanish, and after a few weeks i started missing meetings

and had a beautiful fade. It's been 7 years,never been bothered since.

No DA or DF.

Designer Stubble

Have a DA letter for should they pursue the issue - write it and make it good. Keep in as an ace up your sleeve. Try to continue to fade for now, if that does not work you can hand the DA letter - not while emotional state. Good Luck!

Comatose

Julia, I feel like I know you in a way over the past several months. So sorry for your ordeal. Please know we care and feel for you. You may not be DFd at all over this. My two cents are that what was said was done not in front of two elders from your Cong if I understand correctly. The actual first step would be for two elders from your hall to either ask to meet with you or to ask you to repeat things that are df worthy. So just don't talk to them anymore.

Should I just DA or get DFD?