Hey Man, good for you. I think i mentioned here a while ago that my wife has started coming around. She is kind of on her own fade. Pioneered 17 years (we are in our mid 30's), served in foreign countries, all that jazz. Her entire family are "heavies". So she is processing with fear. That is normal.
Your wife will respond to a strong lead. Avoid looking "unsteady" even if that is how you feel. You understand her mentality because at one time you had it. You still may not feel the same way about thingsshe does, but the point is to get her to think.
Like this. I think blood is indefensible. My wife isn't sold. Her hot button is disfellowshipping over not agreeing with the slave, and how apostates are spoken down to. Finally one day she just stopped going to meetings. It was just awesome. But she has cried. She fears she will lose her family (which they would just cut her right off), and her friends (some yes some no). She even had a nightmare where she felt guilty because she was making new friends.
Your wife is your priority. Without bringing her along, the kids will always be split. Do it softly. When you are discouraged, maybe you cna bring up a doctrinal point you are "trying to understand". Never approach her with your mind made up. That will bring on the defense.
As far as your fade, looks like its going well. Each fade is unique. The thing about a fade is that the influence lingers. I haven't been in a hall in a year almost, but it still is kind of all around me. I see the unique appeal of DAing....although I still think it isn't wise.
One of the very best things you can do is to be an awesome father and husband. All of that will speak volumes. Just be better. Not at meetings, but everywhere else! Then, start not going more and more, but inviting your wife and family more and more to go out for dinner, or to a museaum, or to play n the park after dark or whatever is cool in your neck of the woods. Then you will see the right opportunity to bring something up....or better yet.....she may do it! Don't go to fast. Try to anticipate what is important to her.
Thats my 2 cents. But congrats my man.