Jonza said:
Incognito: I understand her situation and why she has to keep me secret, especially with everything she's willing to give up to be with me.
That does not answer the question I asked. If you don't wish to publically state how YOU FEEL, at least be honest with yourself and with her.
Being with you (Marrying you -an unbeliever) is not a disfellowshipping offense although it is not looked upon favourably. Sex while unmarried is a disfellowshipping offense but she has been keeping that under wraps.
What is it you think she is willing to give up to be with you?
As it's so easy for her to mislead her family and the people she considers as representing God's organization, how much easier will it be to mislead you when a situation is difficult for her?
There's no way I'd let my kids hear how their Dad worships satan/demons and is part of a world wide false religion.
You haven't heard the talks that 'warn' JWs, (kissing, being married to, having sex with) an unbeliever, is equal to (kissing, being married to, having sex with) a corpse since the unbeliever will soon die at Armageddon.
She just says we're not having any then... So given that, should I still move forward with this relationship?
A relationship should not be dependant on children. If you don't have a strong base to start with, you cannot provide a good, stable and happy environment for yourselves much less any children that may come about.
The thought of no kids with me has made her emotionally distraught, just like I thought it would. The only conslusion I can think of is that we can have them, but not be brought up in her religion.
Based only upon a hypothetical situation, you already agree to compromise to give-in to manipulation.
With the caveat that they don't celebrate Christmas, mostly no tree/decorations except they are allowed to get and open presents on Christmas day (I'm not sure how else she thinks we celebrate it, maybe bowing down to the Christmas tree or something lol), I can live with that.
Another compromise to keep peace even though you don't understand the reason behind it.
I believe the main reason for no tree, no lights etc, these things are usually visible to the outside of the home or are impossible to hide, thereby making Christmas celebration very obvious, especially to members of her congregation and family who may pass-by or drop-in.
Presents OTOH, are lower key as they will remain a 'secret' sin as they can be easily hidden from plain sight. I already doubt that gift wrappings if any, will have a Christmas theme. I also doubt the children will be able to state what they 'got for Christmas'.
As Laika stated, there are other holidays in addition to Christmas which are taboo to JWs. As there are often associated activities in school including daily opening ceremonies, what else will you be expected to compromise to? (Awww pleeeeease - for me- just this one thing!)
In addition to her expectations and requirements, you will also need to deal with the expectations and requirements of her JW parents. It could be three against you with you portrayed as the 'bad' and unreasonable one. Your children will be confused as they will be told the fun things you advocate, make Jehovah 'sad'. (see this video of a JW cartoon movie about 'Caleb')
Relationships are already hard enough without being made more difficult due to baggage from a cult upbringing. Although I have no doubt your GF is sincere in stating she will allow certain things which she had been brought up to believe were 'bad', she has not given full consideration to future outcomes although she now seems to think that whatever can be hidden from other people is OK.
The indoctrination is so deep rooted, this cult will become a larger focus especially after she has had children and after experiencing any other major life event (ie: major illness or death of a close relation).
If you think this topic consumes much time and energy now, you haven't seen anything yet.
Unless she herself recognises the religion is BS, there is little you or anyone else can do to change her attitude or mindset.
Good luck in how you proceed!
