Are the MEN apostates more imp. than the WOMEN?

by LDH 119 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LDH

  ISP you may well be right, that remark is subject to too much interpretation.

  Cynthia, more like I spend about an hour a day here. I was hoping that during the course of my stay here my family would 'see the light' and I could post a wonderful goodbye to you all, and be on my merry way. I have been biding my time, hoping that at least ONE of my family members would stop this ridiculous shunning bullshit.

  Instead, my parents have become even more resistant to hearing about the damage the WBTS has done to so many families, including their own. They have poured salt in open wounds as it were, by refusing to acknowledge ONE BIT of wrongdoing on the WBTS part. They and the rest of my relatives wish me to believe it is all 'my fault' and the reason I'm not a JW has nothing to do with them. It's because I'm a depraved worldling who can't live up to God's righteous standards.

  My method of appealing to their heart has not worked, and as any good Army General will tell you, I need to change tactics quickly in order not to lose this war.

  I now believe it is time for me to fight fire with fire, and believe me, that is a side of me most of you have never seen, and you are lucky for it!

  Lisa

  Amazon Warrior Class
• 

  Lady Lee

  In Canada I can think of a couple of women who have done a lot to help people out of the borg Grace/Mouthy is one of them. She has run a support group for those leaving for a long time now. She has been interviewed a couple of times that I know of. One audio interview is on-line and the other was an hour long interview for a documantary film series The Walking Wounded. I seem to have lost the link for that so Grace if you still have it I would love to know where that link is.

  Grace did the second of three interviews. The first was Dr Penton and I was the third. I have spoken publically on numerous occasions and wrote a column for an ex-cult newsletter for a while. Plus I do my bit whereever I can on the net including my web page.

  I think that it isn't so much that the women aren't doing it - we just aren't so militant about it and therefore get overlooked. Reality is the loudest usually get most of the attention. That being said I plan to get louder
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  Brymichmom

  Lisa, for me it took 17-18 years of shunning. It was awful to be shunned by my parents for so long. After all that time, they finally decided to start speaking to me again. We talk and visit now, but never mention religion. Part of the reason for their change I think was that they are getting older (69, 70) and they never knew their grandchildren.

  I have a feeling that my parents are tired of being JW's but are too pig-headed to admit it. In April when I visited them in AZ, I spied upon some "medical power of attorney" documents in the corner of the room that were not filled out. I visited them again about 6 weeks later, and the documents were still there untouched.

  I don't feel angry with my parents for not speaking to me. I am angry that the WT has so much control over them. When I first left the WT, I tried every method there was to try to get them to listen. Nothing worked. So I kept quiet for 17-18 years. Now they act as though nothing happened and they go out to dinner with me. Weird, huh?

  Cynthia
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  Prisca

  JanG

  Ros

  Barbara Harrison

  Barbara Anderson

  just to name a few.......

  Maybe there is the perception that women aren't "in the forefront" like the male apostates, simply because they don't feel the need to make a big deal out of what they do. Women are more likely to go and do things quietly, to make sure things get done, whilst the men are more likely to rally up support and publicise what they are doing.

  As others have said, women apostates are more the nurturers than being the analytical thinkers. Not to say that women can't be the thinkers, but perhaps they understand the need for emotional support, which is just as important as intellectual information.

  Personally, I'm involved in organising Apostafests here in Australia.

  That's my contribution to helping people out of the Borg, or to give support to those who have already left. Because it's easy to leave intellectually, it's another to have left emotionally.

  In my opinion, the female apostates are doing just as much as the male apostates on this board have done.
• 

  BeautifulGarbage

  Lisa,

  You obviously have a quick wit and a sharp intellect. Whatever your aim is, be it enlighening your family, or helping strangers, you have to do what brings you meaning and purpose.

  I wish you well, whatever you decide is the best direction for you.

  Andee
• 

  LDH

  Again, thank you for your thoughts.

  Another factor may be that the culture of the JW we all know women had NO ACCESS to inside information.

  To this day letters that are passed on to Kent are de facto provided by men!!! Women have never (until the internet) seen the Pay Attention book, nor the disfellowshipping forms, etc.

  The ones to whom much has been given, much is expected, no?

  Lisa
• 

  LDH

  So I kept quiet for 17-18 years.

  Girl, wierd isn't the word for it. HURTFUL is the word for it.

  Andee, it's not that I'm thinking of leaving here. Just seriously curtailing my activities here so that I can spend some time utilizing my talents in blowtorching Brooklyn's ass.

  I do think and hope that I've been some encouragement here. I'd hate to think it was more wasted time.

  I got the impression that Shaun is a woman, too, Waiting.

  THANK YOU to everyone who has added to the list of women who have struck a blow for all ExJWs.

  Prisca, is that a 'party' or a 'gathering' you're organizing, and which elder will be 'in charge of the feast", LOL!!!?

  Lisa
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  obiefernandez

  Lisa,

  Thanks for putting me on your list. I'm honored! I can comment on my situation with Arlene, my ex-wife. She's an extremely intelligent, articulate woman. And she hates the cult just as much as I do. In fact, she got to the point where she didn't want *anything* to do with Witnesses whatsoever, and that includes the ex-jw community online. So, in other words, she has the capability to be a world-class apostate but she chooses not to do so, because she's moving on. She's not obsessed with it the way that I am. If part of it is a male/female thing then perhaps that has something to do with what you're talking about.

  Obie

  Please help me publicize http://exjw.meetup.com
• 

  plmkrzy

  it was only thru the eyes of my wife did i even while as an elder see the need to help the sisters feel good about themselves,

  JT

  This was one of big turn offs in my last congergation. There was a clear division between the elders wives and the plain and ordinary publisher wives. BUT, the absolute worst was the hudge gap between all of them combined against///oops, I mean and the women with unbelieving mates. Even though they were auxillery pioneers and out numbered anyone else ESPECIALLY elders wives, in home bible studies, they were snubbed. Look upon as only 1/2 a person. I can remember some snooty old hags even having the colossal gawl to pity them. It was like listening to someone say about another, "You work so hard and so many hours spreading the good news, gee it's too bad that you don't REALY count." There were quite a few in my last congergation who had "unbelieving" mates and that was a group in itself.

  JANH

  I like everything you said.

  It's hard for women to be single in any congregation and have a brain. The whole being in subjection thing is like a dark cloud that never goes away no matter what the weather is. Kinda like camp Pendleton If you are female and single then you are automatically in the market for a husband even if you are not. There was a place to put you in the congregation so depending on what category you fit into you could have as many as twenty or thirty friends or as few as one or two. But there was a clear place and mingling out side of you designated circle was only slightly tolerated and it doesn't take long to figure out where you are suppose to fit.

  I had a really hard time because the only other women with unbelieving mates were auxiliary pioneers, I was NOT. So even though I was welcome to visit and attend various bible studies etc... I didn't have enough in common to go out for lunch or shopping. That left a few single working moms to hang out with and go clubbing with once in awhile. Girls night out. But since I was attached and they were not that made for another big gap.

  It seems to be something that doesn't want to go away even after leaving. Years after leaving
• 

  patio34

  I don't know why I feel compelled to post to this thread. It's a fascinating subject and has perplexed me for a while why some of the really "heavy hitters" seemed to be male. When I first left the borg, I read stuff that Randy Watters, JanH, AlanF, Osarif, and others had written and that really helped me. But I don't know why it seems to have been written mostly by men. Also, The Orwellian World of JWs was authored by a man.

  Larc's assessment of the difference between males and females may have a bearing:

  the men tend to write more on the analytical, technical subjects, and women tend to spend more time on interpersonal issues, and giving nurturance to those who are suffering. I think both types of posters are useful and necessary.

  My own feelings are that a woman loses a great deal of productive time by bearing and raising children. They tend to be all-consuming to women more than men, in my personal observances. Maybe that's what gave rise to the quip: "The reason for homosexuality is so that the gifted are not burdened by children."

  Now, I'm going out on a limb here, but I simply don't have the skills necessary to dissect WT stuff the way the above writers have. I do have many skills, I'm sure, but don't believe I could come close to them, even if I did devote a great deal of time to research. Well, maybe I could do a little if I had more education in some areas, but frankly, I don't care enough to find out.

  I have seen many many interesting intelligent posts on this board by females (Scully, Dungbeetle, Amnesian, Waiting, Ginny Tosken and others), and I'm sure women have as much gray matter as the men.

  So, in answer to Lisa's question, my answer is "I don't know, but have thought about it myself."

  Edited by - Patio34 on 22 June 2002 0:46:27