Just a few more

by BugEye 139 Replies latest social humour

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    Whats the difference between a vulture and a lawyer?

    The vulture doesnt get frequent flyer points

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    Whats the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

    When you die, the leech drops off!

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    Whats the difference between broccoli and snot?

    You cannot get kids to eat broccoli!

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    'I may be 87 but I still make love nearly every night.'

    'bullshit'

    'No, s'truth.'

    'I nearly made it on Monday, I nearly made it on Tuesday ...'

  • Scorpion
    Scorpion

    ROTFLOL

    I have'nt read this thread in a while.

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for
    their teacher.

    The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and
    said "I bet I know what it is — it's some flowers!"

    "That's right!" shouted the little boy.

    Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She
    held it up, shook it and said "I bet I know what it is — it's a box of
    candy!"

    "That's right!" shouted the little girl.

    The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held
    it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger
    and tasted it.

    "Is it wine?" she asked.

    "No," the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her
    tongue.

    "Is it champagne?" she asked.

    "No," the boy answered.

    ''What is it?"

    "A puppy!"

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty bad. The morgue
    needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and
    Gomer were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the
    sheet. Daryl said, ''Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.'' The
    mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, ''Nope, ain't Bubba.'' The
    mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in
    to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, ''Yup, he's
    burnt real bad, roll him over.'' The mortician rolled him over and
    Gomer said, ''No, it ain't Bubba.'' The mortician asked, ''How can you
    tell?'' Gomer said, ''Well, Bubba had two assholes.'' ''What? He had two
    assholes?'' said the mortician. ''Yup, everyone in town knew he had two
    assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes
    Bubba with them two assholes.''

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    How does herpes leave the hospital?

    On crotches.

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
    A: Wow! You really do taste like chicken.

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

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