Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories (page 8)

I cannot charectarize every elder as evil because of the comments of this one elder. I know many, many elders that are the complete opposites of that one elder and that would have listened to the events you remembered.

agree. I believe that there are many elders who would listen and not condemn a victim of pedophilia. The question is, what would they say? What would be the elder's counsel?

I agree with you TeeJay and I think BigTex answered your question on page 4 of this thread, they threaten to disfellowship them (the victims) if they talk about their abuse.

BigTex, your post had me going from tearing up to wanting to rip someones head off and hooking the hole to the city sewer system. The place where I was employed for the better part of 30 years would have advised you to get professional help and the company insurance would have paid for your care, and they don't claim to be Jehovah's organization, but they are a business and so is the wts. The wts has got to be the most uncaring bunch I have ever been exposed to in my life.

Sword of Jah, If you are truely sorry about what happened to BigTex , work to change the system the society has in place so others won't suffer as he has. However, you can't do that, can you? You would soon be disfellowshipped. Can't you see the terrible things this organization is doing??

waiting

agree. I believe that there are many elders who would listen and not condemn a victim of pedophilia. The question is, what would they say? What would be the elder's counsel?

I agree also. And it's great to find an elder who will listen.....as a comforting friend.

The problem is - jw's and elders are trained that they can give more than just comfort & bible counsel - even though the WTBTS puts in writing "elders will share scriptures." All jw's know that elders do give counsel, etc - and jw's expect that - as that's what the WTBTS *really* teaches.

Until the plumber elder is wrong - and then the WTBTS says that "all elders are untrained volunteers."

Then the abuse victim is screwed again.

waiting

I just reread this thread - a lot of great insight & information. This is a great example of "assimilation" and accommodation" - I just didn't copy the poster's name. Sorry - and I added paragraphs. THANKS.

"No memory is 100% accurate because the purpose of memory is to build a world-view rather than to provide accurate facts. So, in order to remember anything, we have to weave it into our current understanding of the world.

In the ed biz this is known as assimilation (we use new information/experience to strengthen, broaden, or deepen our current understanding. What we absolutely HATE to do is what's known as accommodate--change how we understand the world to accommodate new information/experience. That's where a lot of denial comes in, as Lady Lee points out. If I am to believe that a grandfather could rape a 3 or 4 year old child, I have to change what I believe about human experience and that is much too hard. So I deny your experience. I look for ways to bolster what I already believe. Much better to hurt you than to have to completely re-think how I view humans! " (page 1 or 2)

Frannie Banannie

Big Tex, I appreciate the strength it took you to post your story of recovered memories.....I posted my story of childhood abuse on my website just before Bill Bowen started the Silent Lambs website, so I know how it feels to stick your neck out and reveal early vulnerabilities.....my heart goes out to you, BT....and you have a wonderful wife who's standing strong beside you....I did what you did....it wasn't long before I found I could take my story offline....and let go...and I'm better for having realized that....and learning to let go, too....Thanks for sharing, BT.

Hugs,

Frannie B

Big Tex

Until the plumber elder is wrong - and then the WTBTS says that "all elders are untrained volunteers."

Or until the plumber elder says something that contradicts the beloved organization (read: God). I found a couple of elders who listened quite compassionately. They were good guys trying to do the right thing. I could see how frustrated they were that they could not help, but the problem was beyond them, and ultimately unsolvable by JW standards. More service and meetings just wasn't going to make it better. I'm glad you found someone who listened.

waiting, is what you posted in red copied from this thread? I looked and couldn't find it. Maybe I'm repressing.

Thanks Frannie. I'm sorry you experienced anything bad. You seem like a real sweetie to me.

Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

Share this