This is why I'm Disappointed....

by Nickey 80 Replies latest jw friends

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  SYN

  Very interesting post, Nickey.

  I can really see where you're coming from.

  One important thing to remember is, as others have already noted, that this board is really a mishmash of people. IMO some of the best members of this forum only post very rarely and spend most of their time lurking.

  With that in mind, I wouldn't send a "doubter" to this site first - I would send them to Freeminds and mail them a copy of Crisis of Conscience, as Gopher noted. After that, it's up to them.

  Oh, and I'd send them regular scandal updates

  That's pretty much all I have to say on this topic.
• 

  DanTheMan

  I can understand where you're coming from, and indeed playing pranks on JW's is probably the sort of behavior that is shocking to a believing JW.

  I find this board to be pretty mild most of the time. I'd hate for it to become deceptive and Kingdom-Hallish, like Abaddon stated.

  JWO is the site I worry about current JW's stumbling across. Utterly foul.
• 

  Maverick

  You have some valid points. But this is an OPEN forum. Some good, some bad, some fluff, some dirt. Not unlike the general population in the world. And unlike a closed, rigid society, you will be exposed to all of it, most all the of the time. You have an idea of what this forum should be. The JW's have ideas about how everything should be. As a result you feel disappointed. Hopefully, in time you will make the adjustment to taking things as they ARE. As in all areas of life, take what works for you and leave the rest. I am not trying to slam you, (if you could hear my tone, you would hear a voice filled with compassion and kindness.) But we are adults here, not the little children the J-duds Masters treat their flock as. No one is sheltered and spoon fed information that has been chopped, pressed, and whipped with their own version of the facts. The food offered here is still on the hoof or wing and you have to hunt it down and dress it yourself! Welcome to the real world, darling! Maverick
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  Abaddon

  Dan; by heavily moderated I meant this board!
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  AlanB

  Nicky, (everyone)

  I agree, and have felt the same myself, even though I have been out for more that 10 years now and only recently started visiting this board.

  My initial visits to Ex JW sites I found two categories that I did not wish to associate with.

  - Hate sites. Negitive vibes, there are a lot of JW's I grew up with, very few I still visit at times and are good people, there are hypocrites of course but a lot of them are good people. I will not tolerate this and hatred of ex JW's is as bad in my view as hatred of Jew's, Gay's or other races.

  - Petty Sites. I really do not care what the WT June 15th 1895, half way down paragraph 15 on page 20. When compared to the scripture about the colour of jesus sandles says. I dont have time for it.

  On the other hand..... There are some good sites out there with a positive attitude and can be supportive. I generally find this one on the whole to be good, although at times I do get concerned. We must remember We do have some responsibility.

  - We must consider how first timers will see what we say. We do not wish to confirm all their fears.
  - We must consider that the posting guidelines clearly state.... Inciting hatred on the basis of race, religion, gender, nationality or sexuality or other personal characteristic. Religion applies to JW's as well.
  - We do ourselves a dis-service if we post lies, If I read something that I may later wish to mention to my JW family, I want to be sure of my facts rather than be accused of reading apostate lies.

  Lets not fall into the apostate stereotype. If we believe we are right in our decision to leave the JW's then lets prove them wrong by posting with respect and honsty.

  Sorry to get all heavy..... A
• 

  Frannie Banannie

  Hi, Nickey.....You've made some excellent points about JWD's content and its usefulness where JWs seeking info and answers is concerned....

  Perhaps it would be better in the future to direct them to Randy's "freeminds.org" where they can readily find what they are seeking without all the attendant socializing that JWD posters engage in here....JWD is, after all, a place where xdubs can come to socialize, as well as gather pertinent info and have their questions answered.

  Frannie B
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  Nosferatu

  They find posts about "What Rumor to start about JW's." with AIDS jokes. Or Christmas pranks to do at the Kingdom halls.

  I'll admit that I've been guilty with stuff like this. The thing is, it's all to give people a cheap laugh. I'd never actually do the stuff mentioned in these threads. The whole reason behind posts like this is, we've never been able to make jokes about the activities at the KH or JWs in general. "How dare you say that about Jehovah's people, Jehovah's house" etc. Basically, we were gagged from looking at our situation in a humorous way. This is a place where we can actually let our minds and comments be free. If we keep looking at our JW past as a dark moment in our life, we'll want to block it out. However, if we look at our past in a humorous aspect, we won't continually be ashamed of our past - and that will make us much more happy people in our present day.
• 

  flower

  Nickey,

  I used to feel exactly like you..in fact I'm sure somewhere in the archives is a post similar to yours started by yours truly. Its shocking to someone that is a jw or just leaving. The jokes, the disagreements, all the negativity here.

  What will happen in time, if you give the people here a chance, is you will find that you are able to ignore all that stuff if you want to. And you will find that on certain days you will want to join in on it. Theres nothing wrong with laughing about how nieve and stupid we were when we believed the world was gonna magically transform and dead people were gonna just materialize again. You will find that laughter and mockery are just as theraputic as disputing the beliefs we used to have.

  I still have to agree that at times it gets to be overwhelming the amount of junk that you have to sift through at times. But that comes with the territory hon.

  I think at times the negativity outwieghs the positive for certain people and then its time to take a break. I've done so myself. But at other times the positive outweighs the negative.

  Hopefully you will be able to see more of the positive. And hopefully some of the people here who contribute to the negative feeling on the board will see your post and try take into consideration the fact that jw's stumble here searching for the truth.

  flower
• 

  cruzanheart

  Nickey, when I took my first tentative, scared steps away from the WTBTS, I didn't come first to this board. My husband, Big Tex, introduced me to http://pub208.ezboard.com/bbeyondjehovahswitnesses, which at the time (I haven't been on it in a long time, so I don't know what it's like now) was a very gentle way to talk with ex-JWs. (You might want to check that out as a first step for someone thinking of leaving the organization.) Then he told me about this site but warned me that it could be a little boisterous at times. Once I started posting here I never looked back -- I absolutely LOVE the fact that people will come here and post everything from blond jokes to in-depth analyses of Watchtower teachings. I love variety, and I love watching people who have been repressed for so many years express themselves each in their own way. Hey, we even have our very own resident Messiah, JCanon! No one forces me to post on a thread and I usually stay away from the controversial ones.

  I understand that this may shock some who are fresh from the warm prison of the Kingdom Hall, but maybe they're just not ready to accept the real world yet and appreciate its diversity.

  Love,

  Nina
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  Brummie

  Nicky we are all a bag of emotions, the Watchtower shakes us all up like spaghettie and we have to unravel at our own pace, the unravelling of our emotions are displayed in various ways and its pretty evident who here is still unravelling from the hurt and trauma, sometimes this can be seen as bitterness and anger instead of regret and remorse, its a thin line.

  It would be nice to be able to make a place where JWs could just come in and feel at home, however its very hard to please these people so whatever we did there would be a reason to accuse us all of something. They are a special needs people and hard to please to say the least.

  One thing, its good to see you are still here and in the meantime I hope they unravel a bit more and come back.

  Brummie