This is why I'm Disappointed....

by Nickey 80 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  waiting

  Hello Nickey,

  You've said what others have said since this board began.......and others said it about H20..........and others say it about *other boards* too.

  It's a fact of life.......no forum of 10/100/1000 posters - who don't know each other - can post positive about all things all the time.

  Other forums bash this place for being moderated........your family member was appalled that it was not like a KH.

  Where's the middle ground to be found? Actually, the middle moves......like the old saying "The pendalum swings......." Right now? I think this board is waaaaaaaay quiet, polite & civilized. Tad too much sometimes, imho. But for a jw newbie? Well, no board can please all posters.

  If your family friend is that appalled by reading a conservative xjw forum......perhaps they just weren't ready? They have to make decisions too. I have xjw friends who NEVER post on forums - they don't care for this type of communication. Books, in that instance, have been the answer.

  Crisis of Conscience, although historically not thorough, is a great book for a questioning JW.

  waiting
• 

  stillajwexelder

  Great post -- a lot of good points -- yse there are some bitter ex-witnesses on here BUT A lot of ex-jw's have been VERY BADLY hurt by the WTBTS or elders etc and humor is part of their healing process. But you are correct -- some of the threads -- and I am guilty are a little on the sily side --but you will find Simon is an excellent moderator and does his best. Please stay around
• 

  willy_think

  Hi Nicky,

  i don't open threads like the ones you would have banned from JWD much, but if i do and think i have somthing funny to add i will, even though some people take everything seriously. I will not subjecate myself to active JWs, i don't do it in person and i wont do it here. i'm very sorry you brought people here before they were ready and i understand the problems that are going to resulte from the choices you have made, but puting the blame on us is not appropriate. JWD is not exit counseling.
• 

  JamesThomas

  Nickey, Enjoyed your post. We need you here to add to the compassion and kindness. It is understandable the hurt and anger expressed on this site. The wounds inflicted by being a Witness run deep. At first glance it may seem the board has a tendency towards anger and at times even hatred towards the Witnesses. But remember, these emotions are hot. They often scream load, and it may seem they are the dominate force here when truly they are but a tiny part or minority. Nothing wrong with it really, it can be part of the healing process. The more sensitive you become to others feelings -- the more we need you here; the stronger your healing influence on others. j
• 

  Sassy

  Being new here and only months ago made my decision not to go back to the KH, I can see all the points here. I will also be honest and say for very different reasons in the past I from time to time was reading some on this board while being an active JW and with no plans to leave the faith. I was here to find infiltrators who were bragging about being on a JW board and causing havoc. It was an assignement I was given and I wasn't necessarily crazy about. (I never registered then) I must admit is is amazing to now be here by choice and post among the very people, some of which, I would have considered a 'problem' on my work assignment load. There are actually posts specifically making fun of me on this board. Even my picture was posted and made fun of back then. I was never one of the main targets but I felt the wrath. I didn't understand the need to cause problems for JWs in pranks and I guess here or there, I might have even been a little hurt on a couple of comments. However, I knew that they were judgements made about the person they thought I was, not the person they would know if they 'got to know me'. When my life changed, I could only hope that if those who may have found a dislike for me only because I was an admin or mod at JW board in the past, would not cause the dislike to be for me now as I am here for reasons that are honest and sincere. ok.. i'm rambling..

  but my point is that even now beign here and only newly 'out', I still don't understand the need for pranks per say. But I also know that for anyone who has had their life controlled for a length of time, scarred for the rest of our life to some extent, and being out causing our relationships including blood relationships cut off due to all the rules, we are affected every day by having been a JW. I don't want to be a part of a prank but inside if I was a different kind of person, would I have need for that outlet? not to carry out but maybe fantasize? Maybe a forum for such kind of talk should be under the private areas. That way someone just lurking and reading because of having doubts might not be put off by such kind of talk and read the other information. I think regular joking and fun should be out there for everyone to read. They need to see that even after leaving the JW life, one can still have fun. If you have been raised a JW all your life, you think once you leave, all real opportunities of happiness are taken away. I think not only should the posts about information and doctrine be readable but also the lighthearted fun threads there too..... those might even be the ones that draw them in to feel safe..
• 

  integ

  I don't necessarily call for complete censoring. But going on KH properties and physically pestering people is where I see it as taking it too far...

  I agree with you. My Mother is a devout witness, and I would'nt want some jack ass throwing stuff at her or making fun of her...That stuff is B.S.

  integ.
• 

  Sassy

  I agree. I don't want my mother hurt either. There are people who make their choice to be a JW even if it means losing me, having been there and thinking it was the only way to life, I have to respect their choices. I can still love some of those people who are JWs even if not in my life. I don't want them hurt.
• 

  integ

  I think most of us on here mean no physical harm to witnesses. I personally care a lot for the witnesses, that's why I'm so ticked off at the management of the watchtower for deceiving the rank and file so badly, I think they do so intentionally, I really do. I guess I would just like to see them just go away, but emotions run high in this matter and people start to panic because we don't see the "end" to the Tower in sight, and some of us desire to expedite the process, and we start to "fantasize" about different ways to accomplish this end. Yes, some take it too far, and it's not right.

  Integ.
• 

  Nickey

  I appreciate everyone's comments. I've taken some advice and don't intend on sending anyone here until I know they're ready... But I'm not the one to accept and tolerate half the stuff that goes on here... sure, alot of people do it. But, it doesn't make it right. And I've never been the one to sit quietly on the sidelines and hush it off.

  I've been hated on for being a woman. Disrespected and slapped around.

  I've been hated on for being a JW back in the day. I've been at the center of the jokes and pranks.

  I've been hated on for being Black. Hell, I've been physically beaten by the KKK.

  I never was an uptight JW, if that's what some of you assume. I never got baptized because I never fully agreed with what I saw and how they acted. But also didn't sit around and fantasize about all the things I could do to them when I got out. If anything, that makes me 10 times worse than when I was in.

  People want to excuse and go along with it. But then complain when it goes too far or they see a hate crime or someone close to them getting hurt from it. There have been posters shoved in faces, objects thrown, cursing and jeering on the side, burnings of the buildings, things left on cars.... let that be a person's mother or child and then all of a sudden, the tide changes. Because after all, maybe that person was just upset and may have been hurt by someone the same religion, skin color, or whatever it may be.... Or does it all consist of how big or small the prank was that makes it any different?

  Like integ said, I don't want my family or friends at the center of that... me going along with the verbal jokes or physical "light" pranks would make me a hypocrite. No matter the reason.

  People can do and say as they please on here. But it's when people actually go and DO something offline that get's my blood boiling. For some to say it's not appropriate for me... I think it is appropriate for me to say something if this is a public board. And if people are upset over that... then that's just how it has to be then.

  Like someone said, I just have to learn to skip over the nonsense and stick with the positive....
• 

  logansrun

  Sometimes I think the whole thing sucks.

  I came here as a doubting dub two years ago and decided I would find my way out on my own. I'm glad I did.

  Bradley