My dub mom wants to remarry (page 3)

Sassy

well if you chose to stay a JW............those are the rules..

I am so glad to be out from under that 'sh*t'

blondie

Your mom seems to lack ethics, so why doesn't she and another JW just lie and say they saw your father stay overnight with someone?

Blondie

Thanks for the comments everybody. Dad said she has e-mailed him 2 really long ranting e-mails in the last 24 hours. She sent me an e-mail asking for his yahoo or MSN ID. She has also contacted my 2 brothers. She asked my older brother when we went on vacation to Hawaii did dad share a room with a woman. She's going to drive us all crazy.

Instead of hastling her own family she should be hastling her local elders. My dad has been in several relationships. Mom even met his last GF at my brothers wedding last year. You would think this would be enough but the elders need more. What a joke.

I laughed at the suggestion at her hiring a PI. I don't think she can afford it. She could always go to his ex GF's to get the dirt. He's friends with most of them so she might not get much cooperation.

JT your story cracked me up. I think he would love to be harassed by the local body of elders so he could threaten to sue them. I don't see it happening though.

unbeliever

Your mom seems to lack ethics, so why doesn't she and another JW just lie and say they saw your father stay overnight with someone?

That's what I was thinking. I've never known my mom to lie about anything. Heartless and cruel yes but I don't see her lying. I have told her that witnesses practice theocratic warfare but it went in one ear and out the other.

blondie

Heartless and cruel but won't lie....hmmmm....strange ethics

According to the WTS she is living a lie by hating...

Insight Book Volume 2

p. 245 Lie

They cannot be living a lie, claiming to love God while hating their brother. (1Jo 4:20, 21)

I don't think she is a woman open to reason, unbeliever.

unbeliever

Blondie,

A couple of years ago mom asked dad if he would sign a paper admitting to adultary or verbally admit it in front of 2 witnesses. He of course refused. Is this standard?

shamus

This pisses me off so much!

I strongly suggest that you contact her local elders and tell them what has been taking place... also, I would tell them that this is the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard of, and you are just disgusted by they're religion.

Your own mother trying to get you to get involved in they're divorce is the epitomy of disfunctional! Yet, nothing suprises me anymore.

Good on your dad for laughing at her and hanging up. I am glad. I also think that he should keep his mouth shut, so she can "stay single" and reap what she has sown. In fact, I hope that she stays like this for the rest of her life; lonely and miserable.

This should be on Doctor Phil for chrissake! I am so sorry that you have to deal with this nonsense....

Xena

couple of years ago mom asked dad if he would sign a paper admitting to adultary or verbally admit it in front of 2 witnesses

my sister wouldn't give her ex the divorce he wanted till he signed a paper admiting to adultry that she could give to the brothers lol she didn't even care if he actually HAD committed adultry or not she just wanted that paper!

my sister-in-law's ex had her followed around by a couple of sisters and had them come to her door when there was a guy at her apartment...apparently the two of them seeing her alone in the apartment with a man for over an hour was enough evidence to get him off the hook....amazing the lengths they will go to isn't it? Might want to be prepared for your mom to do some stupid and annoying stuff to get her "scriptural" divorce....

blondie

A couple of years ago mom asked dad if he would sign a paper admitting to adultary or verbally admit it in front of 2 witnesses.

This is based on a 1977 Questions from Readers, unbeliever, and I think it is resorted to when all else fails.

WT 10/1/77 p 607

Questions from Readers

? My unbelieving husband admitted to me that he has another woman. Is his admission sufficient ground for a Scriptural divorce?

In some cases if a Christian?s unbelieving mate admits to committing immorality, that would provide a Scriptural basis for a divorce, which, in turn, would free the innocent Christian for remarriage if desired.

Jehovah God?s law to the ancient nation of Israel made provision for divorce on various grounds. (Deut. 24:1, 2) Adultery, homosexuality and bestiality were bases for ending a marriage; the guilty person was to be executed. (Deut. 22:22-24; Lev. 18:22, 23) However, the Law set forth this important requirement: "At the mouth of two witnesses or of three witnesses the one dying should be put to death. He will not be put to death at the mouth of one witness." (Deut. 17:6; 19:15; Num. 35:30) Being a "lover of righteousness and justice," Jehovah required that such matters be determined on the basis of proof, of witnesses, not merely suspicion. (Ps. 33:5) This, of course, was stated as regards applying the death penalty, not as regards a divorce action.

Another situation dealt with in the Law also illustrates the importance of proof. What was a man to do if he suspected that his wife had committed adultery but she denied it and there were no witnesses? God?s law outlined a step that could be taken, but it was a drastic one that could have lasting effects for the wife if she was guilty or for the husband if she was innocent. She could be brought before the priest and made to share in a prescribed procedure involving drinking some special water. If she was guilty, she would experience the divine punishment of her ?thigh falling away,? apparently meaning that her sexual parts would atrophy and she would lose her ability to conceive. (Num. 5:12-31) Evidently in such cases the adulterous wife, though receiving this extraordinary punishment from God, because she denied guilt and there were not the required two witnesses, was not executed.

What is the situation today in the Christian congregation? Is it possible to obtain substantial testimony as to the grounds for a Scriptural divorce?

Jesus himself stated that for his followers the only ground for divorce, such as would free a person for remarriage, is if one?s mate commits porneia, gross sexual immorality. (Matt. 19:9) Would there be sufficient ground for divorce if a Christian wife merely suspected that her husband was guilty of adultery? No, for the Christian Greek Scriptures carry forward the principle of a matter?s being established by two or three witnesses, as a balanced sense of justice requires. (John 8:17, 18; 1 Tim. 5:19; Heb. 10:28) So, if a wife merely suspected her husband of adultery, but he denied it and there were no witnesses to confirm it, she would not have sufficient basis for establishing with the Christian congregation that she had a right to divorce him and thus be free to remarry.

In some cases, though, an unbelieving mate admits to being immoral. A husband, for instance, might even boast of it to his wife as a taunt to hurt her. She might choose to overlook his waywardness. But what if she feels she cannot or should not? Is his confession enough proof?

In this situation it is not as if he professes innocence or adamantly denies being guilty of adultery. Rather, he admits it to her, though for the sake of his reputation he might not be willing to own up to it in a court of law or before other persons. What can the wife do?

Since she is part of the clean Christian congregation,

, she should realize the importance of handling the matter properly so that, after divorcing him, if she later remarried there would be no question about her keeping ?the marriage bed without defilement.? (Heb. 13:4) To that end she could give the elders representing the congregation a letter outlining her situation, stating that her unbelieving husband confessed to her that he had committed immorality. And she could state that in accord with Matthew 19:9 she wishes to put him away, obtaining a legal divorce and thus ending the marriage Scripturally and legally.

The elders would consider whether there is any known reason to conclude other than that the unbelieving mate had been immoral. If not, they could accept her signed statement.

?But,? someone might say, ?is it not possible to submit a deceptive, untruthful statement, saying that her husband confessed immorality when he actually never said that?? Actually, it would be gross deception for anyone to try that. David once prayed: "You have examined my heart, you have made inspection by night, you have refined me; you will discover that I have not schemed." (Ps. 17:3) Conversely, Jehovah is well aware when someone does scheme and He will make sure that the person does not lastingly succeed. Hence, if a Christian woman goes on record as stating that her husband has admitted immorality, Jehovah knows the facts. As the Bible says: "There is not a creation that is not manifest to his sight, but all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting."?Heb. 4:13; Prov. 5:21; Jer. 16:17.

So if there is no reason to doubt the wife?s statement, the congregation elders can leave the matter between her and Jehovah. In that case she would have to bear before God the responsibility as to the actuality of her husband?s immoral course, which would be the Scriptural basis for ending the marriage even if the legal divorce were obtained on some other ground.

shamus

would free the innocent Christian for remarriage if desired.

If she's innocent, then I'm a dancing elephant. Getting divorced because of "ABSOLUTE DANGER" to ones' faith.... OMG, GIVE ME A BREAK!

Funny how they make up they're own rules for divorce when it comes to faith, yet do not permit divorce if a bastard husband beats the crap out of his wife and puts her in a hospital. This has happened, BTW.

The more I read, the more ridiculous this whole thing seems. It's like a house balanced on a playing card... just takes a whisper of wind to knock the whole thing down.

My dub mom wants to remarry

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