My dub mom wants to remarry (page 7)

Lady Lee

I am posting the following on behalf of A68storm who cant post although he can read

I noticed that some are posting that this woman's elder boyfriend should not be alone with her. You may recall that my ex was constantly alone with her jw bf and behind locked doors. He was even hiding his car around the corner, so nobody could see it. I wrote a couple of letters to the head hancho at her hall. They did at one time call her in for questioning, but swallowed her bull***t. She claimed that they left the door open downstairs (they had a jw tenant that was never home) and this made it ok.

When will everyone learn that there NO FIXED RULES for the wts. They make them up as they go along.

I know of many people that swapped mates by doing the dirty deed, got disfellowshipped, grovelled to the elders and got reinstated. They then became model jw's only they swapped partners.

La Capra

No disrespect to your mother, but, if this elder is a widower, he literally has his pick of hundreds of available, and scripturally free women in his circuit. Is it possible that your mother was selected as his "companion" for the very reason that she was NOT free? That way, there is a limit to the commitment he would have to make to her. Nothing was mentioned that the widower is seeking verifacation of her freedom, but your mother is. He can string her along, get her to do everything for him (like a good wannabe elderette would do, even possibly giving up a little something), but still be able to have peace and solitude whenever he wants it. If your mother ever gets her freedom, it's possible the "dating game" will end, because the widower will then be obliged to fish or cut bait, as they say. Just a thought, but it's something I saw with the widowers when I was a kid. The fools those single slightly post-middle aged women made of themselves. Hoo boy, just thinking of a few of them has me laughing to myself. Shoshana

wednesday

yes in deed, they do make up the rules as they go. And some congs are stricter than others.I had a friend, in a very bad marriage. She was so sad and unhappy, and wanting out of the marriage. Along came a unscriptually divorced bro(his wife left him b/c he was a jw) and well they feel in love , commited adultry, and her husband divorced her and then the 2 got married. Now b/c the new hubby's x wife had never commited adultry, the new couple were DF and and made to grovel and to this day he cannot be an elder b/c of the situation. They would only allow him to be an elder if his x wife died, or remarried, which is unlikely. so there u have it. The scarlet letter. wasted days and nights.

willyloman

thanks to a bunch of apostates, fellowshipping via the evil internet, she gets her "meat in due season". Oh, the irony!

Stephanus: Nice catch. I thought so, too.

Billygoat

I just don't see the point in rubbing salt in a wound. Just tell her what she wants to know, let it go, and then she would leave everyone alone, and that seems to be what they want.

Mulan,

It has nothing to do with HIM. It has to do with HER. It's her game, let her play it. She wanted the divorce. She left him. Why should he do ANYTHING to help her move on with her life? He was never a Witless and he was not the one who wanted the divorce. Why should he divulge private information for ANY reason? It's private!!! I say let her squirm. If nothing else, maybe her the elder will get DFed for committing adultery. They could finally get a door out of that damn cult!

I agree with whoever said earlier that the elder is out of line too. He knew she was not scripturally free to marry (no proof anyway) and yet he continued to date her. Does nobody keeps these jerks accountable for their idiotic actions?

Just my two cents,

Andi

unbeliever

Just an update. I printed off the article blondie posted and took it to my moms house when I got done with my run this morning. She read it and I could tell she has not come across it before. I told her she needed to thank apostates on the internet for there being a glimmer of hope that she can remarry w/o dads cooperation. She quickly changed the topic to our usual chat and that is about the weather.

I did ask her if the elders were giving her a hard time about dating since they did not consider her scriptually free and she said they had not given her any trouble. She told me before that she went out in FS and sat at meetings with this widowed elder. Well get this she admitted to me that they have never even kissed before and just held hands!!! What the hell??? They are talking marriage for christ sake. I could not help myself I told her the whole jw dating scene was totally screwed up. I wanted to use the word fu*ked up but held back. Then she got started on me about the fact that she knows I've had sex before marriage and that I know its a sin against jehovah and that I have no right to judge the jw's. So anyway that was the end of that conversation and I left.

I met with my dad and brother for lunch and we had a good chuckle about how mom has been acting the past couple of days over Fajitas.

There has been some talk over the character of this widowed elder. I have known him all my life. I knew his wife. Typical elderette. I know his kids. There around my age. I never did like him because he dragged me in the back more than once on some fact finding mission trying to either find dirt on me or someone else. He was not as bad as some elders. I think he's a good match for mom because they both eat and sleep the organization. My mom is not part of my everyday life. I don't think I would ever see her at all if not for my 4 year old nephew. I pick him up on Thursday nights because my brother does not let her take him to meetings. That takes all of 2 minutes. That is really the extent of our relationship. She does not even know where my younger brother lives. That's how close they are. My older brother can tolerate her for very short periods of time. He will visit her about 20 minutes each week. I don't think it will have much of an impact on our lives if she marries this guy. She's a big girl. I hope she has chosen right. She will become stepmommy to 3 adult pioneer children who still live at home. They only work part time and have no college education.

FlyingHighNow

. I hope she has chosen right. She will become stepmommy to 3 adult pioneer children who still live at home. They only work part time and have no college education.

I would love to have heard the conversation you had over lunch. Did you discuss the posts and suggestions here on this thread with him? They are pretty funny.

Your mom will have a lot of fun carrying that baggage. What are his pioneer kids like? It would be funny if you could find a way to lure them all away.

Tell us more about this lunch.

Heather

unbeliever

Did you discuss the posts and suggestions here on this thread with him?

Yes I sent him the link. JT's story gave him a big laugh. I've been trying to get him and my sister to post here for months but have had no luck.

What are his pioneer kids like?

Son#1 is 25-26 years old and is a pioneer/MS. Goal in life is to make elder. He volunteers to work at Bethel every chance he gets. My friends and I use to call him Asshole Jr. He's very anal like his father.

Son#2 is 23 and a pioneer. He use to have a mad crush on me and would always tell me to be stronger in the troof. He even once told me "you never know what might happen a few years from now". No thank you! I saw him in February at a wedding and he kept on looking at me. I gave him a dirty look and he finally stopped staring. I remember him as being very arrogant and was always looking in the mirror. I am really surprised he has not married yet. He's good looking and a pioneer so its not like he would have trouble getting a jw woman. I guess he's still pineing away for me.

Daughter- She is around 20 years old. She pioneers, always going to KH projects and will travel to other cong. where there is a low # of publishers and help them cover their territory. I remember her as being the sweetest thing as a little kid. She is a real pill now and is the type to turn you in for anything. She will get on great with my mother. My friend who is doing the fade says she is determined to marry an elder and is always on the prowl at assemblies. Doesn't want a local brother and must be over 25. Can't say I blame her.

If they try and get me to come back I will be more than happy to tell them why I won't go back in a non confrontational way. In the past I would try and be polite and then the witnesses would say something to piss me off and I would become hostile and downright hateful sometimes. I once called a group of about 10 witnesses at my moms house pricks. I'll try being nice the whole time and see where it gets me. They can be my guine (sp?) pigs. I think in this situation they should bring up the dub topic first. They might not even want to talk to me considering they know how I feel about the witnesses. We'll see.

Sassy

I told her she needed to thank apostates on the internet for there being a glimmer of hope that she can remarry w/o dads cooperation.

Isn't that ironic..

I can't believe we are helping her.. but then it really was more about helping you.. getting her off your back. I detest when kids (no matter what age) get put in the middle.

FlyingHighNow

I saw him in February at a wedding and he kept on looking at me. I gave him a dirty look and he finally stopped staring.

Good for you. This is funny. Awwww, he is still pining for you? Well, he better stop because it sounds to me like soon you will be his step sister and how sick would that be?? For him to have the hots for his step sister?

You know, I think women can be so dingy. They want to marry doctors, lawyers or elders. It gives them a sense of prominence, right? But do they stop and think about the time their husbands will have to devote to other people instead of them or their families? Unless of course your mom likes the idea of having a husband, but not having to spend too much time with him. Goofy, goofy, goofy. At least you are all getting a good laugh from this.

Heather

My dub mom wants to remarry

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