My dub mom wants to remarry (page 4)

worldlygirl

Did I forget to mention that he was never a witness....? Just an opposer. Mom left him because he was a "danger" to her spiritually.

Exactly my situation. And, let me go on record saying it will be a cold day in hell before I would ever admit to adultery. If and when I ever decide to enter into another relationship, that is my business and I don't feel any obligation to my ex or the freaking Society to disclose personal information to them.

Why should I be concerned with his future happiness?? He certainly hasn't considered mine!

Jim_TX

Hmmm... coming in late on this, but it strikes pretty close to home.

I am a 'driftee' - and left the JW org over 20 years ago. Just walked away. At that time, I was married to good 'lil JW wifey.

Flash-forward to 2001. I finally got tired of living in isolation - as I had withdrawn from society. I moved out - got seperated from her (she still being a good 'lil JW wifey) - and eventually, in JAN 2002 got the divorce finalized.

Months later... she confronts me at a local coffee shop with my 19-yr old daughter beside her (the 'second witness'), and asks me if I had had relations so she can be 'scripturally free'.

Folks... I don't play by their rules anymore. I got the legal documents that say we are divorced - that's good enuf fer me - and should also be for her.

I told her it wasn't any of her bizness what I am now doing. After a very long silence... her standing there... she finally took her cue to leave.

But it wasn't over. About six months later, out of the blue, I get a phone call from some fella that introduces himself as an 'elder' and is asking me if I would tell HIM (a total stranger over the phone) if I had had relations with another since I had left the ex-wifey. (I think this fella was the one that was 'dating' the ex.)

I told this fella that it wasn't any of his business and if they did not leave me alone, I was going to see a lawyer about getting a restraining order against them dealing with harrassment.

But wait! There's more!

A couple of weeks later... yet another(!) fella calls me - another 'elder' - and he begins by asking me if I was 'still interested in being one of Jehovah's Witnesses'.

I started to reply... then remembered their 'two witness' rule, and how they try to trap folks over the phone... and instead asked him if there was someone else on the line.

His reply, "Well, no... but there's someone else listening in."

Like THAT makes a difference and makes it okay.

I told him, "I thought so. Good day.", and hung up the phone.

They have not bothered me since, but I know that they are probably lurking out there somewhere.

The bottom line. I DO NOT play by THEIR rules anymore. I KNOW that others have already stated... "Well, why don't you just let her off the hook, and tell her." blah blah blah... well, the reason I don't??? It's NONE of their bloody business!!! The courts say that BOTH of us are FREE to re-marry - if we so choose. THAT should be good enough for them.

I find it ironic how they are always running to the law for shelter when it suits THEIR needs... but they then reject other laws when THEY choose to follow some archaic passage in the bible.

Okay... rant mode off.

*grin*

Jim TX

shamus

Jim,

Are you serious? OMG, is there anything these assholes won't stoop to?

Ha ha ha! Look at them making asses of themselves!!!

Jeez, they are such pathetic losers!!!!!

Nathan Natas

Unbeliever,

I can tell you a true story from a long time ago - there was a sister in one of the congregations I went to who had been seperated from her husband for several years. She wanted to divorce her former husband, just to be rid of him, I think. The sister went to Howard Zenke, who was her congregation overseer. Howard Zenke, was also a Bethelite who worked in the Service Department. Some of the older ex-bethelites around here will know his name. He told this sister to go ahead and get her divorce, because if her husband was any kind of a "normal man" he would not have remained celibate for almost a decade. She did, everyone was happy.

It may be that this principle could apply in your mother's case as well. She has been divorced for several years. Instead of expending her energy encouraging her husband to meet the Society's requirements, couldn't she just "assume" that as a "normal man" he has not embraced celibacy as a lifestyle? She, better than anyone, knows what the level of his sex drive and social skills were during the time they were married. It should not be difficult to extrapolate his likely behavior.

I think the elders, once nudged to begin thinking in this direction - that a number of YEARS have have by - might agree that more likely than not, she is free to remarry.

If she offers this idea to the elders and it is rejected, maybe she will see what a bunch of morons they are.

95stormfront

AND the elders and CO got a letter telling them to take care of this DUMB ASS-

ROFLMAO

Classic

worldlygirl

Are you going to make her pay for what she did forever?

Mulan, you're a real sweetie - a much nicer person than I am. Am I going to make him pay for what he did forever? I'm going to give it my best shot!

anglise

If she carries a blood card and is willing to die by their rules then let her live by them and stay in marital limbo.

Anglise

(of the "had enuf of dub stupidity" class)

unbeliever

WG,

I remeber reading your revenge thread. My heart broke for you. I hope you are doing better. You owe your ex NOTHING!

Jim,

I suspect there was someone listening on the other end when mom called dad up. I wonder what this person thought when he busted out laughing and hung up on her. lol

Nathan,

If she offers this idea to the elders and it is rejected, maybe she will see what a bunch of morons they are.

She told them that he has been in other relationships and even met his now ex GF at my brothers wedding. They said it was not enough since my dad has never admitted to adultary. Only a moron would think that my dad has been celibate since the divorce. W/o their approval she will not marry this guy. I hate to say what that makes her......

Dad did reply to the pitiful e-mails she sent him and he asked her if she would sign a letter renouncing shunning and apologise to my sister for treating her like the plague for the last 10+ years. He also wants her to apologise in writing to all of us for embarrassing us at my brothers wedding last year. If she does that he says she might find him to be more cooperative in other areas. Let the games being.

Mulan

A couple of years ago mom asked dad if he would sign a paper admitting to adultary or verbally admit it in front of 2 witnesses. He of course refused. Is this standard?

They haven't done it that way for years. In fact, I know of several situations where the person who wanted to remarry told the elders they were quite sure they were "free" and that was all that was necessary.

Mulan, you're a real sweetie - a much nicer person than I am.

Worldygirl............thanks. I know several who would disagree with you on that. Winky I just don't see the point in rubbing salt in a wound. Just tell her what she wants to know, let it go, and then she would leave everyone alone, and that seems to be what they want.

unbeliever

Mulan, you're a real sweetie - a much nicer person than I am. Am I going to make him pay for what he did forever? I'm going to give it my best shot!

LOL! Don't waste to much time on him. Shamus is right let them reap what they sew. Just sit back and enjoy your life and watch them from a distance make a mess out of theirs.

My dub mom wants to remarry

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