Hello and welcome,
I too was an elder when I first posted here. Relax and enjoy it. Just don't reveal too much about yourself until you are ready. You are safe if you use restraint.
Here is my first thread on this board as an elder, (17years a PO) for your amusement. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/3642/1.ashx
More importantly, you have found more people here than you have in your entire JW life who feel the same way as you feel. Sure, there are some you will not agree with, but countless you will recognize as expressing your own feelings.
And we are not "bad" people, no gnashing of teeth, eating our vomit (yuck) in darkness and despare, but very well adjust, spiritual, and happy people.
YIKES, THERE IS LIFE BEYOND THE ORGANIZATION!!!!!!
YES, there is life.
Hope to talk with you more sometime.
STeve