This is a very hard subject to post about. When I read your post, I started reading around. I've had to revise it lots of times, both to account for how I feel, how others feel, and how difficult this subject is to discuss without getting heated. This is what I found:
It seems, according to this author, that alot of it has to do with what is culturally acceptable: the norm. In some countries, young girls are married off at 9 years old or so. They are taught starting when they can walk household duties, marital duties, and the raising of children. For them, this is quite natural and normal. It is based in traditional roles for females and males, with the expectation of raising a family and surviving in the near future. Because it is widely accepted as the cultural tradition, no one thinks twice about it. Also, life expectancies are not as long, so everything is moved up a bit.
For an interesting read on childhood sexuality, and the health, or the distortion of, read:
http://www.books-reborn.org/yates/sex/SexWithoutShame.pdf
While some societies are very unhibited sexually, including the children, our society (meaning industrialized nations), on the whole, seem to be very inhibited, and this cultural "norm" is reflected in our attitudes about childhood sexuality, and parenting. These attitudes are picked up by our children, and any sexuality is bad sexuality, and brings feelings of shame and disgust. Since we view sexuality between an adult and a child as wrong, so does the child feel violated and shamed. As can be seen in the above article, children born into the Inis Beag culture (an island off the coast of Ireland) are taught that:
- Infant nudity was abhorred by the islanders. The bodies of infants were always covered when in view of siblings and outsiders. Infants had their bodies sponged once a week, and from early childhood onwards their parents washed only their faces, necks, lower arms, hands, lower legs and feet. Breast feeding was uncommon because of the sexual connotations. By late infancy verbal affection replaced the affection of physical touching. Children were never allowed to see anyone naked. People slept in their underwear and clothes were changed only in secrecy, often under the bedcovers. Even nudity of pets in heat caused anxiety and dogs were whipped for licking their genitals.
Conversely, the Maori culture, on the island of Mangaia:
- "infants are special people, rocked and indulged by all family members. Bare genitals are playfully or casually stimulated and lingual manipulation of the tiny penis is common." (Someone would be put away for life for this in OUR culture!) "Privacy is unknown, as each hut contains five to sixteen family members of all ages. Adolescent daughters often receive lovers at night and parents 'bump together' so that young children may be awakened by the slapping sound of moist genitals. Although adults rarely talk to children about sex, erotic wit and innuendoes are common.
- "At the age of three or four, children band together and explore the mysteries of the dense tropical bush....Sex play flourishes in the undergrowth and coital activity may begin at any time. Children also learn about sex from one another and "young girls also learn from elderly women who teach by telling stories and by direct practical instruction. The young boy is taught at puberty by older males. He is coached in techniques such as the kissing and sucking of breasts. He is told about lubrication and trained in methods of bringing his partner to climax several times prior to his own ejaculation."
So.. there are different cultural attitudes regarding sexual matters all around the world, which will result in the child either feeling shame, or accepting it as a natural way of life. Our particular culture just happens to view sex between adults (meaning 18 and over) and children (meaning 18 and under) as wrong, because of cultural or religious attitudes. The bad comes from the shame AND fear that it visits upon the child.
Since our culture feels this way, it is quite normal that the child would experience shame, at any sexual touch. Because our bodies are biologically driven, a positive response to the touch would be very much in the bounds of normal, with the child's feeling shame at having responded positively to the touch. However, I would guess since our culture has such abhorrence of such practices, that to enthusiastically prosecute pedophiles would be one of the ways a child's sense of security and trust could be re-established, along with extra emotional support and counseling.
CG
P.S. As I have read further into the article, it's scary some of this author's notions of incest and abuse. But the part about different cultures was pretty interesting!
