What "CAUSES" a molested child to hurt? (Warning: Possible Triggers) (page 7)

patio34

(((((Lady Lee, Talesin, Big Tex, Valis, Gumby, Bikerchic, lisabobeesa, countrygirl, czarofmischief, Simon, patio34, euphemism, cybersista, xenawarrior))))) from Bisous.

I second the emotion!!!

Gumby, I'm sorry too if I was too indignant or whatever I seemed to be. I see that we've all hammered it out. Please, please, please come back and play? ((((Gumby))))

Group Hug and as Big Tex says, let's all go out for a

Pat

gumby

Gumby, I'm sorry too if I was too indignant or whatever I seemed to be. I see that we've all hammered it out. Please, please, please come back and play? ((((Gumby))))

How about we all go back to normal and I just call ya all a bunch of good ol' big hearted, fun lovin, heathen Apostate Bastards!!!

I'm glad this all ended with us all still being friends. You guys are the greatest bunch alive, and I'm so glad we have each other. I love you guys

Gumby

What I've seen in this thread are folks who have suffered such horrifying trauma and, as survivors, continue to remove the shrapnel along the way. This kind of discussion can be a very understandable trigger. However, instead of allowing themselves to lash out in anger, they are able to try to discuss it with others and try to truly understand where each person is coming from, no matter how uncomfortable all of that might be in the process. IMO- for these survivors to have gotten from whence they came to here with that ability realized is HUGE- and my hat is off to all of you !!

XW

talesin

I'll echo Kate's {{{}}} to the thread.

xw

tks

bisous

yr welcome, sweetie, didn't mean to sound pitying - just compassionate, sorry

gumby,

yes, we love you, ya *bastard* ! !

(can't believe I said that! It's all Shamus' fault, him and his 'bastard' talk! heheheh)

tal

MorpheuzX

I'm a very hesitant to write this; I'm just shocked by some of the questions I've read on this thread. How could you even ask if a child being molested enjoys it? I know I sure didn't.

I'm a male. I grew up in a family of devout JWs and when I was about 7, an uncle, who was not in the ?truth?, molested me. Even then I knew what he was doing to me was wrong. Enjoy it? It hurt terribly and felt like he was crushing me. I couldn't breathe, due to him being on top of me and having his hand over my mouth for most of it.

Without getting into any more disgusting, salacious detail, let's just say he finished in my mouth. And to this day, almost 20 years later, I still have nightmares about it. Usually a few times a month, sometimes a few times a week, I'll have a nightmare about having that disgusting filth in my mouth and trying desperately to get it out, spit it out, rinse it out, but I never can. Usually I wake up from that dream and have to brush my teeth over and over again. I know it sounds crazy.

As for emotionally, I don't think I've ever really been able to trust another person and I doubt that'll ever change. I feel like the parts of me that could've loved and trusted were shredded by what he did. I don't know if that answers any of your questions, just my experience.

bisous

(((morph)))

I relate to your reaction completely. I sit here having reread BigT's story and the reactions to it and now yours and wipe tears from my eyes. I despise your pain and his pain and mine, and the assholes who served it up to all of us.

As for emotionally, I don't think I've ever really been able to trust another person and I doubt that'll ever change. I feel like the parts of me that could've loved and trusted were shredded by what he did. I don't know if that answers any of your questions, just my experience.

I also understand your words above. I was abused as a child, and have had difficulty sustaining normal relationships. But I try. Please don't give up. Don't give your abuser that kind of power over you, who you are, the rest of your life. Find a place to heal. There are places you can find help with such things out there you know. You are young enough to face down your demons and salvage that part of your life.

Please feel free to email me here if you ever want someone to talk to. kim

Lady Lee

Morpheau (((very gentle hugs for you)))

Considering what you describe - no there is no way a child would enjoy that - be horrified is more like it and extremely traumatized.

But the sad fact is that some abusers will do thing to the child that actually stimulate the nerves to respond positively. Some abusers are actually gentle. And that winds up being traumatic in a different way because of the confusion it causes. Mentally the child hates it and wants it to stop. Physically the body is responding. It is very sick. But the child is just as incapable of stopping it as the child of the violent abuse

I've experienced both types of abuse from different abusers. Each bears its own scars. Each is traumatic but for slightly different reasons.

I think it is important to acknowledge both types of abuse. Many of us who experienced the betrayal-of-the-body type of abuse lived in shame for a very long time before we could speak of how our bodies felt even though our minds were screaming for it to stop.

Now try to think of something caring to do for yourself. You deserve it after posting your story

BLISSISIGNORANCE

And I am dumbfounded by your question regarding why the impact from stealing is any different than sexual abuse. Utterly speechless that anyone would have to ask. Especially here, with all of the information presented on this topic.
Beyond that, I do have to tell you that for someone with my experience, this is a hurtful thread. I do know that that probably wasn't the intent. But it is the result just the same.

I had the same reaction when I read this post.

What "CAUSES" a molested child to hurt?

What can possibly hurt a small child when a large adult they trust and love interferes with them using adult size parts of anatomy without permission??????????? hurting them as they force themselves upon the child......... And you need to ask?

I was abused as a young girl and apart from the physical damage there was also the emotional hurt, some I still live with today.

But I don't feel that explaining it would help you to understand.

Country Girl

<<<<group>>>>

I like what Lady Lee said: Knowledge is power, and the more people know, the more people understand, and some downright misleading assumptions regarding CSA can be erased.

I'm sure that some people are not at that point in their healing that it's easy to talk about their abuse, and I'm not sure if anyone ever really is! For me, it happened one time. It was enough to be traumatic, but I'm pretty sure that my fear and guilt was aggravated by my Mother's response to sweep it under the rug, which is still my main problem. My own personal experience of it has been healed, mostly, but I still lash out that some very ignorant people ignored it when I did bring it to their attention. My anger is directed in the right place, now. However, at some point I have to reconcile that also, and I haven't come to that place yet.

But for now, I am content to research it, understand others' experiences with it and apply it to my own personal experience, and heal from that with the knowledge I gain. I can also help others to understand, and thus aid in their healing. It's a mutally beneficial thing. I think questions are good, and can benefit more than just the questioner.

Hugs to all and may all your loads be light,

CG

What "CAUSES" a molested child to hurt? (Warning: Possible Triggers)

minimus