Gumbys Weekend Bible Study - Noah and Stuff

by gumby 75 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    You'll have to settle for some elderly spinster JW pioneer sisters (who are possibly lesbians anyway) until I can find some younger replacements.

    I am offended that you would imply they are spinster.

  • Scully
    Scully

    FHN:

    I am offended that you would imply they are spinster.

    What's the currently PC word to describe never married women who are Waiting On Jehovah? and Saving Themselves (sorta) for After Armageddon? but don't know how to use a spinning wheel? I tried to find something in my computer's Thesaurus, but it chugged for hours and hours before finally crashing. Apparently "bachelorette" is not part of the English language yet.

    Help me out here, Sister co-High Priestess!!

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Sister Scully, AMEN! Can I have a big shout out for Jesus? PRAISE THE LAWD! HELP US JESUS.

    Here is the definition for spinster for the AOL dictionary:

    Main Entry: spin·ster
    Pronunciation:
    'spin(t)-st&r
    Function: noun
    Date: 14th century
    1 : a woman whose occupation is to spin
    2 a : archaic : an unmarried woman of gentle family b : an unmarried woman and especially one past the common age for marrying
    3 : a woman who seems unlikely to marry
    - spin·ster·hood /-"hud/ noun
    - spin·ster·ish /-st(&-)rish/ adjective
    - spin·ster·ly adjective

    Pronunciation Key

    © 2001 by Merriam-Webster, Incorporated
    Merriam-Webster Privacy Policy

    I'm sure any lesbian JW sister couple would be highly offended by us calling them spinsters, don't you think?

  • Scully
    Scully

    FHN:

    I'm sure any lesbian JW sister couple would be highly offended by us calling them spinsters, don't you think?

    Perhaps, but the beauty of this plan is that

    1. Rev Gumby cares not whether they are a "couple", only that he has more than one Rendering him Sacred Service at all times (and especially on Friday nights)
    2. they aren't allowed to admit to being lesbians unless they want to be DFd
    3. if they aren't allowed to admit to it, then being offended would raise suspicion and possibly bring the same punishment
    4. I think they'd be far more offended at being refered to as virgins.

    Praise Rev Gumby and all that he anointeth with his holiest and innermost utterances.

    Forever and ever, Amen.

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    OMG LOL I always thought it was sphincter,

    Main Entry: sphinc·ter
    Pronunciation: 'sfi[ng](k)-t&r
    Function: noun
    Etymology: Late Latin, from Greek sphinktEr, literally, band, from sphingein to bind tight
    : an annular muscle surrounding and able to contract or close a bodily opening
    - sphinc·ter·ic / sfi[ng](k)-'ter-ik / adjective

    Now I find out it is spinster. Learn sum sumthin everyday.

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost
    Brother alky accidentally bought some cheap wine called 'Shiraz' for the Lords supper by mistake

    Some mistake! Shiraz at communion? - now that is something new!

  • gumby
    gumby

    Ozzie my brother, you like the left over wine from the eucharis if I choose to use the Shiraz? I've already heard feedback that many of the sisters enjoyed it and one sister used the word "buzz" whatever that means. Your welcome to it if you wish. It cost like 8:50 or so......but, whatever.

    As for the homosexual comments made by some in the back, god will not stand for it any more than he did for Noahs boys who drug their daddy's naked drunk limp body back on his bed and covered his shameful nakedness without peekin. ....cept for the one boy who peeked. God will DESTROY ALL HIS CHILDREN FOR HIS PEEKIN!!!! God doesn't allow men to see men naked nor women to see women naked!!

    When David was a lusting after those women in the bathtub together and picked bathsheeba.......those women had clothes on underneath even though the word doesn't mention it!!! The holy spirit knows ...and he's in me!! God is the judge of the homosexuals, but if any of these women want to attend my church, they'll have to let me purify em first with holy water, and several meetings in my office............together preferably.

    Gumby

  • Satanus
    Satanus
    I'll tell you one thing Mr. Satanus.....you think your real cute with your little name mockery. Don't think for one minute the Lord will take your little sarcasm as funny! The pitts of hell are hungry for people like you! I'm not so sure the adversary will think it's funny either and he's the one who owns the keys.

    I will be bringing some of my own fire along for that guy I'll toast the sucker. 'Course, he'll prolly fry my ass after that.

    S

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    I think they'd be far more offended at being refered to as virgins.

    I believe you, Sister Scully. You have virgin expertise. That's why Rev. Gumby annointed you his VP in charge of virgins. That and you bear a remarkable resemblance to Gillian Anderson.

    No Caption

    The Rev likes to fantasize that he is Fox Mulder and that you are Dana Scully, especially in his office after getting into his special stash of eucharistic wine. He alternates between the animated Scully and the regular one.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Flyin

    That looks like the rev in the background in the upper right hand pic. Is he rolling around in some mud or something? He looks a bit upset.

    S

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