Sounds wonderful. Is there a minimum age or can I apply now?
The only thing missing would be a butter crumpet at bed time!
How many of you are childfree by choice?
by rebel8 103 Replies latest social relationships
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trevor
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Crumpet
It doesn't sound bad does it - I'm saving up now. Ideally it'll be a bit like the home off that movie - Cocoon, but better. Maybe with all these wonderful ideas and a partiality for older folks I should start my own home up calling it the "Buttered Crumpet"! You'd be very welcome Trevor - but you aren;t old enough yet to chuck in the towel!
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sass_my_frass
What a great thread. I'll be married shortly, and my man has just gotten the chop... we made the choice, well actually I think how it happened is, bear with me here....
I didn't notice I was single until I was 25, and then when my first fiance wanted to breed as soon as we could I had this picture of life in the midwestern suburbs, me, him, a baby seat... it freaked me out, and he scared me off. This time, it's my man who just doesn't want kids. He's also opposed to bringing more children into a fast-growing world, and would prefer to adopt. I actually agree with that; I'd rather give somebody elses kid a chance at a decent life than grow my own just for that baby magic. I got to thinking that if I'd ever really wanted them I'd have been aiming in that direction from a much younger age, and would have gotten to it. I also realised that life would be very complicated, me being some kind of witness... and finally I thought that my genes shouldn't stay in the pool.
So now the option to grow my own is gone, I'm good with that. Babies are very boring. We might do long-term fostering later on, and if that's working we might adopt, but I don't want the lifetime of emotional pulling on my heart. I want a simple life, and control over my finances.
You're better off putting $250000 into a retirement fund than into a child if you think you'll be lonely when you're old. My witness family barely speaks to my parents; it's not like their choice has paid off. It's a myth that you'll be happily surrounded by laughing grandchildren and sunshine. Your kids will be around you when you're old about as much as you are around your own folks, if you're lucky.
Crumpet, I think I love you.
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econaut
I heard somewhere that people only accuse the childfree of selfishness because they damn well wish they could be that selfish!
This is what I have concluded as well......they're jealous. They wish they had the freedom of those without kids so they turn to putting others down to make themselves feel good.
My husband and I are childless by choice as well. We have chosen this for the reasons stated by all of you (the earth is over populated for its resource consumption, the gamble as to whether the baby will be healthy or not, the WORRY doesn't stop when they leave the house, etc). One other thing to add in our case is that twins run on my side of the family so that was an additional scare to us. The gamble of having a healthy baby is too great a gamble for us to take. We would love to be an aunt and uncle though, maybe someday.....
We do have a cat that we got after only a couple months of marriage. We have had her now for 12 years. She is our "daughter". Any one else out here that is childless and feels this way about their pet? When I use the term "daughter" in this context with someone who has children they give me a look like, "what do you mean, daughter??" They seem to get offended. But she is! We care and worry about her so much. But, I love it that I can just give her a clean litter box, fill her food and water dish and go away for the weekend. We have thought about getting a dog but a dog seems to be needier than a cat. Can't handle that right now! It's hard enough finding someone to come in and spend time with/feed our cat when we go away on extended vacations!
econaut...... (of the childless so I can afford MY college tuition class!)