Wife's weight problem (page 10)

Buster

Brooke,

That does sound like a rough ride. I can only imagine what that constant berating would do to a child.

Perhaps it is time to reiterate, I am not talking about runway-model thin here. We (I am at least) are talking about being in shape.

jeanniebeanz

J,
If that sentence weirds you out, you have some serious issues. Is English your primary language?

Ad hominem. I stated that your view of your life partner as an "object" was creepy. You reply with personal insult... J

funkyderek

whyamihere:

Well I work out 4 to 5 times a week nothing less than 45 minutes. I eat 1200 to 1500 calories a day to maintain what I have. I go for 3 or 4 walks a week with my family. The walks are no less than 2 miles.

And I'm sure your husband appreciates it. Can you understand why some husbands might be upset if their wives went from doing that to sitting on the couch all day and doubling their weight, especially if this was accompanied by a practical but unflattering haircut and a more relaxed attitude to personal hygeine? Your husband would wonder where the beautiful, energetic girl he married had got to. He might justifiably believe that he had been tricked into the marriage.

funkyderek

jeanniebeanz:

Ad hominem. I stated that your view of your life partner as an "object" was creepy. You reply with personal insult...

I don't think that's an ad hominem attack at all. If you find a man describing his wife as "the object of his desires" to be creepy, then either you're not familiar with this incredibly common use of the word object, or you have some very unorthodox and inexplicable opinions.

Buster

J,
You're the one that read a faily common English expression and has a problem with it. That seems to suggest either an imbalance, or unfamiliarity with English.

itsallgoodnow

I don't think anyone in their right mind wants their wife or girlfriend to be unhealthy about being thin, like anorexic or bulimic. It's only natural to prefer that your S/O to be healthy and in shape.

But to demand it or threaten her over it, that's another thing entirely. Or to withhold affection from your children by taking every opportunity to express your obvious dissapointment, that's really just the use of emotional blackmail to get what you want out of someone else.

Somebody said staying in shape for women is equal to being gainfully employed for men. So, that's like saying the only value a woman has is looking good for her man. Nice.

I know people think this way, but it always blows my mind to see them say it.

jeanniebeanz

or you have some very unorthodox and inexplicable opinions.

Actually, it's not as unorthodox as you may believe. Not many women enjoy being refered to as an object whatever the phrase is. I'd think that you may have been more understanding in that since, as a former JW woman who was the property of her "husbandly owner" it's a real sore spot with many of us.

THAT is what creeps me out; that the view of woman as an 'object' was held onto by some. But at least as long as there are women who will put up with the condescension there will be guys who figure it's okay to demean us in this manner.

Ah, well.

And if you cannot see the Ad Hominem in Buster's statements, you need to look again. Questioning someones grasp of their native tongue in an insulting manner so as to continue an argument is an ad hominem as it speaks to the person and not the argument.

J

Buster

Somebody said staying in shape for women is equal to being gainfully employed for men. So, that's like saying the only value a woman has is looking good for her man.

No, that is not saying the only value is her looks - I have not said that. But it is not insignificant. We are talking about letting oneself go.

But your statement says something interesting. Are you saying that a man's gainful employment is his only value? It seems to me like you are.

So I ask you, what would you do to a husband who came home, and decided to stop working? Days of TV and bass fishing are what he wants. Of course he is still the same person. How long before he found his stuff in the driveway?

LittleToe

Clattering hip bones aint much fun, and my favourite occupation is hugs n cuddles. I'd rather a little cush, thanks

Odrade:
Actually I was being deadly serious. I'm noted for not flattering people, to the point of upset, in fact it's something I detest. You looked great at Xmas!

itsallgoodnow

In light of the things buster has been saying, it's almost as if he used that expression "object of my affection" as a pun. I understood what jeanniebeanz was saying and you are creeping me out too. I think I need to go take a shower after reading the board today. Bunch of bored people trying to see if they can push a few buttons.

Wife's weight problem

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