Wife's weight problem (page 9)

jeanniebeanz

Women don't need to change when married, only the lazy ones do for a lack of love or respect for their husbands.

G-Money,

Did you even read my post? I put on almost 50 lbs, but if you look at the description of my life while I was putting on the weight, there is no way in hell you could call me lazy. I also have a great deal of love and respect for my husband, which is ultimately what got me to decide to change our lifestyle for the better.

People go through phases in their lives, we go up and down in all areas of life. That is part of the 'for better or for worst' statement in your wedding vows. If you don't mean them, don't say them; you are not mature enough to be a true partner for life. You'll only make yourself miserable later in life when things get bumpy.

I have known many, many women who have been pretty plump during their childbearing years and it's usually because they were busy taking care of you and your mutual childrens needs before their own. They most of the time thin down once they have some room to breathe! If you are not supportive during these times of low self-esteem and chronic fatigue, then as the kids get into school and the woman has a bit more time for herself and loses the weight, she may resent that you are suddenly re-attracted to her when she needed your love and attention when she was heavy.

Sometimes just hearing my husband say to me as I looked at my naked body in the mirror with obvious disgust on my face, "Honey, it's okay. It's just temporary. When you're ready to do something about this, I'm here for you." made all the difference in the world. Now that the weight is coming off again, and he is chasing me around the bedroom with much greater frequency I do not have feelings of resentment for him for not being there for me when I needed him the most.

It really helped create the trust and passion that we share as a couple. I can't tell you how many times our adult kids have to tell us, "get a room." People mistake us for newlyweds all the time. It's wonderful and his mature and loving attitude toward my weight was, I am sure, a big part of my respect for him.

Jean

whyamihere

Trevor....First of all....Please let me laugh.....ok I am done.

Let me just put it in PC terms..I am sure you think I am defending women which I am not....I said hit yhis balls as if I were his wife. It would have been weird if I said If were your husband I would hit you in the balls.

Ok I am not saying women or men. I am saying be nice. Everyone is talking about women getting Fat well I was going along with it. For that I am sorry. Make sure you let everyone know about your feelings on the one sided subject not just me. Thank you.

Well like I said before My HUSBAND who is a Man gained weight after we were married. So I guess i was talking about men?

I just think people should be nice and have compassion. You want a slim wife or husband go for it...but things can change with age even if you diet and work out 24/7 things can change.

All I want is for the Men and Women who want it this way May your Spouses treat you as you treat them. Nothing wrong with that.

Brooke

Buster

What about your Son or other children? What if they became fat?

Brooke, great question!

First, you must admit that it is a bit different. My wife is the object of my desires. Nevertheless, I very much expect my children to be in shape. As a paretnt I have some control over their habits - exercise and eating.

But I suspect you are asking about adult children - yes? I would expect that my daughter, should decide to let herself go, would understand that she is affecting her relationship with her mate. Its her business if she wants to see a fried chicken more than she wants to see her toes. I don't think I would take her to task for it, but I wouldn't try to hide my disappointment.

jeanniebeanz

My wife is the object of my desires.

Dude, you are really creeping me out...

J

whyamihere

Buster..

I grew up in a family where it was about weight. Had to be the very best. Aunts and Uncles and grandparents(mother side) would all tell you if you were fat. I can remember being asked of what I weigh or how much better I look then my sister at the age of 8.

I had a bad eating disorder...so does a couple cousins of mine. For me it's not about trying to be skinny or looking my best...It was the constant stares or the "Are you really going to eat that?" or "Wow you look alot better than last year!" or my favorite..."How much did you eat today?" Plus as I grew up I was never a fat kid but treated like one just to keep thin.

I am not saying you would do this...but it can hurt your children. Thin can be healthy and thin can be unhealthy.

Brooke

G Money

Well Brooke, you mentioned that your husband lifts weights but I see devoid any mention of your exercise habits. You are very militant about your position. I think you wear the pants in your house. You said your husband agreed with your remarks but i bet he is afraid to disagree with you. Most normal north american guys think similarly. although I wouldn't expect him to disrespect you, his opinion may differ when he is with the boys.

I have kids and they are not fat, al contraire, they are skinny because i don't let them watch tv, only have fruits and juices in the house and make them play outside daily.

Now if I kept them inside, let them watch tv and eat fatty food and be bombarded by tv ads for fatty foods, they'd be fat. The worst drink I have in the house is gatorade!

I realize that I have made some broad generalizations that cannot apply to everybody in every situation. These days few wish to take responsibility for their lot in life and would rather blame eveyone else but themselves. Everybody has the power to change and make positive changes in their lives. So many people, however, would rather make excuses then face the harder task of taking the first step of change.

Now Jean, you seemed to have alot going at the time and I do commend you for taking such a load at the time. My comments were not directed at you per se but in general. You mentioned that you feasted on fatty foods at night but also you did have the choice to pack healthy foods and eat at other times. I'm not faulting you but simply making an analysis of your comments.

Mecurious?

Yes, it is a mean way to treat someone, but the bottom line is this: Women are lined up to date guys like that.

Go figure.

-Else, of the Nice Guy Who is Still Single Class

Yep them and serial killers, sitting on death row! Guys like Scott Peterson get corrospondance everyday from women while good nice and caring guys like elsewhere cant even hardly find a date.

Another thing, people here tend to relate a wife getting fat, to a husband getting fat. I think that is the wrong correlation. I think a wife getting fat correlates better to a man coming home and deciding that he no longer thought he needed to earn a living. Remember ladies, he's still the same person. He just doesn't want to work at it any more - Oprah and lunch with friends will be his new life. How log before his butt was at the curb?

Right, but no one but me and you seemed to have noticed it!

Women want Security(money)

Men want Beauty(sex)

Hey, all good points so far. But, lets keep something in mind Men and Women are wired differently. Men are wired or genetically programmed to be attracted to beautiful women. Women are wired or programmed to be attracted to security and that of course includes money. I used to get all huffy and puffy about it but I have come to except that this is the way nature designed it.

So theres no need to get upset about it. And you can not discuss one with out discussing the other...

See, its when someone starts concentraing and obsseing over one factor to the exclusion of others
that we have problems. So a man who only goes after beauty queens will get burned!

A women who is only interested in a meal ticket and gold digging will likewise get burned as well.

Men please if you have time read these two works by Warren Farrel.

1. The myth of male power

2. Why men are the way they are

You shall forever be enlightened!

M'

Buster

J,

If that sentence weirds you out, you have some serious issues. Is English your primary language?

trevor

object - noun a person or thing to which thoughts, feelings, or actions are directed
She was surprised to learn she was the object of his affection.

whyamihere

G Money.....

I am sorry I didn't know you wanted to know about that...

Well I work out 4 to 5 times a week nothing less than 45 minutes. I eat 1200 to 1500 calories a day to maintain what I have. I go for 3 or 4 walks a week with my family. The walks are no less than 2 miles.

As to me wearing the pants I the house...LOL! It's 50/50. Seriously it is.

The house we live in He choose. I didn't want but he Did..I went along with it. The car we have I wanted different than what He wanted. He choose and we have the car he picked out. It is 50/50...you want me to bring him on here and tell you like it is...I will...I am sure he would love too let you know about our 50/50 relationship.

Brooke

Wife's weight problem

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