If a woman pulls a sweater over her head (in substitute of a veil) when a man walks in while she is studying the Bible with someone.
Yes, that happened to me.
YOU MIGHT BE A J.W.
by brandnew 128 Replies latest jw friends
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JW GoneBad
If you're a good enough public speaker that you're on the 'Out-Going Speakers' list but your wife doesn't accompany you to these other meetings for worship cause she's sooo damn tired of hearing you speak on the same-o, same-o topics and themes....
YOU MAY BE A JW.....ELDER. :):):)
(ps: I actually see quite a bit of this and it's happening throughout the circuit; where a visiting Elder & his family are invited to another congregation to give the Sunday public talk and he winds up coming alone and leaving after his talk cause he's too embarrassed to face the congregation later knowing their going to ask him 'where is Nellie Bell?').
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brandnew
If your dress shoes are more worn than your sneakers..........
YOU MIGHT BE A J.W.
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Hairtrigger
If you are on a 'reurn visit' and it's not to your girlfriend's, your are pure- damn -definite JW .
If you're 'counting time' but get paid not a penny you are a rich-darn JW.
If you keep a straight face when someone lets go in the KH and don't double up and let one off yourself- you're are a fart enamored JW.
If you put your hands together every time some stupid announcement is made, or a crappy talk is given, you are a clap-your-hands -if -you-are - happy JW.
if you are a diligent mike handler in the KH and zero in on your targets without hesitation, equivocation or prevarication, you are a jimmy's - got- potential boom - operating JW.
If you always click pictures at the KH, conventions get - togethers, visiting dignitaries ( read degenerates) and similar occassions you are a flippin dolly - gripping JW.
If you are always the eager beaver operator of the sound system,you are a I-like-it-in-the-back ,best - boy gripping JW.
If you are the generous one, always dippin' to pay for the coffee or refreshments for the Special pioneer( read leech) or the CO or any of the other bandits ,you are suck-up -to-me -proper-Joe-Soap JW.
If you refuse to pay heed to all the evidence that has been brought to you abut the Borg. and it's capricious ,lying philosophy and teachings ,you first in line for the J.W-of -the-year award. as well as the waiting-in-line-to-be-annointed award J.W!
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MissFit
Hairtrigger: I like the first two. Very funny.😂 -
MissFit
If the sight of a birthday cake makes you freeze in terror.
if you hide in the bedroom with the lights off during Halloween.
if you reach for your "Reasoning" book first when someone asks you a bible question.
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M*A*S*H
If you can sleep with your eyes open... you might be a JW.
If you can look up scriptures whilst sleeping with your eyes open.... you might be a JW MS.
If you can answer WT questions, look up scriptures whilst sleeping with your eyes open.... you might be a JW Elder.
If you can go on field service, answer WT questions, look up scriptures whilst sleeping with your eyes open.... you might be a JW CO.
If you are always sleeping with your eyes open... you might be a JW GB member.
If you are awake... chances are you are an apostate.
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FayeDunaway
If someone sneezes and you ask 'are you ok?'.... might be a jw.
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MissFit
If someone says "shades of gray" book and you automatically think they are referring to your gray bible. -
Coded Logic
If you can go to an hour and a half meeting - and then five minutes later not be able to remember a single thing about that meeting - you might be a JW.
If you think "meeting attendance" is a synonym for "spirituality" - you might be a JW.
If you've ever been annoyed by someone taking longer than 5 seconds to find a scripture in the Bible - you might be a JW.
If you have no money saved at all and your retirement plan is to steal your rich neighbors house and have pet lions - you might be a JW.