Parent sleeping with teenagers

Fatfreek

An ex brother and I were talking recently and he recounted a bizarre story. He too left the Witneys some years ago, got a divorce, and the two children (both boys) decided to stay with his wife since she was still a JW.
One of his boys (never baptized a JW) confided in him not long ago about the sleeping arrangements after he left. She told the boys that she was feeling depressed and lonely because of the divorce and turmoil that their apostate father had caused her and asked them (ages 15 and 16) to each alternate and sleep with her every other night.
It took lots of courage for this son to talk to his father about it since he wanted it off his chest. He related how uneasy he felt (he was the 15 year old) at times when she snuggled up to his back side and nudged him in what he felt were suggestive moves. Nothing ever happened, the boy conceded, but those events bothered him even after some 20 years when he related it to his father.
This ex brother told me how much this angered him. He said that while they were all together as a family he'd been away on several business trips and he's confident she'd never done that kind of thing on those occasions.
I asked him if he'd ever thought of any legal action or taking it to the authorities. No, he said, and it was so long ago he'd hate to stir things up for the sake of the boys.
What do you think? Fats.

greendawn

I think it's better if he doesn't create a turmoil after so many years as that will just open up old wounds in the family.

ButtLight

I guess you could look at that from both sides. The kids may have felt uncomfortable about it, it does seem odd. But the mom may have felt lonly and just wanted someone there! Although, If I were alone, I sure wouldnt want to snuggle next to my 15 year old son! Yuck.

loosie

I would definitly document it. You never know when you might need it in the future. In case she ever brings something up against you.

MidwichCuckoo

I asked him if he'd ever thought of any legal action or taking it to the authorities.

Errrr - for WHAT?

EvilForce

I'm with Midwich....I don't quite understand why the authorities should /would be involved?

Loosie....they have already been divorced for more than 20 years. Why would he want to document anything?

EscapedLifer1

Hi,

Sorry, but from what little you have related it just sounds sad, in the sense that she was lonely, upset, maybe even unstable at the time. Sounds to me like she just wanted one of her "boys" near. I went through a short seperation with my wife, and my boys wanted to sleep in the same bed with me after she left (10 and 12). They were just so unsettled by it, they didn't want to sleep by themselves in their own room. Nothing weird or uncomfortable ever happened, and it was only for a couple weeks, but it seemed to make them feel more secure. Perhaps that secure, safe, feeling was all she was craving.

Brandon

Big Tex

It's certainly boundary crossing, if not outright emotional incest. The woman was being extraordinarily selfish and somewhat predatory by her behavior. If this were a recent event, yes there would be cause and justifiable reason to pursue the matter. However as it has been 20 years, I see little reason to pursue any legal remedy. No matter how tightly written any child abuse law might be, there is nearly always a statute of limitations. Additionally, after this length of time it would do the boy (now a grown man) little good as well. For a victim of sexual abuse to pursue a legal remedy, there is always a tremendous emotional price to pay. It's sad, but true.

However he would do well to find someone to talk to. I would encourage him to find a psychologist who is trained in dealing with adult survivors of abuse. This sort of behavior by this woman can easily create somewhat confused feelings, perhaps anger in the son who might well act out these feelings in ways that might seem unrelated to the original event. At this point, taking care of himself, and leaving the law out of it, would be his best course.

Chris

loosie

Ef: In my time I have seen some very vindictive ex wives. I think when dealing with an ex, eveything should be documented to cya. What if there are grandchildren involved someday, and grandma is feeling lonley.

I think we should try to keep the scarring of the future generation down to a minimum.

vitty

My husband spent a lot of time away on business and my kids (boy and girl) would often ask "mummy can I sleep in your bed tonight" Id reply "bog off , I want this bed all to myself "

No honestly, when I had a nightmare one night ( its was terrifing, monk with an axe,,,,,,,,) anyway, I went and got my 13 year old son, daughter was away too! and got him in my bed I was really scared, but It did feel uncomfortable and we had a big gap.........

Im not a very touchy feely mum anyway, so no I wouldnt have done this, but if nothing happened, id tell his son to get over it ........really I would

Parent sleeping with teenagers

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