Posts by cyber-sista

54

Did You Enjoy Simply Passing The Bread & Wine At The Memorial?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i remember how little kids got so excited when they got to actually touch the glass and the dish!

yet, most people seemed to (respectfully) keep their heads down and try to look morbidly serious.

was the act of "passing the emblems" a thrill for you?

cyber-sista

Like many others, I had the all the usual fears of spillage, droppage and breakage.

The thing I liked most about it the most was the silence. When nobody was talking or droning on during the emblem passing--it was rather a JW zen state of mind that lasted only for a few minutes out of the countless hours we spent at the KH over the year. I rather savored those minutes of silence. The rest was like any other meeting, but it was shorter.. There was always one brother or sister in the crowd that would make the joke afterwards (or whispered during) "boy that wine sure smelled good" and everyone around them would smile and chuckle in agreement (another hilarious sidesplitting JW joke for you)

I also liked to look at the full moon on the way home and continue on in my zenlike state of mind. Sometimes people had some dessert parties at their house afterwards (AKA wholesome association). I usually didn't go--seemed a bit tacky to me. Not that I don't like to party, but you know if you really took the whole thing seriously, as the serious occasion it was made out to be, we should have all been at home praying and fasting instead of eating Duncan Hines and ice cream...As usual things just didn't seem to fit into any logical reasonable order in my mind...

36

I told my mother to stop contacting me

by kyria in

jw
friends

after two months of terribly abusive emails from my mother telling me that i "am not capable of appreciating true love" and her weird delusions that i have no friends and my life is a mess, i finally cut her off.

i blocked her email address, and i told her to stop contacting me.

yes, the jehovah?s witnesses.

cyber-sista

Kyria,

I am sorry you had to be pushed to the point of separating from you mother, but I understand how it gets to that point sometimes. I remember reading a book years ago called "toxic parents." Sad, but true, it is just that way sometimes. I appreciate your strength to head your life in a healthy directions. Many of us here are trying to find our way through it all, and some have had to leave others behind, many times not by choice, but in order to survive and be healthy. I will look for your postings.

thanks for sharing

it helps us all...cybs

8

Collected stories about my JW upbringing...

by kyria in

hello.. i am working on a series of stories about my jw upbringing which i intend to perform as a one-person show in the near future.. i am in the process of putting them up online, and thought they might be of interest to some people here.

(keep in mind that they are still a bit rough!).

they can be found here:.

cyber-sista

Kyria--excellent writing--I read them all in a row--couldn't stop. I will never forget the "zombie automaton door-knockers"-going to mark your site and check in on the progress of your further stories.

Thanks for sharing,

cybs

20

For those ever put on "restrictions" , how long where you on them?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

ok,,,,, i admit it..... i was not the perfect .

there was nooooooo way i would have went to the elders while still living in my father's home..... he would have beat me unmercifully, not to mention the emotional abuse of having failed him, the reproach and embarrassement i caused etc.

i was ready to just die at armeggedon , than to confess my sins to the elders.

cyber-sista

I was never put on "restriction" but for sure would be now if they knew I was posting on this board!! (I am still presently catagorized as inactive.)

In the congregation I most previously attended many were on restrictions to one degree or another it got difficult keeping up with it all. Brother A had been "reproved" and was "on restriction" and then his wife was told because he was "on restriction" he was considered "bad association". This bothered me because I was associating with brother A and his wife and from what I understood after all my years being a JW that "reproof" wasn't the same as being marked as "bad association". I asked the elder (mistake) and he told me that brother A was "on reproof" and was making his way back, thus still considered "bad association." The elders had recently told brother A that they didn't feel that it was time for him to be "off reproof" yet. They had told brother A that while he was attending the meetings the elders had noticed him dozing off at times so they didn't feel he was taking things seriously enough (brother A works really hard during the day and is tired a lot) I told elder that I thought that being "on reproof" was something that was no longer done and he seemed confused. The CO came and I told sister A she and brother A should ask CO. CO talked with brother A and sister A in front of elder and elder acted like he couldn't recall telling anyone that brother A was "bad association" (even though he had told sister and myself when I asked him about it,) OK, after CO left brother A got his answering "privleges" back, but didn't feel too inspired to answer after that.

Meanwhile, back at the old KH sister and brother B got reinstated--they had both been Dfd for who knows what, but it was annouced at the same time that they were still on full "restiction" whatever that means. One sister explained it to me that being on "full restriction" meant that you couldn't do anything except go out in service, but if you found someone that wanted a bible study it would be turned over to someone else, because being on "full restriction" you were not allowed to conduct a bible study, but the sister that told me about this seemed a little confused too.

Another bro was marked as "disassociated" or some thought---whatever that means. Some said he was "bad association" because had been "marked as disassociated" (I had never heard of this catagory either).

Anyway, to make a very long story short ... I don't see any rhyme nor reason to any of it. (some would probably sayit is because since I stopped going to meetings I can no longer comprehend these "deeper things") it appears to me that it is all up to the whim of the elders whether you are on "restrictions" for one month or several. I could see no specific rules in regards to any of it. I think it is something the elders make a "matter of prayer" in their little back room meetings. This is how they determine most things I found out (another story). They claim that the "holy spirit" gives them the answers- -even to judge people's hearts...

28

Are you going to the memorial

by lillost in

i was asked by my mother today "are you going to the memorial this year".

i declined most graciously and said thank you for thinking of me, and although i haven't been for the last eight years i thought no more of the ritual invitation.. then suddenly it dawned on me that my mothers response was quite abrupt and something along the lines of "well i have done my christian duty by asking you".

it was if she was literally washing the blood from her hands and she had tried to save me yet again.. has anyone else experienced this my mother has always talked to me with all civility about the "truth", i just wondered if there is new counsel now in how to deal with daughters and family that have fallen by the wayside.. appreciate your help.

cyber-sista

Sassy...This will also be my first memorial missed. I am expecting the elders to call any day now to "remind" me. I am also expecting many others to be asking me about it...Since I am presently catagorized as being "inactive" many will be shocked when I don't tend the memorial. I think this will be a breaking point for me with those still in the Org. I remember a sister last year making some real cutting comments about a woman who did not attend for her first time last year. So, this is it folks...I am making the big break..

41

"I will tell you why you don't believe"

by Sirona in

"do you want to know why you don't believe the truth anymore?

i've just been asked this question by a jehovahs witness who stopped to talk to me in town.

i'd told her i didn't believe anymore.

cyber-sista

What I have been told is that you stop attending meetings you lose God's "holy spirit" and then you can no longer see "the truth." I have heard this for years--it is one of the "dangers" of not going to meetings. (another guilt and fear tactic)

When I told one sister I know from a former congregation that I was no longer attending meetings because of the things I had experienced she said "meetings and a full share in the ministry are NOT optional, if we stop going to meetings we will then start to decide for ourselves what is right and wrong." (This was a very bad thing in her book)

It is true once you stop going to meetings and subjecting yourself to the WT brainwashing program your mind starts to clear and you no longer see "the truth" in the same light as you did before. It becomes repulsive and you are upset to ever have been involved in such a thing. You seek out others who feel the same and you end up posting on the JWDF. That is part of my story...

32

My DA, Front page of daily paper, OCR of article

by garybuss in

jw
friends

argus leader, sioux falls, south dakota, tuesday, jan. 23, 1996. page 1. .

by carson walker.

argus leader staff.

cyber-sista

Thanks again Gary for for being there and telling it like it is. You have helped me a lot in my breaking out of the Org.

But again, sorry it was such a tough break for you...

13

A spin-off to Does it ever get easier?

by Joysome in

my question is regards to family though.

does missing your mother ever get easier?

does not wanting to hurt her or even others in the congregation get easier?

cyber-sista

I am so sorry Joy. I have a sister who is not communicating with me much since I have been inactive. She has totally cut off her 2 sons who have left the Org. Her sons call me and tell me the same story you have written--that they miss their mom and also their sister and brother who are still at home who they can no longer see. I tell them that their Mom really does love them, but she is just doing what she has been told is the best thing to do. I know that it is very painful for my sister and she has had to shut part of herself down to be able to stop associating with her sons. In her mind she is doing this as a sacrifice of herself in behalf of their ultimate well being, or so she has been told. She was a good mom when they were growing up and I saw how much she loved them. I am sure this is the same with your mom. It is the wall that the Org puts up to separate families. They tried to do it to my family too. I despise the Org for causing so much pain in people's lives.

Keep on moving ahead in a healthy direction--it may be someday your mom and others will step out of the WT illusion and will want to restore the relationship. Until then, keep on sharing...

15

Is this another scam? Or is it on the level?

by avengers in

jw
friends

please return email to my private box at: [email protected].

please endeavour to used it for the children of god.. i am the above named person from kuwait.

i am married to dr. harry.

cyber-sista

SCAM ALERT..Letters and emails such as these have been going around for a while. I have received not this one but some very similar ones...

195

What "CAUSES" a molested child to hurt? (Warning: Possible Triggers)

by gumby in

when a child is molested, they suffer in many ways through their years as we all know.

my question is......what tells them it is not right?

how do they know that they have been abused?

cyber-sista

Just a few rambling thoughts...

Apart from viewing child molesting as an emotional issue (which it is) we could also conclude that it could be a biological issue. As humans we go through many natural developmental stages of life. Some of these stages seem to be set up (genetically) as a protection to us as human beings --possibly to prevent life threatening early pregnancies, etc. Before a child reaches sexual maturity it could be that that a young child is damaged psychologically by an early sexual experience because their mental and physical bodies are not yet developed enough to be able to process that experience in a healthy way. I have seen in children, that apart from the way they are taught, they naturally seem to reach an age of modesty in regards to their bodies. They are uninhibited as children (running about naked and such) and then suddenly they become more private about their bodies

Also from a mental point of view I think it feels like a trap to the victim--it is a situation they have no control over--something forced upon them--an uninvited and unwanted invasion of their personal space.

From whatever angle you view it and for whatever reason it is child molesting is extremely damaging to self and it without therapy it seems to set most of those victims up for a lifetime struggles with unhealthy codependant relationships, depression, etc, etc...I think we have all seen that fact too many times over...

My love and sympathy goes out to any victims out there...