(((Cordelia)))
Sweety, ask if he believes you should be free to speak what is truthfully in your heart. Ask if he will be able to love you no matter how you feel right now, if nothing else in hopes that you will change in the future. Ask if his love for you is conditional on you doing what an earthly organization tells you to do.
But, Cordelia, you can't continue being dishonest with him. It will tear you both up in the long run. I am aching for you, I understand the pull, but if you aren't true to yourself you will be someone else's puppet. That isn't just true in this organization, if you lose your integrity to yourself you are lost, you become something other than you. If there is any way I can help, let me know.
Lurkers, this is an excellent example of the kinds of emotional torment this Organization brings into the lives of anyone who comes to a point where they disagree. They advocate for freedom of expression, but they only give that freedom lip service. This is angering to some people, and rightly so. It is called indignance, not bitterness.
Respectfully,
OldSoul