theinfamousone
JoinedTopics Started by theinfamousone
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14
sometimes this place makes me sick...
by theinfamousone init has been quite some time since i have posted on this glorious discussion group... it has been even longer since i have started any discussions myself.. and as somber (or possibly upsetting), my title or even thesis may seem, there is reason and respect coming behind it.... i do love the majority of the people who post here... though your faces and names may have changed since i started here, your kind words, sincere support and listening ears have always been very much appreciated... you have helped me through the hardest times of my life... my feelings of inadequacy (spl?
) and loneliness have often been overshadowed by your caring and love... so i must start by thanking you..... now, that being said; sometimes when i come online and read the dribble that some of you protray as discussion, i am almost sickened... right now my stomach is in knots because of the recent description of one's fecal matter i was subject to read... and yes, i know i could have just clicked off of it, but the title seemed appealing, the subject matter on the other hand was not.... but even this is not enough to turn me off of this site.... the other thing that leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth, is the bull **** that i once believed... the terrible attitude and delusion of grandeur i once shared with the people of this terrible organization.... the pain i must have helped to instill in people who truly did not deserve it... the hatred i felt inside when someone decided to disassociate themselves, or the anger i felt towards the people that were disfellowshipped.
the letters i wrote to my friends, who had left... the families that were falling apart around me, as my own was able to hold some semblance of happiness and stability (whether feigned or not)... all the pain and torture this borg has put me through...has put so many others through... this has left me reeling.... reading about it every day no longer instills anger in me, as it used to... now, it sickens me... sickens me to believe i once felt this way, sickens me that so many others still condemn others for thinking... sickens me to realize that there are other 15 year olds out there being beaten for smiling... sickens me to think that there is not much i can do to help them... except maybe hope that one day they will find this website, or find some friend, or find me, and we can all work together to help this person out..... yes, i needed to rant... the true nature of this message though is to say thank you to all of you for making me realize how sick the witnesses are... how morally blind they are... and how much pain they instill... thank you for helping me out when i needed the help most... thanks for being my family... and i just hope i can help you all and anyone else that needs it as much as you helped me... i hope one day we all feel sickened at the damage the witnesses caused and continue to cause.
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do i go with my gut instinct???(long, im sorry, but i need help)
by theinfamousone inso, simply put, i am in love... and love makes a man do some really stupid things.... love makes a pretty damn intelligent man feel pretty damn stupid quite often as well... so here's my story... i have been dating this girl for almost a year now... she is beautiful, sweet, and really just everything i imagined in a life mate... she lives with me... she doesnt work, while i do full time, and also go to school... i make very good money, so that does not bother me... but heres where it all begins... a few months ago, she went to cuba with her sisters, and imoved her into my place while she was gone, her idea, not mine.. now we keep our condoms in a certain place.... anyways, her box of condoms was gone, with her... when she comes back, our little box of condoms is empty.... instead of asking her about it, i explained it to myself as she must have given them to her sister.... .
while i am gone at work, i usually give her a call on my breaks... i notice that she never answers the phone between 6-8 pm.. home or cell... her explanation is that she is always in the shower... the problem with that is that she is always coming out of the shower when i get home.... i get home at around nine... so either she is taking a 3 hour shower or she is taking two showers a night..... she disappears off the face of the earth everytime she goes home to visit her family... like shes not home, shes not answering her phone and only ever calls me when she is in her car....her explanation is that she is at a cousins house.. conveniently, one that i do not know..... last night she went to a wedding... it was over at 11, i know this because she had told me, nd a friend of mine tht was there said that it ended then,,, it was a dry wedding, no dancing... very religious people... i was supposed to meet her at 130 today, i got to the train station that she was coming to, 15 minutes early and waited over an hour there... finally as i decied to walk back home, she gives me a call... i will be home at 5, meet me at the train.... of course, i have been calling her since last night at 11 to tell her i would meet her at 130 as she had planned... i made brunch for her, which is now in the garbage... i was scared shitless she had been hit by a car or dead since her phone has been off since last night.... i asked her why she is so late, i was helping move things until 3am last night... bull shit.. all the gifts were given prior to the weding and the bride and groom had already moved into their new place.... i know because she has told me in the past.....her phone was dead according to her... but all of the sudden, she is able to use it.... no charger, but she can use it..... i did confront her once, and she exploded on me!!!!
like screamed and screamed and said she was insulted i even asked... textbook defensive behaviour right????.
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SOUTHERN ONTARIO-apostafest please??!?!!
by theinfamousone inhey guys... all you people from southern ontario, and hey why not northern new york too, i want to go to an apostafest... i've spoken to a few people on here who are more than willing to join... even had some great people offer their places... but anyways, im thinking in the hamilton/toronto area is where we should have it... everyone has busses to toronto, in case driving is not possible... tell me what you all think.
the infamous one.
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she left me today......
by theinfamousone ini went out to see my sister and my mom... when i got back she said she was leaving... when i asked why, she said she was weirded out by my lack of trust.... i couldnt trust her,, so i hid things... its not her fault, its not like i was lying or anything, but i mean some shit, i just didnt tell her... i am so used to being called names, lectured and torn apart for being 100% honest, that now, i still am scared to let anyone completely in... now the best thing that ever happened to me is gone... she left and im not sure shes ever coming back... and iom not sure who to blame.. i mean its obviously my fault, but did the borg put a fear of trusting into my heart and soul?
i guess i cant blame anyone but myself... but at this point, im so torn and hurt that im not sure what to do... all i know is that what was finally having the semblance of family to me is now gone... the first time i was able to live with someone and love someone, albeiut with an ingrained sense of distrust, has disappeared, probably never to return..... .
this has broken me, i don't know what i will be doing with myself for the next couple of days... i feel almost dead inside... the infamous one.
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i finally got crisis of conscience
by theinfamousone instaring the book today and am excited as hell... as soon as i am finished i am giving it to my little sister whos still in the borg... hopefully it will help her in the transition, wooooooooot.
the infamous one.
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is atheism better than believing in a god who doesnt care?
by theinfamousone inso here's a sincere question... and instead of pressing my frustrations and blaming god and bla bla bla... i decided that instead of writing letters to an inactive god, i would ask your opinion!!!!!.
here's the question, looking at the world around you, seeing all the pain and frustration, the death and disease, the war and hypocricy, the starvation and disgust; generally seeing that our world is falling apart... if someone were able to irrevocably prove that there was a god, an intelligent creator is you will, would you want to worship him?
if he was there and created all of this just to watch it all implode, would you be able to respect that?
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anyone else sick of stroking certain apologists egos?
by theinfamousone ini am quite sure most of you have noticed some anti-atheist threads... some may have noticed the backlash of pro-atheist threads... it's kinda funny to me, seems these threads are being posted by the same people, even though they are not... the problem lies here, these topics reach discussion board infamy by being 15 or more pages long... why?
because there are one or two apologists, who instead of discussing it like the mature adults they are not, they ridicule and mock... they make their beliefs into fact and make fun of manyone who points out the fact that what they say is not substancial evidence but is only belief... you may even know who in particular i am talking about, but that does not matter... at this point, i am sick of allowing these men to mentally masturbate all over this discussion board.... maybe its time to ignore them since they are only trying to evoke reactions from us????.
the infamous one.
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my "father" decided to send me an email!
by theinfamousone inbefore we even begin, if you have not read my story, you may not understand why this is such a big deal to me... this is a part of my story and it can be found at: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/101870/1.ashx.
and here we go... my "father", an abusive bastard of a jw, recently sent me an email that put me in a tizzy!
it was late friday night, i had just gotten home from a shift at a local bar where i bartend on occasion!
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to hell with god... (letter number three)
by theinfamousone injehovah,.
it has been quite some time since i have written you a letter.
the reason is complicated, and is much more than just one.
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my cat died today... i need consoling...
by theinfamousone inthis is the guy that sat on my razor blades the one time i was thinking of cutting myself... this is the guy that everytime my dad beat me, would come to my room and lay with me... this is the guy that one time jumped into the bathtub with me while i was crying after a brutal beating, the cat hated water... this is a cat that was more family to me than my own father and mother combined... this was my best friend... .
today i had to do the hardest thing i ever did, i had to choose to have him put down... and as he fought the vet, and tried to bite her, i put my hand on his head, and he stopped struggling... and as they put the last needle into his leg, he purred until he died... the vet says she has never seen that before... this was my best friend and i had to kill him... fuck, im a baby, but i miss him soooo much.
the infamous one.
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