Thank you to all. I can't sleep tonight knowing that in 7 hours I'll be in the rehab/clinic and I will have to spill my guts about everything. Not just my addiction but everything. It is going to be one of the hardest things I will ever have to go and do but I have to go do it. I'll try to bring my laptop and see if they let me use it or what happens.
Posts by Cygnus
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33What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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Cygnus
CRR, my old computer died and with it went lots of phone #s. So please PM it to me on Yahoo. Thanks old buddy.
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im feeling it again...help me through this please
by tsunami_rid3r inim having that feeling where if i couldve been able to do something in the past, life wouldve been better.
like i wouldve been able to be much better friends with this person and that person.
or if i did that sport i couldve become closer to those people.
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Cygnus
Amen brother, amen. I have so many regrets from my high school days. It's hard to deal with. I am going to try to deal with them and so many other things. We can do it, man.
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33
What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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Cygnus
Another thank you to everyone..... I am using up my posts cause I don't know when I'll be able to post here again.
Candidly, I did visit my surgeon, he said to go on Zoloft. I didn't like that idea, espically since I am on two antidepressants already.
Outoftheorg, I am sorry for what you thought of me but believe me there was a lot involved and I only said half of what happened. It's between me and her and she has forgiven me and that's all that needs to be said now. Thank you for your kinds words now though.
Nina, I hope to visit you somebody when I see Jo and Becky again. They were amazing last time I saw them.
I love you all and I read the board when I can but not every day and I don't post much but please accept my love and thank you for your love.
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33
What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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Cygnus
Thank you all for the kind words and support. I will try my best to do what I have to do. For the poster who can't find the Awakening, just look for it by clicking on my name and going to Topics and you'll find it.
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33
What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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Cygnus
Also, may I recommend William Shatner's record from last year called "Has Been". He co-wrote it with Ben Folds and it also features Aimee Mann, Joe Jackson, Henry Rollins, and others. One song says in its lyrics, "LIVE LIFE, like you're gonna die..... cause you're gonna. Maybe you won't suffer, maybe it'll be quick, but you'll have time to think, 'Is this all there was? What was all the fuss? Why did I bother? Why did I waste it? Why didn't I taste it?'... You'll have time."
I don't want to think that when I die. It's an excellent record. Go to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0002RUPH4/qid=1115171490/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-4451454-6110421?v=glance&s=music and read the reviews. Then buy it. It's worth every penny. It's worth a 100 dollars. It will really make you think when you hear a 73 year old man spill his guts.
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33
What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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Cygnus
What is going on is I am 33 years old, I have physical ailments since my open heart surgery 2 1/2 years ago that make me feel 80, I have severe mental depression, anger, you name it. I have abused narcotics (pain pills, nothing worse, not cocaine or heroin but pain pills are bad enough) and I am going into rehab tomorrow. I have had serious suicidal thoughts recently. I need tons of help. And it's time to get professional help beyond therapy one hour a week (which helps, but isn't enough). I want my life back. I have been on antidepressants for 2 years but they don't help, not yet anyway. It's time to get on living or get on dying. I want the former. So I posted just to let my friends know I am at least trying. And if I disappear I am not dead, just doing whatever the rehab/mental hospital satellite office tells me I have to do. Life is so depressing when not on drugs. I need to kick the drugs, the painkillers, and get on living without them. So far I have not been honest with myself or anyone else for fear of ridicule or embarrassment. I don't care anymore. I would have been dead 40 years ago with my heart ailment. 20 years ago they would have given me a 50/50 chance at surgery. So I'm lucky just to be here. I don't want to kill myself but I think about it a lot. So please be kind to me and have patience. Some of you have known me for over 8 years. Please be nice and understanding, as you always have been, like when you helped me get out of the Witnesses. I'll say more if I have to... tonight. I go to rehab tomorrow morning.
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Have You Ever Had Any Weird Dreams???
by minimus inlast night i had a dream that a former (stupid) elder called me at 6 a.m. to tell me that he wanted to let me know that he was calling for the body of elders, that they asked him to call me to get together and answer some questions.
i said, "and you're calling me at 6 in the morning?
why???
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Cygnus
One study I read recently suggests our "reality" is something like 80 percent experience, and 20 percent observation. That's what helps separates us from animals. That and the ability to think ahead and rationalize. I have weird dreams all the time. Dreams about past loves. Dreams about people I met in the psych ward i spent 3 days in recently. Dreams about my family. Dreams about Armageddon and people I knew from high school, and how they are going to die. And i frantically try to get them to go the right way at the last minute. I dream about catastrophic floods. I am the master at weird dreams. I could post for hours about my dreams but I would just bore you guys. My therapist loves it though.
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Should Intelligent Design be taught in schools?
by AlmostAtheist inkansas is holding a debate to decide.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/education/05/02/life.evolution.reut/index.html.
topeka, kansas (reuters) -- evolution is going on trial in kansas.. eighty years after a famed courtroom battle in tennessee pitted religious beliefs about the origins of life against the theories of british scientist charles darwin, kansas is holding its own hearings on what school children should be taught about how life on earth began.. the kansas board of education has scheduled six days of courtroom-style hearings to begin thursday in topeka.
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Cygnus
In my ninth-grade biology class, my teacher, Mr. Feckham (who would smoke cigars in the bio lab hehehe) got real close to the class and I'll never forget his words. He said, to wit: "Some people will try to tell you we got here by creation. BULLSHlT. Evolution is the truth."
At the time I was a young JW and wanted to sock him in his alcoholic red nose, but now I know he was right. He's probably dead now. I say teach the kids ID,then do what my 9th grade teacher said - call it BULLSHlT.
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went to assembly past weekend lol
by JE1234 inwent to an assembly this past saturday.
reason why i went cause my mother in law was baptized so the rest of us non believers went for moral support.
it was in the "famous stanley theater" in nj that i heard so much about growing up, my mother was so happy even thou i went, watched baptizm, ate with my inlaws, and was out like a bolt of lightning lol.
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Cygnus
How did you make it through all those boring, repititious talks without some booze or klonopin or something?